I am so sure you'll change the world with the garbage you incessantly spill.

I wonder why you care what they think of you, but honestly, I knew why before even asking.

There is no point in pulling the skin back if there is nothing there.

bringing my hand to the lowest part of my back where the sensation has yet to return, I curl my fingers and clench my hand into a fist. I ****** it forward, in and out. No matter, nothing at all. I finally did it. I won and I am the one laughing. It ends up this was yet another harrowing joke.

I crawl for none but the sadist.

cowards
stomach made of tar
acidic and empty

offering an end where there was no beginning

everything I touch
will
turn
to
ashes

nothing is meant by this pause
this encounter is an error

been trying to live it down for seven years and some days now

even if I could trace your outline, I never knew your name

I say what I must to appease those that speak in tongues only my mind can seem to process

Your message is precious and I value your time

You will never know what victory really is until you lose everything

a culture too sensitive to exist
you should not care what people think about you because they do not matter

at least I now know we are not meant to last

the entrance is an exit

a pack of liars and thieves
you trust them all the same

unconditional

humans are by-products of a bygone era

I brag to my friends about it
All of my friends change their names when I'm not around

I have lost track of what I might have and then I forgot

A lull in traffic
All the buildings I see I'd rather jump off
I almost did it right the first time but the rope came untied

Cement my useless cavity of **** into the ground
I can tolerate this no longer

stupid puppet controlling everything
strings are tied to its spine
it writhes, gesticulates, and vomits

there is nothing for them on this planet
they are getting tired
so tired

Maybe one day they will hold me accountable

I try to exfoliate the earth so that I  may be released from her pores

if you've met god then you know satan and I don't know if you or I are the odd ones out

I came back home today and you weren't there so I opened myself and sprayed my catholic wine on the mirror and bathed in bug spray to clean out my insides, filthy with sin

*******, don't try to define ableism you neurotypical ****

I thought I could do one thing that matterd
mincing flesh and chewing animal fat

ripping the spine out of the catch of the day
only to find that the creature you thought you dominated has stolen your fragile spine of thorns, metastasizing itself as you and spitting venom in all of your *****

sometimes I am *****
sometimes I am pure
sometimes I am right

my body is assaulting the person beneath scars
and I am no longer afraid of what I think I might be

guess I'll be missing your birthday party this year

this song is about nothing and I am no one to be telling you this, I remember you with your satin sheets and ****** clownsuit and me hiding in a tree, questioning masculinity

hey you

you are me

I decided today that it would make it easier if I just ******* castrated myself and then cut off any limp remains of anything

it would be easier if ***-parts mattered less to you, for a forced congruency is to be established as fine, and the fact that you **** me you **** me you **** me it makes no difference

I have been ***** of my being by my being, and I will be ready shortly, once I figure out who I am for today.

the sirens won't stop going off in threes
the bird is still calling as if the night means nothing at all

and I come home to drown in the same water bed every night because I love the way it feels

I hate my body more than the events that define it
I don't want to be ******, as long as you don't touch me it's okay
the sky is dark and I plead for the rain after an infinite drought that causes my stomach to rupture and turns my tears into phosphorous drops only to be ignited by the rampant heavenly downpour

Oh my god is this it I ask openly as I inhale and exhale, slowly enveloping myself in fumes from my ruptured appendix and my crooked spine, growing like a plant that needs guidance to maintain rigidity

How long will it take for them to realize we are just
animals

Asking questions carefully but only submitting them as an answer to a question that I already asked to you about gender and how much I think I understand it what am I doing what have I done, all I can say is that I think it all goes away and either way I think I am nearly done

lactating in the shower naturally but lactating from the mouth

your whips and your chains act as inadvertent maps of the sky

I turn off the lights at orphanages
just to hear the sound of them cry

because trust me, trust me, even a ******* stray deserves to die

I don't give a **** if you can think
I don't give a **** if you can talk
I don't care what you do
All I care about is that you can suffer

