When the morning was waking over the war
He put on his clothes and stepped out and he died,
The locks yawned loose and a blast blew them wide,
He dropped where he loved on the burst pavement stone
And the funeral grains of the slaughtered floor.
Tell his street on its back he stopped a sun
And the craters of his eyes grew springshots and fire
When all the keys shot from the locks, and rang.
Dig no more for the chains of his grey-haired heart.
The heavenly ambulance drawn by a wound
Assembling waits for the *****'s ring on the cage.
O keep his bones away from the common cart,
The morning is flying on the wings of his age
And a hundred storks perch on the sun's right hand.

I do not exist,
Outside the rims of your eyes.
When you see me they sparkle
And you come alive.

My family looks at me,
I do not know what they see-
I think they see nothing at all.
Whatever it is,
Is easily believed.
But you rush to me,
Pull me close.
“Our love is unbelievable”
You whisper as my anxieties doze.

My friends see me,
I am needed and used.
And when the temper flares
I am shamefully abused.
You always say you need me,
But more than that.
You want me in your life,
And never on me have you spat.
Or left me downtrodden,
To hide.

My books shun me,
And spite me with the words.
My cd’s play all the wrong songs,
Even if that is absurd.
Your words seek to lull me,
In a voice like a melody.
Your melody is never wrong,
Even when you sing out of key.

I’ve spent a night not existing,
Lost without a clue.
I do not need to be sad,
When I do exist
If only to you.

When someone loves their addiction more than they love you,
they will give you things
like candleholders and dried strawberries,
iPhones and giftcards,
midnight drunk texts,
they will hold out
an ashtray for your pain,
but they will cover their ears for they
have long since stopped wanting
to listen.
They will send you
on trips that lead to nowhere
but a dead end of endless guilt.
They will ****
with your head until you're convinced
that blackmail is love
and spilling the truth is hate.
They will tell you relentlessly
how much they love you,
how much they need you,
how you're the only person that doesn't leave them.

When someone loves their addiction more than they love you,
they will disappear for weeks, you will
forget what their voice sounds like
you will begin to miss
perhaps an idea you had of them
you will begin to question
if they ever did exist in the first place.
They will use you and you will think it's love,
your friends will shake their heads and tell you to run for dear life
in the opposite direction
and you will push them away because
they couldn't possibly understand the depth of this love,
they weren't there when you had to pick up the pieces,
and you will tell yourself
that they aren't there, still.

You will beg for them to stop
Maybe someday, maybe someday they will say
and you will hope and you will hope and you will hope
but they won't, they won't, they won't.

You will slowly begin to crumble
You will master the art of appearing strong
and you will find new people to save
thinking maybe just maybe
this time will be different
this time will be different
but it never is,
it never is.

And then one day you will have to make a choice
between truly living or truly dying, because yes, you see,
it will get that bad.
You will cry for days,
you will settle on anything less
than love.

You will have to finally face the truth
because something's gotta give,
it might as well be a first
or second
or third
or billionth attempt
at sewing yourself back up.

Winter,
There is no win this season,
The snow and cold makes me all depressed and sad,
Hoping for an early spring,
At least that's what I hope for,
Every
Single
Day,
Yet another snowflake falls,
And don't get me wrong,
Snow is pretty every now and then,
But frankly I cannot want frozen fingers and toes
My body freezing to the very bone,
And I tire easily then before
Being awake is such a bore,
And I want to not freeze
Just a moment to feel a heart beat
And a warm hug, and hot coffee,
Cause cold is not my cup of tea