I think the reason that life is so disorienting
Is because it's a little like
Driving down a road in the middle of the night
Doing 80
But the road has no streetlights
So all you can see is what's immediately ahead of you
And even then
You're moving so fast  
That sometimes landmarks don't register as important
Until they're already long gone
You just need to have some faith that if you keep going
You're not going to crash.

in class
they asked us
if we were
afraid of the dark

no i'm not afraid
of the dark that
fills my room
at two a.m.

i'm not afraid of the dark
that engulfs
underground caves
or the darkness
submerged deep in
the atlantic ocean

but
i'm afraid of the dark
that seeps through
every fissure
and crevice
of my splintered heart;
the blackness that
cascades through
my veins
and the gloom
that fills my lungs
(with no room
for oxygen.)

yes, i'm afraid
of a certain kind
of darkness:
the kind that can't
be illuminated
by a flashlight

I look for you everywhere,
even though I already
know where to find you.

Tonight was the first time I cried over you
It was nice outside and I just wanted to lay on the grass
And get absorbed into the ground
On the ride home I put on songs that I knew would make me cry
Like a doctor expertly re-breaking a bone
So it will cause less permanent damage
It's better when I'm the one inflicting it anyway
I could never bear to view you as the cause of pain

I saw you watching my car as I drove away
And wondered if you wished I'd stay