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Jay 1988 Aug 2017
Rosa Maria, just an ordinary girl for the city of Morelia
By day she sold hot food to the tradesmen who passed by her
To the tourists who traveled to see Rosa’s culture
Then go home rest her head in the creases of a pillow in a little house in Morelia
The tradesmen they would come and they would go, to her favorites she’d slip them some extra to take home
Eventually they kept coming back for more
But it wasn’t the hot food, they were coming for
Rosa Maria met this man who was 5 foot 8
His smile made her heart beat fast and her body ache
He never gave nothing much away
but met her from work each and every day
Grammar was something he was never good at,
But he talked the talk and that was all that he needed to get Rosa Maria
Then she no longer wanted fun
But some strong arms to keep her safe
The man with the kind smile he ran away
her solace she found in Santuario de Guadalupe
In the coming months beneath the Mexican sun
Rosa struggled along but it was no longer fun
She was with baby, the doctors say
She grew bigger and bigger with each day
They told her 9 months is all you have
Then you’ll hold this baby in your arms
But it’s a gift she didn’t want but was stuck inside
Now these nights she dreams of her smiling man and she cries
The bump that she once looked upon as a curse
Became the most sacred thing tucked beneath her shirt
Her skin stretched leaving less between them
She just lay there in her room making promises to him
Everything that was once easy now seemed harder to do
She placed her hands on her belly and cried
“everythign i do in life i'll do for you
so you can have a better life than I had
I’ll be your momma and I’ll be your dad”
8 months fly and the panic set in, each day she prayed to Mary for him
For the child to who she was a carriage for the last 8 months
Give me the strength Mary to be a mum
She was only about 8 and a half gone; the red stretched lines across her skin were long
Homage to the journey that together we made, before her eyes shut tight each night she still prays
she said I don’t remember what happened between those days
from my body my baby was taken away
Placed in my arms, your tiny palms reach out for me, do I have the strength to be your mum ? I’m just Rosa Maria
There’s a hollow way deep inside of me, a baby I’ve lost but before me I see
He’s lying and crying, he’s crying for me, But I’m not your mum, my baby’s still inside, I feel
The bump she used to carry had nearly all gone
But she wanted it back, there must be something wrong
Once more she cradled her baby in her arms, rests him gently upon the skin he used to call home
Lay her head back, and stroked his soft black hair
Kissed his lips searching for the love that’s there
In a small house with wooden floors and crumpling plaster walls
Dark clouds gather the rain hard it falls
In a small corner of Morelia
Jay 1988 Aug 2017
I sit on the carpet, examining my toys
I see them in little detail you could never understand
Sometimes you take me to places and I feel a little lost
deep inside crowds of people, I hold on to your hand
when we sit in waiting rooms, I still hear the ticking of the clock
people look at me different, because I hear things they can not
when life’s rushing past me slow down please I say
it’s like everything’s in slow motion, I just see things a different way
other children they play, I start backing away
they see blue, I see green, these kids are different to me
everything starts to change, can’t it just stay the same ?
