I FEEL JAIL IN THIS BODY
I'AM GETTING SUFFOCATED IN THIS HOUSE
AND LOSING THIS ALL WORLD

I LOST MY DESTINATION
NOW NO WHERE TO GO NOR MOVE
THE THINGS I EXPECTED IT NEVER HAPPEN
THE THINGS I WANT I NEVER GET THEM

NOT IN THIS LIFE BUT MAYBE NEXT ONE
I SEE MYSELF BREAKING AND FALLING DOWN
NO ONE TO PIC ME UP NOW NOR
TO HELP ME

NOW I REALIZE
I HAVE TO DO THIS ALONE
I HAVE TO FIGHT NOT FOR MYSELF
BUT FOR SOMEONE

I HAVE TO ENJOY MY LIFE BEFORE IT GOT FINISHED FROM MY OWN HANDS........!

I want to say somthing
But i can't say
I feel something when am with you
But i can't explain
HONESTLY, with you
Every hour just spend like a minute
But without you my love
Every minute is an hour.

Why when we met a stranger I feel like know them from years
Why some persons are just like our shadows
Why some new relationships feels like so old
Thousands years ago the population of
This world Is 1 billion I guess
But after years were finally about to 7 billion

Some said that there is only one soul before
And we are billions of pieces of that soul
Maybe that’s why sometimes when we met a stranger
We feel that we’re already in a relationship without even meeting
Just like that stranger is one of our part
Because I think we both went far away when that
Thousands pieces of one soul got spreaded in this world

I met them in an unknown city
It feels like we just met and became friends
Maybe not friends but best friends
Our hobbies, likes, dislikes even though our habits are same

I love music and they sing so good
I love to eat and they cook so good
It feels like they have medicine of every wound
Well, I don’t believe “love at first sight” but
Sometimes this “connection” is adorable

From childhood we are use to those happy endings
But sometimes our endings just went on a crossroads and stop on it
There is peace when I met them, a feeling when I saw them
My heart became like a flower
Now I have freedom to  feel the wind and sunlight
And no fear that, that flower will grow or not

But now I have to go far
But even thinking about that how will I say that one “goodbye” its killing me a lot
At my last night in that city we both went on a long drive
Those unknown streets of that city like were finding something on it
Maybe were finding words to say what’s in our hearts
If not that then were finding words to say that “goodbye”

We both were talking bout our lives but then
They turn there car and went on a street were no voices no light
Only us and its like those thousands of stars are staring on us and
The moon is giving us new hope of love and life
They turn and look at me and said
“you know this is the only place were skylights are brighter then this land”

We both are looking at that beautiful sky
Those thousands of starts and one moon
That fours eyes and two hearts
We both don’t know the silence of that night turned into
A loud morning
.
.
Now its my time to leave
.
.
I know it in this short days in this few time
The way I felt I can never felt like that again
But our road of our lives were different
No reason but I want them to stay with me
But we both promised that “we will keep in touch”

My friends sometimes love,  hope, faith cant be fulfill
But when you feel that every moment that’s more important
The place of that person or that memory its in your hearts
And sometimes just because of the internet
They send me there peaceful voice to me and
I send them some of my poetries.

GIRL ASK BOY- HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE ME!?
BOY ANSWER- LOOK AT THE SKY AND COUNT ALL THE STARS.
GIRL REPLY- ITS DAY! ARE YOU CRAZY!
BOY- EXACTLY!! EVEN I DONT KNOW HOW MUCH DO I LOVE YOU!

I dont know
How she became
The paint of my life when
Everything is in black and white

I dont know
How you bacame the sparkle
Of my dull and tired eyes

I dont know
How you bacame
The sun of my days and
The moon of my darkest night  

Her pain pour out through my eyes
And this all happening at her behind
I am just afraid to tell
Because I can’t see my tears in your eyes

EVERYDAY NEW CHALLENGE
EVERYDAY NEW PAIN
EVERYDAY I GET HURT
BUT I CAN ONLY PRETEND
PEOPLE KILLING ME WITH THEIR WORDS AND WHAT I CAN SHOW THEM IS A SMILE. HAHAHAH

A FAKE SMILE.
WHICH COVER MY PAIN. like no one do.

a brother who care
But he never show

Who fight with you
Then always put smile on your face

Who says your not my sister
But always, be their for you.

I the one who use to be happy
Now the bright face feel lonely without sun
My neck will be always downward until you wont come here
Until u didn’t shine in my life

How can i trust
On God now!!???

Tell me. Anyone
Out there !!

Because the person
I had trusted was  
God for me...

DEATH.
I DONT WANT IT YET
I DONT WANT TO  DIE

BUT

I AM GLAD BECAUSE
I DIE FOR YOU
EVERYDAY.

I DON'T FEEL YOU LOVE ME ANYMORE.
I DON'T FEEL YOU LOVE ME.
I DON'T FEEL YOU LOVE.
I DON'T FEEL YOU.
I DON'T FEEL.
I DON'T.


