Until the age of 10,
I never knew what "****" meant.
Our teacher had used the exact word
Instead of "****** *******" during our
Science lessons (though that part was more *** ed).
I never understood how you could
Just get pregnant and I, until then
Had been so afraid that if a boy kissed me,
Even softly pecking on the cheek,
I would wake up the next morning with
An unwanted newborn baby
Just because the boy kissed me.

Until the age of 10,
I knew there were videos on the internet that were
"Not for my age".
And so I always stayed away from the computer,
The television (okay, maybe not the cartoons)
And even the DVD stores.
That was until I saw him that morning
Lying in that blasted chair,
Eyes glued to the screen.
The plate in my hand dropped when I saw where was his.
I saw my first "not for my age" video.

Until the age of 10,
I never knew what a ***** was.
Sure, I'd seen it in essays:
Putting your hands out to navigate in the dark.
Yeah, I got that meaning, but no —
It's about the other meaning:
Touching someone else's privates for pleasure.

And it's illegal to;
Punishable by the law.
He shouldn't have stripped me and
Touched everything.
Shouldn't have.
Couldn't have.
Did not have the right to.
He shouldn't have groped me.


But I didn't know **** about that
Till I was 10.

asking a friend what they like about a certain someone is..
like asking to identify exactly how they like their coffee.
coffee.

that his lips can wake you up faster than any espresso; that his
body smells more rich and welcoming than the packaged beans.
they always say the beans are specific to the place they originate from, with a set smell and taste; and if you look closely, you can find those bits of culture hidden in the crevices of his body, and the distinct way his name rolls off your tongue.


and sometimes you lose your want for a certain brand of coffee; the taste becomes too bitter, no matter to the amount of artificial sweetener you spill into the mug, now causing your nose to wrinkle at the smell.

I saw reds,
Yellows,
Blues,
There was them,
Me and you,
Each of us,
Made of two,
Kept on falling,
Falling through.

Into the lense,
it all must bend,
Every start,
shifts to an end,
Heart and mind,
Begin to mend,
When colors
Dont cease to blend.

Purple dreams,
And blue notes,
Singing out
our orange hopes.

Green leaves,
Long to last,
Brown ones,
Of the past.

Violet,
Indigo,
Seem to be,
all we know,
Neon pink,
Says hello,
when it kicks,
stay mellow.

If All our eyes,
Just want to play,
Let my Kaleidoscope,
Save the day.

"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"

amidst the mountains
he did roam
to find much needed solace
at this healing home
the familiarity of the terrain
bought peace to his troubled mind
at this place the heavy clouds
he had shouldered
for a long time
were erased in the mountains
abundant sunshine
his mind was in need of repair
so he sought it out
amidst the kindliness
of the mountain's soothing air

My heart is so heavy,
as I walk down this street.
All I wish is to come home
and to have you to greet.

The spaces in between
my hands are empty and numb
and as I sit here longer
the emptier they become.

I look upon your side,
where your precious smile should be
And all I see in space
and a living shadow of me.

So here, I rest my head
hoping the time goes fast
And I close my eyes
and inhale the past

I smell you, even though it's been months
and I feel your skin smooth
as I snuggle in my pillow.

What would life be without my love?
My soul, my dreams.

What would life be without that simple kiss
Every morning
Every night.

What would life be without the simplistic beauty.
Without his green eyes.
Without his copper hair.

I could never imagine such a place
As I am sure it is far from fond
A place where I roam in darkness
And reach for you beyond.

So darling, know I suffer
Know that I feel as you do
And think of all the kisses I will bring
Once I am with you.