when I close my eyes, my whole world comes alive
we go out to the park, I swing on monkey bars
other kids want to play, so I just walk away
talk to me all the time, but please don’t look me in the eye
I don’t know how to cope with this gift that’s mine
Please don’t judge what you see, I just need room to breathe
When I get confused I deal with it differently
I live in a world where I have my routine
Please don’t make any changes to what we did last week
Mummy please leave the light on there’s monsters in the dark
Other people can’t see them, but they don’t see what I see
Every day is a fight to conform to what’s right
and fit in with these people who are different to me
When we step outside just stay right by my side
I’ll try my hardest to fit in to society
When I take of my clothes its’s sock first, fold them up nicely, you know my routine
If I could lend you my eyes for just two minutes you’ll soon see
This world you think that you know, is not what it seems
Tree’s are people made out of wood, and the bath I’m in is a sea
They can laugh if they want, but they don’t see what I see
Wrap me up real tight, read a bedtime story
About a magical world where people are like me
I see things in such detail they could never understand
Until I drift off to sleep, please hold tight to my hand
I’ll wake up another day tomorrow new challenges will come
Please don’t look at me different I don’t hurt anyone
when life’s rushing past me slow down please I say
it’s like everything’s in slow motion, I just see things a different way
Jay 1988 Aug 2017
Broken shards of blue stained glass
Abandoned church, **** filled winding path
Sits all alone, on the hill overlooking the town
The old ***** plays
But no fingers are stroking the keys
Watch the moon push through the clouds
Figures swaying in the breeze
A green, rusty cast iron gate
Here he lay since 1908
And when the sun sets, and the birds find their nest for the night
The towns folk can hear
The sound of a midnight affair
***** music fills the air
They dance past headstones, then disappear
Look on through the gate where by day people come
lay flowers, wreaths, cry and then leave
And when they’ve all gone home, the moon light will shine
Spirits leave the earth and dance into the night
Have you ever heard the sound, that old ***** makes if you walk past give it a nod, then take your leave
The ladies dance with men
Old sweethearts united again
Beneath the shadow of the church every evening the same
snowdrops grow from the ground, an old man sits all alone
reading a book, to the woman who he had once loved
through sunshine, tears soon came
Knowing one day there will be no more pain
The sun sets, it all starts again
He puts his book down and stands in the rain
Watching a form emerge from the ground
A misty haze but still no sound
then the ***** plays, her human form she takes
He stares at her but she does not see
have you ever seen the sight on cemetery lane
where the spirits glide over and over again
they don’t know where to go, tortured, dancing souls
they just wonder around to the ***** playing
when the sun comes and the birds wake
the man watches his lover find her place
the misty haze rests on the ground
until silence is now the only sound
Jay 1988 Aug 2017
Pushing her soft hands through long jet-black hair
Sees her own reflection, into darkness she stares
Running her finger across the rim of her glass
Begging to be set free from decisions past
Over and over from the bar stool she stares at me
temptation burns me inside
Straight through the bottom of a half empty whisky glass
I see the pain that she hides

