Escape
Can we please
Be released from the greed
Dip away from the world
Finally be at ease
Leave the gazes behind
Of all those who whine
Shut off the noise
Of the judging kind
Lets be in ecstasy
Without taking a pill
And do nothing
That's against our will
Create our dreams
And let our eyes beam
Trust ourselves
To find bliss
Take off the shelf
Our child's wit
Bask in the feeling
Of knowing your happy
Never be afraid,
of being too sappy.

Sometimes I don't even know if I'm sad,
If I actually want to be happy,
What if I actually want to stay sad,
What if all I'm doing
Is just because
I crave for

Attention.

That'd be really bad,
All the attention I'm already getting,
Is it not enough?
Have I really become that

Selfish?

All the little
Challenges
The people around me
Go through,
Have you really neglected them all?
Is it really because
You're depressed
And so you've
Wallowed up in this
Hole of depression
Cut off yourself from the rest of the world?
Or is this just

Intentional?

I don't even know
If i genuinely feel anymore
Or if all these thoughts
Are words from the devil.

I just hope
The people I love
Are fine,
Or more than ok
Hopefully.

It's just sad
That no one shares their problems anymore,
Worried they'll add on to mine,
When really,
It's doing
The opposite.

But it's my fault again
Isn't it?
For being sad in the first place,
For sharing the problems with you,
For bothering you
Time and time again,
It's all just me.

Me, myself and I.
Is that all that's in your mind?
What have you become?

Selfish ****.

Cigarettes are enticing
when they are inhaled between
the lips of a beautiful boy
with a perfectly crooked smile
and mysterious eyes.

But his smile is stained
with traces of nicotine,
and the puzzle in his eyes
is impossible to solve.

And when you kiss him,
you can taste the stale smoke
lingering on his breath;
the stale smoke that has filled his lungs
and left them black and tarred.

He says they’re nice
when you’re feeling numb.

So you take a drag
in hopes of filling your lungs;
filling your emptiness.
But it leaves you black and tarred
all the same.

**m.s.

Everything
is a trap.
Everywhere I go
the monster is waiting
to eat me alive.
The sensation starts
on the inside, in my
Stomach,
turning and churning.
It moves to my
heart,
causing a beat that could
be heard around the world,
gripping terror
speeding up the thumps.
From there,
It can reach my whole body.
My head,
whispering words of discouragement
My hands,
trembling and spilling everything.
My legs,
refusing to let me run
away from the monster.
And so
I go only where I am
safe.
I don't go out
because the monster that is
me
always knows where I am.
It's all in my head
which makes it harder to
fight off.  I have
no chance.
I will never
escape
this
trap.