Its sad to see
People of my generation
Looking for material things
Leaving love abaft
And not looking back.
Eyes dead forward
Never in the past
Not looking for their mistakes
While they dead in they face
Minds are to abstracted
Steady distracted
Envying material things.
The pain that it brings
When these things
Are lost in a fire.
It burns my heart to know
They think they bought
Their soul, but never
learned
True
Happiness.

The moon lights the sky while cars past by
The trees blow in the wind
My stomach drops again
Building blocks block the clock Time stops
This distance hits me in an instant
Then my mind locks
Descriptive videos
Showing the funeral
Of all that is innocent
The ones that lived and died
Kind hearted minds
But once again were stopped in time
So a resistance to change the past
Won't last because the future won't come
Effort to persevere the present is persistent
So in a minute a month would have lasted
Because we can't me move forward
And we can't go backward
Our extortion of those who have
Abundant misfortune
Has finally found our worth
They've bought back their turf
Less than pennies we're worth
Our actions have hurt them
So our souls are worthless

The very thought of this world brings me to my knees.
For I am tormented by all the wrong I've done and the grief I've caused.
I am afflicted with the agony of others.
I am able to discern the darkness in the hearts of mankind this is my affliction.
It brings great knots in my stomach as if my very inside were being crushed with great force.
Tears appear in the wells of my eyes as my throat swells from my attempts to refrain from screaming.
To observe the insolence and ignorance of the my loved is to feel my very bones burning under a fire until they begin to crack.
My people bring devastation to my heart.
Yet I endure these pains all the while remaining wise and fearing anger for with anger comes stupidity.

The love i give to her. Once again i think of her
If only she of thought of me, I wonder if she thinks of me?
More than bruised by my past, cut deep. Tho, I know this love is placed deeper within her.
I envision her not just in my future, but happily living with her until the end that’s forever.
Finding myself presently wishing she was present with me. Or that her presence was abundant in present day and time.
Previously my days were spent wishing i had more time with the girl I was previously with.
Feelings for that girl were prevalent in my heart, but they didn't help the mend cracks at all.
Tho, she looked past the fractures and fought to find how to mend my broken heart.
Ripping past infractions and infringements pitting me against her clean out of me.
How these thoughts of her entreat me, tho, I won't let myself be defeated.
Time strives to lead me away from her to break my devotion to her.
I will not abdicate my rights to her, so I endeavor and think of her.
If only time would past so I could meet her and forget my past.
Meet my future so I can my abandon my past.
I know if I meet her this love will last.

In my heart you are found.
It is beating to the tune of your drum.
Slowly when your away from me,
But excels when you draw near.
Your touch is like a jolt to me.
Passionate about pleasure you are.
Passionate about you I am.
Giving you pleasure with my hands
Making you move with my touch.
Hot and sticky I make you.
Warm and dripping you are.
Your mouth moves with no sound
When my hands caress your skin.
You feel my shaft and tell me
To plunge deep inside of you.
Your toes tingle when I
Brush pass your wet rose.
So fragrant and warm,
Curiosity it causes with in me,
And my tongue slides to find
Juices with in it.

Yelling free my Negus.
They just be trying to eat, and make a living.
Now the 1% making a killing,
because my brothers stuck in private prisons.
We dying in these streets,
Crying behind steel doors.
Use your mind while its still yours.
Knowledge makes a man unfit to be a slave.
A quote the government still ignores.
They adore our culture,
Steal all they can from us like vultures.
Savages that only care about annual profit averages,
And the status quo.
Just know we gone make it through this sadness,
Learn your history so we won't repeat this madness.

  *
Twenty-four hours in a day,
Though these nights feel longer as I lay.
Like an orange I wish I could peel off my face.
I count each breath, while my heart begins to race.
Coffee and lectures get me through the darkness.
This ride of emotions got me looking car sick.
Knots tied in my throat. This Boy Scout’s lethargic.
Steady sipping cough syrup to numb the harshness.
Combing through empty bags for crumbs,
Long periods of sobriety make me feel like a lunatic.
It’s crazy how you can feel homesick for years.
A *** at heart, my home is flooded with tears.
I’ve seen the light I always feel my death is near.
Headlights glaring and I’m stuck staring like a deer.
Dear world,
Will you miss me?
Will the Grimm Reaper kiss me?
Shrouded in darkness could this be the abyss I see?
On my knees praying it’s the sun I see.
On my knees praying I see a son whose just like me.
Dear Darkness,
Will you ever leave?
Am I walking through this life blind,
Because of you or because of me?
Will I see the light before my son sees me?
Is this pain that ails me hereditary?
Is it necessary?
Dear God,
Will you ever bless me?
Cease to test me?
Am I Job?
Will ailments continue to infect me?
If scientist dissect me will they find out why my heartbeats?
Dear Son,
You are my future heartbeat.
I will walk in darkness if it helps you see light.
It’s not all about strength in the psychical.
You can’t always see might.
It’s the fire in the dog that controls its fight.
I have no questions for you.
I only question If I’m doing right. *

As the rain clouds retract themselves
and the blue skies bring us light
the loneliness recedes to the back of our minds.
Depression is placed with Happiness, smiles,
and enlarged eyes with elated minds.
Until the lightning strikes the ground again
and thunder shakes the earth.
Until our loneliness brings us back to earth
from the cloud we're residing on.
Until "The Storm."

