She sits on the chair
her wavy hair
still neatly in place
putting on her stockings

as he stands
with his back
to the window
gazing at her

she pauses
her fingers holding
the stocking tops
and looks at him

and says
in her sluttish French
do you want me
back tomorrow?

there is a draught
from the window
touching his naked back
sending a shiver

along his spine
sure
he says
but make it a little later

the wife’s got
a show to see
and she doesn’t leave
till just after 8

ok
she says
pulling up
the stocking

and fixing it
to the clip
shall I bring anything
with me?

no just yourself
he says
and maybe wear
that tight skirt

and creamy blouse
and those black stockings
she stands
and pulls down

her slip
to cover
her underwear
and looks around

for her dress
look
he says beware
of the concierge

she’s a nosey old biddy?
she asks
biddy what is that?
just be careful of her

he says
don’t let her
see you leave
or she’ll tell

the wife
oh I see
sure I will be careful
of the biddy

she says
picking up her dress
from the chair
by the bed

and as she turns away
he studies
her neat ***
the way she climbs

into the dress
her hands so quick
in movement
the finger so precise

like those of a pickpocket
and he sees her leg rise
the stockinged leg
the fineness of the thigh

then she turns toward him
and she smiles
and she starts
on the other leg

and he wonders
what his wife would say
if she came in now
how’d she’d look

then it’s over
the dame’s dressed
puts on her coat
and picks up her bag

and takes the money
he’d put on the desk
and shoves it
into the bag

and sighs
and leaves
and as she goes out
the door

waggling her ***
he knows
he wants her back
some more.

John Keats
John Keats
John
Please put your scarf on.

As the hazy summer days flew by
My heart still sang a lover's song
Longing to retrieve pieces of a broken heart
Perhaps forge anew withing another's arms
But there simply is not enough time, the summer was dying.
Much like the blazing fire within my soul

Deep pensive thoughts,
Concocted by this newly acquired sense of maturity,
Took hold of my mind
As the winter's grasp took my heart.
All the while the scent of old textbooks, chlorine, and dead flowers
Fueled my life.

My legs were tired after constantly running.
One boy to another
And the embers begin to die.
No longer does my heart desire the affection of another
Why run to the beach?
Why try again?
It all ends in pain.
The long hours of talking on the phone
Sharing secrets
Learning all there is to know about another
Loving.
Loving all there is to love and getting your soul torn?
No, I quit this cruel game.

Months pass and I am still hiding in the deep corners of my mind
Trusting another with my emotions?
What insanity
I can trust myself, and myself alone
The snow starts to fall and the cold reaches my core.
I am alone.

My fault? Perhaps
I just gave up on the game of 'love'
But all it really takes is little spark
To make a fire once more.

The new year is rung in with a bonfire under the stars
Notes, cards, flowers...everything
All up in flames.
I watch my old year ablaze before my eyes
And scratch open into a new notebook
"2013"
The blank pages stare back at me
As I ponder which words to embellish the skin with
More deep thoughts...
What do I want?

Having ignored all social aspects of my life,
I was happy.
Good grades, friends at my disposal, decent swim team times
As my thoughts continued
I ignored the feeling building up in my throat.
"Nobody loves you."

Independent, strong, beautiful, cunning, intelligent...
Sure when you brake it down I have a lot going for me.
But to take all these qualities
Have someone love your every flaw, bizarre habit, and womanly curve...
An impossible task.
And so I put my faith in the starts
Asking the universe for a miracle.
And then I waited.

A monotone voice says no school today
Followed by a hazy sleepy stumble,
Back to sleep right away
Warm sheets embrace me and
Lull back the dreams,
I get comfortable
Allowing for blankets to surround my form
Hold me close,
As no one else can...

No longer the frigged winter but on a beach far far away
The day comes to its end and the sky begins to blush
As the sun kisses her cheek, goodnight
Sand in my toes a lofty breeze in my hair
What more perfect a moment than being free in the summer air?
My subconscious ponders
My heart begins to sting
I am alone.

And so I emerge from my slumber,
For the boy of my dreams cannot be found when I'm asleep.

I love him, I love him
Those are the words I can no more deny
I love him, I love him
My soul fights them; yet my heart rejoices in them
They are the veins, lungs and living blood
of my sky;
they are the mirth of my night; merit of my poems;
and conscience to my being.

I loved him yesterday;
As the warm clouds came to greet me night and day
I love him today;
With feelings that might just be too hard to say
And I'll love him tomorrow;
Where my breath will be bathed in chilly piles of snow

Then I'll love him endlessly
As long as I breathe; and my senses are but awake
When all the other lovers are fake!
My life is for him solely to take;
and my love born for him to make.
He whose charms are real, benign and tender
He who is my destiny and truest wonder
I loved him last night, this morning, and again
Beneath the fierce stars and the deep showering rain
I loved him that day, but still I love him now;
and amongst our young, bountiful grace
just like here and now; I shall but love him forever.

I still repeat words you said to me over in my head.
And now I only speak in tongues,
For few understand the ramblings of a loveless madman.

I was running,
You were chasing,
You ran out of breath,
I never realised you'd given up.

We are hopeless lovers
Distraught in worlds of unimaginable alone-ness
And I only want you.
I only want you.
And you are not here.