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That first taste so bitter and cold
By the third I'm that sweet altered state
I'm thirsty for acceptance
I'm hungry for love
This power feels incredible
My love of that altered state
Grows deeper every time
That feeling that everything is pillowed soft
My issues melt away what's left is the best part of me funny, ****, blunt, little me
Truth I need that altered state to help me feel normal
The hole world has no idea what its like in this head
The constant tug of war over every little decision  
A battle within myself
can any one hear me that my heart is screaming out
for the one that i love that im in love with
and yet i fell like im on the edge of a ledge scramming
and now one can hear me

they can see but they cant hear it and dont care that i am
and i dont understand why people wont let me be happy and
be in love and do what i want? i dont understand it

my heart wants him what about him? does his heart want me?
does he want me? does he think about me as much as i do? does he
want me? does he think about us as much as i do?

what is he doing? i am so much in love with him.
i sleep on words around him i cant think around him i cant say what i want
my hands sweet and i cant breath around him

its like the lights go dime and everyone around goes a way and its just us and
us only
thats how he makes me feel and i trust him and respect him and i am calm around him and i melt o god i melt and i mean that from from my heart
my heart skips a beet w him i just love being around him

i love him sooooo....... much i dont know what to do i love him if hes not hear
or ever leaves i dont wanna be here anymore and i MEAN THAT he is my HEART IF HES GONE SO IM I

I MEAN THAT FROM MY HEART

<3 ~ DANIEL ROBERT EALR I LOVE YOU SO MUCH TILL DEATH ~ <3
i cant even think straight anymore?
this is the first time im writing with out you to write back.
but why would you care?
you didnt want to write back in the first place?
why would i care about what you thought when i clicked the publish button?
electricity ran through my heart waiting for you to comment.
yeah; **** it.... i dont want to write poems any more.
because of you.
i am not in the mood to write...
my head is in piercing pain;
emotions are sore and haphazard;
resistance is doubling its might;
slain eyes are about to rain...

yes, my eyes have been slain -
like two lovers
by a jealous and envious third;
been rid of all chances
and glimpses -
so yenned for, like air -
of you...

they rain clear showers,
they rain crimson showers,
they flood all terrain and
shape rivers -
deep crimson-clear rivers of need,
they let my soul bleed
through their chambers...

i am not in the mood to write...
because - you've both hurt me like hell,
because - you've both played with my feelings;
because you care naught for my reelings...

i am not in the mood to write...
what did EVER i do to you?!

or, maybe, - you're simply a coward
for being a friend AND a lover?!

but that would be
artlessly easy...
or, maybe, i'm - simply - just blind?

i am not in the mood to write;
i am not in the mood to fight;
i am not in the mood for my goodness;
and for backstage-politics wooers...

(c)kRu, 03.07.-13.07.11
Back roads like my image seem destined for only past reflection for ive burnt the image within the depths
of a dirrty song and a broken soul.
Track marks warm feeling can you embrace my day eternal and gather my sense for just one more write.
Can i hold it togather just for one more night?
Im sorry i cant speak within these confines lets give madness a manic spin in a shallow crowd.

As a dim lit room the wine will flow sangria's fire can you replace that which I no longer control?
It used to be freedom now it only is a action like some trained monkey or circus animal i know the routine but never do i thrive as once i did befor.

As for passion it's as dead as my voice that echos within this tomb.
Do you know what it is to die twice.?
I never did thirst for the norm and now im overwhelmed by rejection it's so very hard to run on junkies leg's.
Page I can only spoil your plessure for the well has went dry leaving only a fool with a tin cup to die of thirst beside you.

Another summers play ive passed more thoughts unwritten to a audience of stars .
When words dont connect there simply empty call's apon the wind.
But a fools  yerning is but a role and this play has been cast for another.

I hope you understand that which makes me only question in a paranoid late night haze.
The nightwatch no longer my own time has come for me to step aside.
 Apr 2013 joagny modesto
SW
I am thoughtful, I dont speak unless I feel the need.
And with most people I dont.
Im observant, to the point of being creepy. :P
I watch people, not in a perverted or wrong way
I watch them to see how they act, and what their doing.
I am socially  illiterate, Im extremely awkward with people
So I watch others to try to figure out what to do.

Im realistic, both optimistically and pessimistically depending on the circumstance
I think in logical cycles "If not this then that." "If not that, then this." and so on.
Despite all the logic and awkward social standing, I do have a sense of humor
It is sometimes crude, or overly complex but it is there.
And my friends tend to enjoy it as well.

I love to learn, anything everything anytime all the time.
Which is one of the reasons Im observant. I learn primarily through watching.
Though reading is just as easy for me.
Listening is not however.
I still want so much more knowledge though, and life is so short.
"He's a genius" is all I've heard since I was in 3rd grade.
I hate it.
I am not a genius, I learn easy and have good recall and intuition.
A genius is someone who can solve a problem in a hundred different ways
Im smart, but Im not a genius.

Im an artist in every sense. As this not-really-poem shows.
Its why I joined this site. I love poetry.
I love reading and writing, and I'm good at both.
I love painting and any kind of visual art.
I like shuffle dancing, its constant motion which plays
into my hyper moods. - I consider dancing art (Im not sure if it actually is though)

And finally.
Music.
Music is everything to me, Its what I do when I have emotions I need to deal with
I literally talk to my instruments when I play them - Yes I know that is weird. :d
I can play most instruments, not all. But most.
My favorite is the guitar, then piano, then any other stringed instrument.
Then any woodwind instrument - which is something Ive always wanted to learn to play.
A series that I feel the need to write. Things about me both obvious and obscure.
im not in the mood to write
im not in the mood to read
im just to tired
to tell wrong from right

tired of *******
tired of lies
tired of playing the game
and im done with it

— The End —