Ride or die
I try  to survive 
And remian  vibrant
 But they smear the lines 
Blurring my life with things 
Set against me
Making negetive things
Represent me
So ride with me
On this voyage 
To the netherworld
Die with me in this world
So we can live happy in the next world
Be my right hand when there's nothing left
When my time is next
When our way of life is two complexed 
Stay with me when my morale is exhuasted 
My pain is extensive,
Visions of my death are vivid 
Ride with me, Die with me
Let the two coinside 
Our bond be tight
Twisted and intertwinded
Until our minds combine
Bring your heartbreak
I'll bring my pain 
We can ride with eachother
Until the end of our days

Black and Grey waters
Fathers the hope of its followers
As this Wave of inspiration
Crashes into the page, Sights of past shadows
Morph in to words, so cold and shallow
You reap what you sow, so I know my hope is shallow
So I sit and I pray with this page in front of me
Arranging these words hoping they expand the days in front of me
Live life on the dangerous side, Under the influence and down to ride
Mask on his face like a sad black clown, life’s rain seems to make him frown
Pour up drink to calm him down, Roll up smoke just to make him smile
Mary Jane seems to stick around,
Stimulate your mind
See beyond the clouds
Vibrations of sounds
Sing the song of the
Sad Black Clown

Spinning..Spinning... I'm Dizzy
Ready to fall,
But I can't see the ground.
Voices in my head,
But I can't see a crowd.
Momma Momma,
Have I made you proud?
I made it to twenty-one,
But you can't see me now.
Can't fight this feeling
Can't hide this frown
Should I bite my tongue
Or rep my town

My Life
Spiraling...Spiraling
Down through the cosmos,
My life's odor is foul like halitosis
My heartbeat screams through the Galaxies
Paying my long distance
Soul searching fees.
In hopes that I can find you before my spirit leaves
In hopes that I find the right moment,
And I happen to seize it.
Just take my hand and squeeze it
Walk with me
While you tell me everything
Your pleased with,
I pray to the most high
On my knees quick
I have this stabbing pain
In my heart,
And the Dr's can't seem to ease it
I'm begging for peace of mind
I'm beating vocal cords
Making supplication to the nation
Wishing my agony
Would finally take a short vacation.

Sometimes I feel empty
Like my torso is Vacant
Though I've learned to live with it
So I appear to be complacent
You can't walk in my shoes
Our lives aren't adjacent
Your life's problems
Are only a day of my obligations
So you don't "Feel......Me"
That phrase is tasteless.

I wouldn't wish this
On my worse enemy
I know they can't take it
Can't stare in the mirror
At the reality I'm faced with.

No this isn't karma
That philosophy is basic
I don't want be here
But My Momma told me I can take it
My sister said in this life I can make it
So i'm climbing this tallest mountain
Just to tell them I made it.

A sunflower you are.
Brightening anyone's day who glances at you.
A seed of joy you came from a seed of happiness you instill in those you love. Uniquely colored with an inspiring personality you've become.
Your curves have befriended you from slim to round in all the right places.
Your body has intoxicated me.
It is beauty in the eye of any beholder.
To touch is the dream of every man, but to love is mines alone.
Your seeds of love are many in number yet all I needed is one.

Tension builds, stress gets complex
I bet that they bet that I'm next 
To compress and convulse 
To implode then explode
Once I get in this mode
Everything starts to blow
The darkness grabs and takes hold
My mind, I hold it so close
Then that girl came back home
The love just took over
My anger implodes
My vexations no longer 
I looked in her eyes
Could you guess what I told her
Her eyes tamed my rage
She wrapped her arms
Around my shoulder
Kissed me on my lipsT
hen the Heavens came over

The things Ive seen have brought about the things I aspire to be. Yes she inspires me to be all I can be. Tho, my actions are unpleasant today. I hope she understands tomorrow. I hope she comprehends my actions and statements like the lady that's long left this nation. She knew me better than me now no one can see this pain that afflicts me. The voices that drive my mental, insanity, is the answer to the question they haven't asked. Long ago in past I meditated on my sanity in hopes the facued of being normal would last. Self medication takes place when the ice hits the glass and the taste of ***** and codiene numbs me face. Tho now when I see her face feelings of love take place. I love this girl tho it hurts me. I see the anguish in her face sadly I have placed it deep inside of her heart. Though one day like alchemy I'll make love from the pain. I wish to extend my days with her, because I can't explain the extent of my happiness when I'm with her. Tho she's yet to truly know me the different personalities within me. The dreadful things I've seen, the caged beast that lives in my words, the worries of life, the twist and turns of my brain, the differences in each name. Mentally my brain is split in three, tho, physically there's only me. So she cannot see; that the poet brings peace to me, Jay is a few pieces of me the good the bad and the ugly that's what most people see, Jaykhuan is at the root of me the grimey, the dreams of people shooting at me, worse than the ***** I'm expected to be, and still smarter than the ****** trying to flex on me. So you see Jpoetry mends these words of pain sewing them on a string to stitch beauty in my brain. Jay always escapes but I hate for Jaykhuan to get out his cage. The criminal who hides the pain. Tho at night she soothes me happily. I've finally found what happiness can be her life and family bring happiness to me. So motions of devotion grow strong in my heart, but my heart hurts because I've caused pain to her. Tho willingly I'll endure to ensure that our lives will be drawn out successfully. I'll endure her pain the silent tears in her name, and hope the grand scheme of things won't turn her away. The drugs in my vains take away my pain, but can't numb the disappointment in her face. So I hope, pray, and believe that she'll learn me so she can see, can understand the actions that overtake me are not just for me but for us. It breaks me when her anger makes her cuss. Tho for us I'll remain tough so down the line this love will bring love to both of us