*reverse it and read

SHE WAS TOO CLOSE
YET SOO FAR

WE  SHARE  
PAIN BUT NOT PROBLEMS

WE SHARE THINGS
BUT NOT HEART

SHES SO CLOSE TO ME
BUT I WAS FAR

SHE IS HAPPY AND
I WAS SAD
BECAUSE SHE CAN STILL
SMILE WITHOUT ME

WHAT IS LOVE?
LOVE. A word sounds just so peaceful and too beautiful itself but the love between us is it really love? Or just a feeling. I know very well that love is also a feeling but “its just a feeling”. I guess it just depends how big and how true your feeling is for that particular person or a thing. Now we all say that “am just too addicted to that person without seeing her/him I cant just live” but is that really true? A chain smoker is say that he/she love smoking. But inside do they really love it? NO RIGHT. Even outside there showing that they love that thing/person do they really love it from inside too? Do we really love them? Inside that chain smoker what to leave the cigarette but he/she cant why? Because they’re addicted to it. Just like we are addicted to a person. If one day you didn’t saw that person can you survive? Ask yourself why not? Answer should be yes! Yes you will feel incomplete, you just feel that something is missing but it does’nt mean that you will die. NOW IS THAT LOVE OR JUST A FEELING? A feeling right and FELLINGS NEVER STAY. LOVE. WHAT IS LOVE? When you look at a person is that love? When your eyes are begging to see that person but what you get is only tears. IS THAT LOVE? LOVE IS JUST LOVE. THERE SHOULD BE NO SPACES BETTWEEN LOVE, NO EXPECTIONS, YOU JUST LOSE YOURSELF. YOU ALREADY TO GIVE YOU WHOLE TO THAT PERSON AND THAT PERSON IS GIVE THERE WHOLE OF THEM TO YOU. LOVE IS WITHOUT SPACES. A PERSON CAN’T MAKE YOU HAPPY, AND CELLPHONE CAN’T MAKE YOU HAPPY ANYTHING IN THIS CAN’T MAKE YO HAPPY TIL YOU SAY THAT YOU ARE HAPPY. I’AM HAPPY NOT BECAUSE OF SOMEONE BUT JUST BECAUSE I LOVE MY SELF. I DIDN’T EXPECT FROM OTHER AND FROM MYSELF.

LOVE IS YOU NOT SOMETHING OR SOMEONE.

Today, she asked me.
Are you okay? Why are you sad?

I whispered
This pain am feeling right now
Its because of you
And i just give my everything
To you but
You didn’t let me in.
It hurt when i saw you with him.
I am falling apart
When you say “i hope he like me too”

I just want your happiness
And its okay i know it will hurt alot
But now no one cares.

SO WHAT!!!?

She gave me PAIN....

Her name wasn’t
SMILE...

I WILL FALL AT YOU
NOT SOMETIMES LIKE THE RAIN
NOT SOMETIMES LIKE SNOW
BUT
I WILL FALL AT YOU
JUST LIKE THE SUNLIGHT EVERYDAY
OVER AND OVER
AGAIN AND AGAIN
MY LOVE FOR YOU WILL BE
E
N
D
L
E
S
S

MY LOUD NOISE IN THIS SILENT NIGHT
I WANT TO PLAY, I WANT TO FEEL THE JOY
BUT THE NOISE OF THE DAY BOTHER ME AROUND

I GOT LOCKED IN THE PRISON OF THE NOISE
WHERE EVERYONE IS SHOUTING
NO CARE AND NO LOVE ANYMORE

I WANT TO LEAVE START MY LIFE AGAIN
BUT UNFORTUNATELY I CAN’T
BECAUSE AM LOCKED IN THE PRISON OF THE NOISE
NO MAJORITY AND NO LOVE

CAN SOMEONE HEAR ME?
WHEN AM SHOUTING AT THESE DARK NIGHTS
CAN SOMEONE HEAR THE LOUDNESS OF MY SILENCE?
BUT NOW NO ONE TO LISTEN AND NO MORE TO HUG

THESE NOISES HAD ALREADY BOTHER ME NOW
THESE NOISES ARE LIKE HELL
EVEN THO I CLOSE MY EARS AND PLAY MUSIC LOUDLY
NOTHING HAPPEN

I JUST NEED HELP
I FEEL LIKE HELL HERE

ONE THE FIRST TIME WHEN THEY BOTH MET
HE LIKE HER AND SHE LIKES HIM
AND IF YOUR CALLING THIS
“FIRST SIGHT LOVE” THEN MAYBE YOUR WRONG
BECAUSE AT THE FIRST SIGHT WE LIKE ANTIC THINGS TOO
BUT WE JUST PUT THOSE THINGS AT HOME JUST AS A
“SHOWPIECE”.

