Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
A confession based on my experience as a new artist in the industry

1. Neighbours are always completely obsessed with me to a point that it actually destroys their own life. Their own misery puts them in ****. I was accused by one of the jealous neighbors that I am a lookalike of "Kenji King". Kenji King whom is my stage name. She was so obsessed and tried everything to prove that I am not Kenji King, just an impersonater and identity thief. To the point that she actually got charged for false accusations and ended up getting arrested. Her father whom went to prison with her had a heart attack and died.

2. Another neighbour, heard that I quit my career in the industry. Her husband was a creepy stalker who couldn't get my name out of his mouth. They had a fight over me cuz he was stalking me and she was upset that "he made me quit my career". She kicked him out.

3. Other people are stalking and talking about how im "gone off the rails"

Remember, everything is a projection, stay happy 😊

Hahaha, yeah **** this is my life
I've lost myself

It's been a while, but I really lost myself
I hate this **** city, but I had to come back here for a reason

I miss my friends, and I'm missing out on really good work opportunities 😪

I'm also missing out on my year end function.
But life really ****** me up to the point I don't even  have a place to stay in the other city.
ALONG WITH THE STALKERS THAT IM RUNNING AWAY FROM

60 BREAKDOWNS LATER...

I almost broke my hand from such a massive anxiety and asthma attack

This air is suffocating
I feel constantly lethargic and fatigue
I feel like I lost my liveliness

I've sunk down in severe depression

Thus city is haunting
I've never felt this unhappy in years

I need a place to stay...
I'm a dying corpse here
I'm hanging onto nothing, just pain
The girl I once knew, she wasn't there anymore.
I've lost myself in my pain, desperate inner pleadings.
Wanting help, but only getting help from the wrong people.
People who are, not good for my energy, me.

I see my twin infront of me, Alisha... Where are you?

Gone. I long for Independence, financial freedom. My eyes empty and dry.

I lost myself, in my desperation. My face cracked.
Save me
I WANT HELP FROM THE PEOPLE WHO KNOW AND UNDERSTAND ME

I AM ACCEPTED IN ANOTHER WORLD 🌎

I AM LOVED AND SUPPORTED...

HOWEVER , I FEEL LIKE I AM LIVING A NIGHTMARE IN THIS "REALITY" AWAY FROM MY WORLD AND PEOPLE.

HELP HELP HELP

PLEASE
PLEASE
PLEASE

I NEED TO GO BACK TO MY WORLD
Another daydream, just another nightmare
I shrug it off, sometimes it bites
Just maybe, I shall take my flights...

Someday soon, I will leave as I've been pleading in rage and anger.

Flip the page, this is not a cage

A lesson, I have a place to stay, Cosmetics, clothes, luxuries, a shower, eternal food.

But an uncle that hates me

I wish My freedom and Independence
I wish for My financial success
I wish to teleport to the people that love me

I wish to be what I was not looking
Burying myself in my lost tears, hopeless screams and cries for Help.

But nothing.
My thoughts have hit a huge jump
I am not waiting, I am being.

What can I do when I chose this family on earth?

I have to go back home
How?
Shall I ever be bestowed upon a life that taught me to grow....
In isolation, I froze
In a maze...
Teardrops as I rain, sparkles of iridescent fire 🔥

Birds speak , and I reach a place that is not known
Glazed upon the wilderness of apprehension and proximity

Restless, exhausted
Energetic and frustrated

When will I leave?
 Aug 2023 jdmaraccini
Monotone
i left the other day.
i packed my bags and moved out.
and that is when I realized
that home isn’t a place.
it’s you.
it’s our walks through the park
and our talks through the night.
it’s getting in trouble together
and getting out of trouble together.
home is us. home is our friendship.
I have no idea how to be at home when you’re not here.
 Aug 2023 jdmaraccini
Monotone
i used to always be too much.
i talk too much. i laugh too much.
but somehow i was also always too little-
i wasn’t trying hard enough.
however, truly i was never the problem at all.
i gave everything i could.
i changed for you.
and i am so happy to finally say-
the real me isn’t dead.
without you around i have started to see me.
i goof around with reckless abandon and
i hype myself up.
i am cocky instead of self conscious- who knew cockiness would ever be a positive?
i am so incredibly happy. and im proud.
i am so proud of me- because i’m me and i’m not you.
 Jun 2023 jdmaraccini
Kenji King
Isolation.
A dark place.
A cramped up room.
Empty pieces of sanity lying all over.
The walls, pale and thick.
The ache, heartless and as heavy as a brick.
Lying awake, eyes wide open, electrocuted in agony.
Senseless are my nerves, numb is my disposition.
Cold, my body shivers.
My pain concealed.
Left bruised.

Trust no one.
She said, voice grasp and low.

Elongated, fragmented, withered up in a lifeless skeleton.
Bones, shattered, cracked and hardly repairable.

In the darkness I call your name, I see no one, not a sound heard.
Headphones on, diluting and blocking all the extra background noise.
I wish...
But no one answers

Silence
Sweating but freezing, hot but cold.
Ice on fire.
My nightmares, to unfold.
Fast asleep in someone's dream to be woken unceremoniously at four fifteen,
the alarm clock does what it wants to do but usually, rings.

Thursday!
and it's
no surprise to me
why should it be?

I wonder if they are still dreaming and who is stealing the scene in what should and could have been.
Next page