Suffer like I do

but we **** on the same pacifiers
we inhale the dust from the factory floor

wintergreen coated plastic
put it between your gum and your cheek

its all the same, but a little different
just a little

the stage is set for a performance but the chairs do not contain people they contain mouths with knives for teeth and applause sealed with blood

the stage is set for me so I perform but I do nothing

the performance is intrinsic to the spectacle
do not tell the spectacle right from wrong
there is no registration, ever
but it will hurt you

in the later evening  when neither parent is home I laugh and I nod and I shake and I don't make a sound as my sanity is deduced to strings between my muscles

why do you police the gender politics of a dead horse

a person walked down the street they did not have a face
they cut off all their hair in front of me with a pair of kids rubber scissors

all the kids in front of him were built for blood
everyone behind him vomits according to the amount of hair the stranger cuts off

they stand up and take off their sunglasses and hat
they take off their pants
they are naked and they are nothing
otherwise occupied by a worthless punching bag or a warm trap

the stranger ran to my doorstep and they threw their wallet on the ground
they scrambled to grab the identification cards and such
and they proved to me that I was them

I live in the inevitable fear of my body as my existence continues and I am unable to stop it

So I was
petrified the night you left me
I was scared
I am so ******* scared

Patience is a virtue better taught than practiced

I want to sleep endlessly
Give me a drug to do all three
An abundance of violence

If it were up to me it'd be an all out war

how do you decide what a war film is or what it isn't

bound to incorrect gods
another unimpressive but expected sunrise
another waltz around the room

the urn was broken and the ashes of every dream I've ever had were broken with it

I don't understand why
you insist on transmitting misery
through the same dead and collapsed vein

I have been sitting for far too long
waiting patiently for inevitable disappointment
my legs have failed me
and I am sorry

but I cannot stand for this anymore

I am sorry, I am sorry, I am sorry

when I fell off the operating table I knew it was meaningless when I found out the doctors could not see the same shapes and bones and muscles I saw and I seen all of it I see it all I told them I seen it all before I swear if you offer me a hand out of this hole I will rip all the skin off your wrists you ******* I will never have revenge I will never know what truth feels like I was born waiting waiting to die that is the body is contorting and breaking because it cannot contain me I am free at last oh freedom what a feeling I say as the chair is kicked as I chuckle and tell you everything

My thoughts are
throbbing migranes with corresponding images

I am asleep underground and it is much safer
You call your attorneys
and I'll call mine

Heard you pounding at the door
and
I wanted nothing more than
to invite you in

I have never seen my own face
Tell me what I should know

Crimson bursts from my sutures
The stitches dotting my spine dissolve and integrate themselves into what's left of the body's nervous system
I lay in pools of my own involuntary spew as I cackle with open eyes trapped in the depths of sleep

unmoved.

he comes out for a drink
he is cradling the frail expectation of sunrise
he is convulsing and he breaks both legs on the stairs
he cannot stop laughing
he cannot stop shaking

she comes out for something to chew on
glancing at my most private synapse
she is biting her fingernails to brittle fragments
she wants me to remember what happened in the deepest shadow of the monolith
that she was perverted in God's right hand
with the other hand stuffed desperately into his pants

she wants him to remember everything she vowed to forget

Alive in a state of quiet observation
with sinks full of insects
and a body of christ

A document written in a dead language
The pledge is recited backwards
They embed themselves in the flesh

Spores used for growth or salts used for sniffing or songs used for sleeping

Puncture wound, when pressure was applied to the chest cavity, it collapsed; the streets were blistering with heat and buckling with weight, his head was full of an unidentified substance, the noose was tied and  the body supplied the weight, their job was done; the silt of a lifetime of nightmares coated the frontal lobes of the body's brain, the cave was opened indefinitely.

Just as much obscurity as will make me noticeable
It is hard to be proud when every prosthetic is better than you

I am reduced to nothing but what am I reduced to

there is a man on the side of the parkway with a plan and a gun
I fall off bridges I thought I'd burned

Every night I sleep with a stranger
One whose shadow I dwell in every day
When I wake I cannot see them anymore

You have too many words on your geographic tongue
My heart is dancing in the rain with a
strange man with no ****** features

My umbilical cord was involuntarily cut

I never told them I wanted this body

I cannot move so instead I imitate who I think I am over and over again until the door opens

Mankind has been taught to think for too long
so we should stop

How can you trace my
bones with your
hands

How can you touch me after what I've done

for extra

Surprise! Surprise; this life should not come as one

Push me off of that
roof as I
finish writing this

and whispering but I am not there I am not there I am not there

My body is an economy in failure

"Here's our money"

What we have found of each other
will **** all of us

These words come from a mouth that never closes
With thumbtacks for teeth
and a sandpaper tongue

The monsters we create are soon to pass
Old blame needs new hosts
Throw the baby out with the bathwater

I live in a room without walls
I share my home with total strangers

We are captives but we are floating in the water
I built a boat out of inconclusive arguments
and slept on the floor of the sea

Finally.