JUST BECAUSE YOU BOTH TALK EVERY NIGHT
EVERY TIME AND IF YOU CALL THIS “LOVE”
THEN MAYBE YOUR WRONG
BECAUSE JUST BECAUSE OF THE LONELYNESS
TWO STRANGER CAN TALK TOO

IF SHE SAW A BOY AND HOLD YOUR HAND
AND WHEN YOU SAW A GIRL AND HE HOLD HER HAND
AND YOUR CALLING THIS “CUTE JEALOUSY” AS LOVE
THEN MAYBE YOUR WRONG
BECAUSE WE KEEP BIRDS JUST TO PUT THEM IN A CAGE
NOT TO LET THEM FLY AWAY

AND NOW IF THEY’RE BOTH ABLE TO UNDERSTAND EACH
OTHERS FEELINGS THEN YOU CALLING THIS LOVE
MAYBE YOUR WRONG
BECAUSE WHEN TWO BEGGARS ARE HUNGRY
THEY BOTH CAN FEEL THEY’RE EMPTY STOMACH
BUT THEY CAN GIVE FOOD TO EAT YOU



IF YOUR CELEBRATING YOUR ANNIVERSARY EVERY MONTH
AND YOUR CALLING THIS “LOVE”
THEN MAYBE YOUR WRONG BECAUSE
LOVE NEVER GIVES A DATE TO EXPLAIN YOUR LOVE
IT JUST HAPPENS

IF SHE IS PART OF HIS ALL INSTA AND SNAP STORIES
AND YOUR CALLING THIS LOVE THEN MAYBE YOUR WRONG
BECAUSE YOU CANT LIVE LIFE WITH FILTERS AND SAVE THEM
WE JUST LIVE IT IN THAT TIME,  ON THOSE SPECIAL MOMENTS

BUT….

BEFORE TOUCHING HER BODY YOU TOUCH HER SOUL,
IF SHE SHOWS ALL HER HAPPINESS AND SADNESS,
BEFORE SHE GET NAKED, YOU NAKED YOUR ALL YOUR FEARS,
IF HER EACH ONE TEAR FELL ON YOUR SHOULDER,
AND SHE IS THE REASON OF YOUR SMILE,

THEN MAYBE, NOT MAYBE

IT IS LOVE….. AND IF YOU HAVE FIND THAT LOVE
JUST KEEP IT, NEVER LET IT GO
AND WHENEVER YOU GOT A CHANCE
WHEN EVER JUST TELL YOUR LOVES ONE
THAT “HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THEM”
TELL THEM EVERY MINUTE THAT
“YOU LOVE THEM” THAT

“I ALWAYS LOVE YOU ALWAYS”

There is no evidence,
Of the crime
She told me that
i did.....

But still
I was ready to
Surrender.

WHAT KIND OF LOVE IS THAT,
IF ITS NOT ONE-SIDED
YOUR HEART IS NOT EXCITED TO SEE HER

HAD YOU SAVED HER ALL PICS?
DO YOU LOVE HER MORE FROM DAY BY DAY?

HER TEARS FELL ON SOMEONE ELSE
BUT WHY MY SHOULDER GOT HEAVIER
SHE HOLD SOMEONES HAND BUT
WHY MY HAND START MELTING

IF SHE LOOK IN MY EYES I JUST CANT MAKE THAT
EYE CONTACT BUT WHY
WHEN SHE IGNORE ME I WANT TO TELL HER
BY EYES TO EYES THAT “IT HURT A LOT”

BUT

EVERYTHING U GIVE ME EVEN PAIN
I WILL JUST LOOK TO YOUR EYES
AND I HOPE THAT I CAN BE ABLE TO TELL YOU
EVEN ANY BIGGEST PAIN U GIVE ME ITS JUST TO LESS
THE HAPPINESS AND PAIN YOU GIVE ME
I AM THIRSTY FOR THAT PAIN FROM YEARS

WHENEVER I LOOK AT HER EYES I JUST FEEL
THIS IS HOME
THIS IS HOME

THIS IS DESTINY
MY DESTINY

I don know her
Name,
But yah
I call her
My love.

she said: "Your smile is what I adore.",
You smiled, and it all started,
"Im not happy anymore!",
So easy, you screamed and it all ended.

Selfish and one-sided,  
That's your kind of love,
Your kind of love,
Is not what I wanted.



I replied: Yes, i am selfish
just because when i saw that your sad,
i always cry,

yes, i am mean
just beacause when you smile,
it make my day

and its one-sided because,
you never do the same
which i expected from you and

it's not easy to scream
i scream thousands of time
but you can't even hear it once.

  But remember
"LOVE IS ALWAYS ONE-SIDED"
  I am selfish because
  ‎you never do the same
  ‎whatever i expect from you
  ‎and now am mean because
  ‎because no-one cares

  Thats why its one-sided
  ‎but you easily say that
  ‎"your kind of love
  ‎ is not what i want"