I’m just a man with a place down the road
You look real beautiful sat all alone
That ring on your finger doesn’t shine much no more
All faded like the smile you once had too
Take my hand and walk out this room
Let me strip you bare and carry your pain
A passionate embrace you can never explain

Somewhere in the city, was a husband
His wife was pretty, said he loved her
They had a daughter, and lots of money to buy nice things
She wasn’t at home, he was alone
Photographs of their wedding day
line the hallway
And on the coat hook one peg was empty
That wife was with me, money can buy you nice things
But can’t place love inside of that ring

He sits and he wonders where it all went wrong
That beautiful maiden asleep in my arms
Twisting his wedding ring round and around
Her shallow breath in my ears the only sound

Fly away, fly away it shouldn’t be this way you can live here in my arms
You only have one life you shouldn’t be his wife, set yourself free if you want

You wake in the morning and put on your ring
The smell of the autumn and songbirds of spring
You open the door only leaving your scent
In the hollow of the pillow where your body laid

Back home as she walks through the door, her head bows down
Her eyes meet the floor
One night of passion won’t fill that deep void
Of lack of affection from one that you loved
And the truth will come out in those words that aren’t spoken
And the guilt that you carry leaves you void of emotion

Now I walk these bars every night
Hoping that lovers will end up in a fight
And there will be a mark on her finger where a ring one did sit
And a place in her heart where mine will just fit
Fly away, fly away it shouldn’t be this way, she should be here in my arms
You only have one life, you shouldn’t be his wife just set yourself free if you want
Jay 1988 Aug 2017
From the second my eyes first saw you
Clouds parted, sun filled the room
The ice caps they melted away
There was so much i wanted to tell you, but i didn't know how to
The grass never looked so green
Even the flowers thought your beauty obscene
The most beautiful.thing i had ever seen
And i wanted to tell you but i didnt know how to
Yes i wanted to tell you but i didn't know how to
When i slept on those evenings before our lips met
You would haunt my dreams and i'd wake up screaming
And whenever i'd see you just walk down the street
I was humbled by the beauty of you
And i wanted to tell you but i didn't know how to
Yes i wanted to tell you but i didn't know how to
When i first felt your skin
It was like my heart was ripped from within
But i thought it a little cruel
That at 24 i'd had the best in life but had so much more to do
When you look at me with those hazel eyes
Rested in my arms i look at you and smile
I could smell your hair, it was different from my dreams
They never did you justice my sweet Louise
The world could be burning around us
But no matter, we'll lay here together and wake tomorrow
But then again i don't mind if we don't wake tomorrow
Because what if this is all just a dream
Then i want to keep you a little longer
So let's just lay here a little longer
Jay 1988 Aug 2017
David standing there watching his little angel child
Thomas was 3 and a half years old he looked up at David and smiled
“Daddy come here and play Daddy come sit on my boat”
David jumped in his bed and together across the oceans they floated
Daddy look at me I’m Captain Thomas, look at those giant waves
Don’t fall over board or they’ll wash you away into those darkened caves
In his room the two of them played, the daddy and the captain
Thomas fell asleep in daddy’s arms David tucked him in
Instead of walking away, he cuddled his boy and for a while stayed
Watching every breath that was made I could watch you forever and a day
He stroked the clothes on his back kissed the skin upon his neck
Rolled out of the bed kissed his son one more time and walked straight off the deck
The year was 1912; they’d built a titan of a boat a giant in the sea’s
Just for my darling Thomas, Mary and me
We don’t have much money, but  we’ll always have our dreams
We hear the sound of the engine and follow the titanic steam
Look daddy what’s that, it’s the boat I told you about
The one that’s taking us to that place we could only dream of, and the crowds all wave and shout
Here we come New York City we’re going to find our dreams
Leave behind the factory smoke filled skies and the filthy cobbled streets
I pulled out my ticket 3rd class, it cost every worldly possession I had
Staring down I see my blue eyed boy staring lovingly at his dad
I saw the look in his eyes, as he questioned which way should we go
But this floating city is a familiarity of which I do not know
Welcome aboard Mr Smith, we’ve been expecting you,
take your wife and child to the 3rd class deck room a hundred and twenty two
I held Thomas’s hand, the sheer uncertainty
in my mind I was also a child, but yet I’m twenty three
The first class man with a top hat, a cane and a beautiful wife,
Staggered among the 3rd class pilgrims to catch a glimpse of the other side of life
We found 122, Mary smiling; Thomas silently watches the walls of the white star line
We dine like never before, we never had no money
now we lay beneath millionaire kings, My god I love the irony
We spend our days, between the cabin and the sun,
Daddy, where did you say we were going?
4 unholy nights, a cramped room,
Thomas clings on tightly like the stars to the moon
