It’s easy to lie to those you are around that never truly see you.
It may feel not right but it’s easy.
It’s easy to do what you need to do, to live to thrive.
I don’t know how I would tell you the truth about me anymore…

I never did think that you would believe me.
I never thought you would believe my biggest lie yet…
The lie where I say I’m fine, I’m alright, I’m happy…
You believed them.
Yet every other lie I told you sometimes even the truth you barely believed or you never believed…

I lie to everyone around me.
Though sometimes the truth does slip through my mouth.
You however never seem to notice.
You brush it off like it’s nothing.
You turn your head the other way.
You walk away and don’t look back…

I am a nameless face.
You know my face, not my name.
You think you know me when you don’t.
You don’t know anything about me.
I have seen more things than a war veteran.
I have done more than a ******* does without the money.
Yet still, I am a Nameless Face...

My face won’t tell you my story.
That is something you have to ask for.
I may not like my past, but I can’t change it now can I?
My past is apart of me.
And I am a nameless face…

I have been apart of this world for 16 years.
And I still am a nameless face.
No matter what I do.
No matter what I write.
This is not who I am.
This is not what I want to be.
I have never been one to just say what is on my mind.
I can’t say what I think about anything.
I don’t want to know any more than what I already do.
This life I live is truly going to **** me.
Even if I can hold on for one day one second.
Will it have all been worth it?

Congratulations you have won.
You have won the **** battle I’ve been fighting with you for years.
I hope you're happy now we’re both going down.
I’m going to drag you with me, and you don’t get a choice.
You see you destroyed what I held closest to me.
You destroyed you.
You have won I’m done…

You beat the animal and the beast that lives within me.
You don’t even care, do you?
I know this is foolish of me.
It’s foolish of me I don’t want to say goodbye.
I don’t want to say goodbye.
I don’t want to hurt anymore…
I’m tired of trying to please you.
You still continue to hurt me time and time over again.

Now that you have won, I just want to say I’m sorry.
I’m sorry I was such a *****-up.
I’m sorry and I’m sorry…
I’m sorry you had to be put up with all my *******.
Now I’m done…

‘The tribe has spoken’
‘It just has to be them’
‘Don’t worry, the pain will be over soon’
‘Just go! Leave! We don’t want you!’
‘Freak!’
‘WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!?’
‘CAN’T YOU SEE YOU’RE NOT WANTED!’

They say words can’t **** you.
Yeah, that’s true they can’t **** not on the outside.
They **** you slowly from the inside.
It doesn’t matter how strong you think you are, how strong you say you are.
They **** you and they don’t care.
Words are one of the deadliest things out there.
It doesn’t matter who you are.

There are words that can **** you and the things they do with the words too will destroy you.
I don’t care how old I get or how old you get.
I don’t care who you are.
I don’t care why you do what you do.
I only want to know why.
Why hurt me?
Why hurt the ones who have stood by you when you were on your knees trapped underwater; not able to breathe, not really living.
Why hurt them?
Don’t you know that the ones who hurt you are the ones you hold so highly? Can’t you see they are still hurting you?

Though I do guess all dark minds do think alike.
I guess your mind turned dark some time ago now.
I was just too blind to see it.
I guess nothing like that matters now, does it?
You are on your own.
I’m done always coming second in your life and for you.
I hope you got what you wanted, my dark mind…

They say when one door closes another one opens.
Well, then why is every door I go through one door I can’t get through the next one?
Why can’t I go back as others do?
I’m forever stuck and I can’t get out.
I’ve been trying for so long to get through any door at this point, but I’m stuck and I’m stuck good.
I know there is a door there, it’s just invisible or maybe I’m just blind..?

I want out, I want to be happy just like you are.
I want what you have; a happy life no worries, someone who asks you if you’re okay when you’re even the slightest bit sad.
I envy you. I envy so many of you and don’t even seem to realize it. Why?

I tried so hard to fit in and pretend to be happy for you.
In the end that’s all, I was doing, pretending to be happy so you could think everything is perfect.
When in all reality it’s not!!
I fight every day just to put on a smile and fake everything you see and think is happy, it’s a lie.

You must be used to those by now coming from me, right?
The lies that leave my mouth, after all, there are thousands upon thousands of them, some I hide well I guess and others I don’t…
Or maybe the ones you figured out I wanted you to figure them out.
After a while, too many lies and you feel a little overwhelmed.
It’s not like I can’t handle feeling overwhelmed, it's just that I got too tired and I couldn’t take it anymore…
I’m sorry for this I truly am…

Chem is trying, I am Chem for now
Haunting
Exhausting
Maybe don't need it
I'm failing
Stupid than the rest
Trying
Receding
You're laughing

I'm not "smart" like them.

I'm not "bright" as them.

I'm not "confident" like them.

I'm not "beautiful" as them.

I'm not "someone" like them.

Can you just accept that?

I don't like crying myself anymore

-Said myself in the mirror.