All I could do is believe
That I could achieve and accomplish anything
It drained me with every step
I lost my way
My life changed
I couldn't do this anymore
I needed parafillia to survive
It became too hard too live
To easy to want to take my life
As the thought came
The smile walked away
But it changed the playing field
I had been alive but never lived
If I jumped off a bridge
Or ran into a speeding car
As the thought took over my mind
It made me see,
how the life of people would be better without me
as I cried everyday till my tearduct dried up ;
as I woke up each day
I wished I had died the night before ,
just you wait ,
as I thought that way I started feeling as a burden more and more and more
I reached into my innermost self
as I entered it was dark
then I saw a little light ,
I moved toward the light
,it was so dark that you could cut the darkness with a knife ,          
  I started searching for my soul as I reached
where it should be it was gone ,
I was a ship without a captain
I went ahead to find my heart ,
the closer I got I could hear the heartbeat
I smiled saying at least I have a heart
when I went into my heart all I could see was a stereo playing the heartbeat sound,
it was also empty,
it turns out I am an abomination ,
I was dead but thought I was alive
my soul and heart left without saying a word ;
how could they hate me so
as I fell to the ground and lost what little sanity I had left
all I could think of was oh the insanity
Oh the beautiful insanity

If there was a story in the beginning
I am the storyteller
I would want to show you
What I have seen ,
It all start with a Nubian princess with her brown eyes and a voice that will bring the gods to shame
If for anything,it was the proudest moment of my life
She had a smile that would send a jolt of electrifying passion down your spine
And when she speaks to you,your knees will weaken
She became my object of obsession
But I never existed in her orbit
All I could do was watch
If she spoke to me
Nothing would matter
nothing matters
when she's here
I released endorphins just by been in her mere presence
I was addicted to her
If I could wish for just a thing
I would want her to notice me
I would want her to love me
All I can do is watch
As this work of art
Glimmers and glows
As all I do is wish
My heart wishes the same
All the heart of an addict can do is want more
would my addiction ever be quelled

It was never easy
It was never hard
It was never white
It was never black
Nothing is as it seems
The truth is only true ,as long as you believe
And a lie could be the truth
You would rather not exist here
If anything was
It could not be
But could it be ?
If it wasn't
Then it could be
But then a mad man rambles
And nothing is ever a lie
It's just the truth told differently
No one could see
What is when they cannot be
I have always seen
But never been a part if
I was among but never belonged
It could have been
Yet it never was
I was a boy
Now a man
Yet the difference is I am never here
I could never belong
Because I am a cell
Not just any cell
I am nothing and will cease to be
Before I do I will try to live
If I could I will live

There was a time
Where I was nothing
I was no one
I was faceless
I had no life
I did not exist
I was only a figment of people's imagination
Yet I yearned to exist
No one knew my name
But they told my story
As it got corrupted over the years
I was forgotten
And the devil gave me a deal
Become a monster
So you make them regret forgetting you
I took the deal and became a nightmare
An abomination that mustn't be named
When am named
I materialise in form of their darkest fears
And i only let one survive
So my name lives one
they can't forget
When they mention my name
The sky turns black as my world merges with theirs and the last thing they hear is
Snip,Snip,Snip
As their heads rolled off

It was the truth
That wasn't to be said
The truth not to be believed
Many men have killed
Many have been killed
many more will ****
For the truth
Yet who knows the truth
Was it real ?
Was it fiction?
It was just surreal
Could it have been ?
If the truth Was from the books
Then the men who read it lie
And the man who listens insane
Yet everyone needs to belong
Needs to believe
And so they take in everything
And take out nothing
They give their lives
For a cause
They never understood
And when confronted
They bare their harmless fangs
Because they see the "Truth"
And fight in disbelief
As insanity sets in
The "Truth" becomes true
Then all men know insanity is second nature to all