We’re going somewhere special, somewhere we’ve never been!
They call it New York City, my boy the city of your dreams
It’s late on the 14th; nearly the 15th I take a walk, along the floating streets
Deserted deck floors and empty bars, water covered the empty seats
I gaze up at night, the sky was filled with stars,
a tiny voice in my head says Never forget who you are
Just then the earthquake came; we’ve hit an iceberg they said,
Blank looks in doomed eyes Mary and Thomas asleep in their beds
We’re in this field on fire, but there’s no water to put it out,
we’re about to be eaten alive, where no one can hear our shout
I hear some first class man, They say the ship is sinking,
Get your wife and child and find a boat to get in
Leave the 3rd class here, they aren’t needed,
maybe some women and children but the men are better off dead
Half the boats now gone, I’m back to room 122,
Thomas is crying he’s hungry, Mary asks what we’re to do
I place my hand on her Thomas is still shaking and crying
I’m scared daddy, someone said we’re dying
I close the cabin door, Thomas you’re the captain
Jump on the bed, he pulled the covers over and let me in
Mary darling you’re serving drinks, so let’s have one,
Water crawls through the door, she smiles, “it won’t be long
Look daddy it’s real, I’m really sailing,
the hysterical mothers from first class, a haunting wailing
Go on Thomas you’ve got this, I’m so proud of you,
Sit straight daddy and I’ll get us home, In the air was violin music
Water coming closer to the mattress where they played,
Look daddy I’m really doing this, for our boy Mary cried and prayed
It’s getting cold now, “we’ll be alright won’t we daddy”
just keep driving us home Thomas just cuddle daddy
In the end the three of them, jumped on the play boat,
the ship that could never sink, could never float
Cabin 122, that one fell silent,
the creaking of the wood, the metal giant bent
The ocean bed became a graveyard for the 3rd class;
the first class survivors to the dead each April 15th raised a glass
12000 feet to the bottom, there lies a captain,
3 years was all that he saw of this world he lived in
He wasn’t born with the privilege of the rich and famous
But he had the love of his daddy, and in his arms forever he lays, until the earth reclaims us
In 1985, the deep sea divers found us
Sent there machines to the depths of the ocean
Parted the muddy waters around us
A light shone through the round window
Thomas’s hair still golden, dancing in the water, caught in the glow
The divers said a prayer for the sight at which they saw
Me and Thomas still huddled together on the bed, Mary kneeling on the floor
They turned off their lights and left me with my son and bride
Rose back up to the sun thought of my Thomas and they cried
There’s a boy down there, lying in his daddy’s arms
There’s a woman still praying on her knees
Surely there was room for that child and his mother
But there they lay together in the darkness of the icy sea’s
Jay 1988 Aug 2017
The stars burn above the canvas tent, and the rain clouds gather over
The earth is soaked. the water fell into my midnight resting shelter
felt like I was twenty but i was seventy-three, in my youth I’d been a soldier
The federal army had no use for me no more, now i dream of what to do when i get older
I left home many years ago
My wife when asked how’s Johnny she sighs “I don’t know”
every so often arrives a battered and weathered note
and it says my dear I’ve not forgotten you
I’d walks for miles over the desert floors and roads that climb those mountains
Rode ******* through the deserted ravines and straight through all those kids who doubted
One night in July, the sky was bright over the Californian sands
I was tired; fell to my knees and my eyes kissed the land
The vultures were swarming in the heavens above, but below the cotton clouds
Ready to take their pickings but there ain’t much meat on these bones, and my slow breathing, the only sound
In the tiny village i left, years ago, i promised Mary riches and gold
Now as i lay there with the sun piercing through this skin those dreams are growing cold
In the straw roofed house, I once called home, Mary’s cooking dinner, all alone
And every so often arrives a battered and weathered note that reads my dear I’ve not forgotten you
I dream of Mary in her beautiful rags, the house is falling, my son needs a dad, last time I held him he would fit in my arms but then the army came and got me
They took me away from all that I knew, I earnt my money, I played the fool
Women would greet me in each town I stayed
Mary, my heart was faithful, it was my hands that strayed
I don’t ever know if I will see you again, I lay here in the dirt tracks waiting for the rain
I spent all my money in bars and sacred places, women offer beer, dressed in black laces
But I promised way back before I went away, I don’t know how long I’m going but I’ll be back home some day
Pull up with pockets weighted with gold, buy you some nice clothes, fill in the holes
That let the water fall through our roof and roll across your cheeks as you sleep
The fire’s burning, the air is cold, my heart is young but my body is old
The vultures are swarming, the moon hits the skies, the night is on fire, the days sun dies
I lay here waiting to be found, my earthly form imprinted here on the ground
Mary’s at home, unaware, then she hears a sweet whisper in her ear
I said my dear I’ve not forgotten you
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