Favoritism, what a great way to treat kids
Pick your favorite, forget the others
Make them hate themselves
Let them cry alone in the night

The twinkle in the eyes,
The twinkle that shows pride
How that mere thing can be something for which a man yearns the most
He'll never have that twinkle
He'll never make anyone proud

Pretend they don't exist
They start to believe it
They begin to bleed just for someone to notice
No one loves enough to stop the bleeding

Insult after insult
They hide the bruises
The cracks it makes on the soul
No one sees them drown in their depression

Parents leaving when children start to die
Returning to find the undead
The gods of the past
The protectors of the young
They are not God
So ask Him for forgiveness

Notice who they've become
See their marks
See that fire that makes them fight
The pain didn't shatter them
Just left them forever scarred

You ruined my childhood
Set the road for adulthood
You showed no mercy
Expected me to feel no pain

You messed up my thoughts
Didn't care that this war was pushing us apart
You had no remorse
Thought I wouldn't suffer

Favoritism was your way of raising us
You had no idea the blade had taken me
Wanted me to not complain and agree
Wanted me to live without a heart

You drank most of my life away
Couldn't see my pain and blood stained shirts
Alcoholism was your answer; you led me to my crutch
Blood is the price paid to not feel pain

But now the years have made you weak and soft
Think that you can treat me the same but expect more
Don't you see that the gap is too wide now?
You've taken my innocence, heart, and soul

Stripped me of my humanity and yet you expect and angel
The least favorite and strongest of the three was always me
Now you hope for your son back
Your pain has molded me into a monster

Keep on denying me, lie all you want
All you're achieving is losing the only only person and ever knew and loved you
You're lies and secretes will come to the light. you've lost your son, you lost his love

Now you demand love and compassion
Don't care for the struggle I'm suffering
You fear what you've created, you fear me
And its my turn to be selfish, it's my turn to end my life
You brought this on, you're the one to blame

This blissful ignorance is what blocks the pain
It shuts the mind and turns me numb
Free of all the blame


The perfect world is what my unconscious creates
A barrier of thoughts
Blank stares to freeze the insults

As it slowly shuts itself out,
It sacrifices itself to shield me
Losing control and loosing myself in this sea of nothingness


Insult after beatings
No marks are left
The blades forgotten lost deep in the blank abyss
No new scars to show the spoils of internal war

Just this broken being,
Frozen near the edge
When will I rid myself of this hell
Of this halo of ignorance

This fog crawls forward
Engulfing me in the safety of its arms
Slowly dying to shield what's left of this shell
Dying to save someone who's already dead

Sometimes we wish to forget, to not remember those faces that no longer want us. We hate being part of past that they want to hide. Hate being thrown away as if our feelings don't matter. We try to shove those memories away because we know that we are the only ones who treasure them. But in the end, we're just left with bitter memories of happier times.

I really needed you,
But you weren't there
You said you were my friend but you left me

I lay here broken and shattered, who can I let in now?
Who will hold the pieces together?
We made promises of eternity, tied our souls
But somehow you managed to break your oath
When things got rough you packed your things and left
Leaving nothing, not a trace
Now here you are once more, laying flowers on my grave
Why have you returned? You didn't care when I cried your name, Didn't look back when you heard me shatter

You already broke your promise, allowed me to swallow those pills, cared not when I slit my veins open
Yet here you are at my grave, and all you have for me are flowers
I thought you were my friend

Look into my eyes
See the pain locked away
Know why I hide so much

Feel my scars
Don't you sense the anger that split the pain?
Understand why the silver lines stay

Find me in the woods
Witness each silent tear fall,
Know why I'm so cold to the world

Feel my heart
Can you see the cracks caused by the chains?
Now you know why I must be so strong

Look into my eyes
See the fire and determination inside of me
Know why I hope and fight so much
Know why I'll never give up

It's when my emotions are pure and vivid that I need to write before I need to bleed. I'm here sitting in front of the fire, watching the flames flicker; it consumes the wood. Just how I wish to die, my souls engulfed and I cry a silent cry. The tears you can't see, are buried deep inside of me. My horrid past, why can't it burn and never exist? I hate my life, my mother I lost her. She doesn't want me; hates the being that I've become. She can't accept me. My brothers who I raised, who in a way became my sons, will I ever see them? If I don't love my mother, at least I know that I do love my brothers.
I wish I'd never spoken, that I'd still be in my lonely prison within me, I wish I'd done what my mother wanted; after all, she's just as misunderstood as me. She's innocent, the cruel world has just confused her. But does that justify the hell she's put me through? does it erase the tears I shed, the abuse I lived?
My old crutch the blade, it tantalizes me with sweet relief. But that's part of the past.
Part of the hell I now live in. The battle's inside, no one knows but I'm at war. I'm being torn apart, but this time, it's on my own accord. what do I want? My old life with my mom and brothers? And to have to weep the silent tears and fight the blade? To hold back, take refuge deep inside? Or Move on, leave all of them behind. To start again, alone?...
The fire it burns bright, the heat, it's so pure. Death I see in the embers; life reborn in the ashes; the fire comes to an end. Where does that leave me? A troubled teen staring at ashes? Or a fool that doesn't know how to live again; awoken from the living dead and to speak among the living. I take a gulp of air. Of life, I'm alive and though I've suffered, time to light a new flame. Make it bright and hot. Let it burn and light the night. To rise from the ashes and Burn Bright.