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What the ants built overnight
I can destroy in a minute.
What the ants teach in a second
I can never learn in a lifetime.
°°°
A sparrow flying free
blossoms before it's shot.
It falls like a flower from a tree.
Then the petals were feathers
warm with blood.

Then maybe that is happinessβ€”
always a sadness
away.
Man starts dreamingβ€”
greedy dreaming.
He begins to burn
a different kind of fire.

His heart like an ember
can be fiery and fervent
can burn a silhouette
a shadow in love
a ghost in grief
all in his deep shades
of crimson blue.

Here he is
here he's been
here he will be
burning memories–
photographs and things in pages
curling into black
the stench of obliviun
is one with the smoke
that is how he builds
a different kind of fire.

Plunged his hand
it shines in his very eyes
dancing gracefully
like a wild gloriosa
rustled by the winds
restlessly,
like a scarlet swan
in a lake of stonecold ashes,
as if the only thing at peace
in a holocaust of memories.
Then stares back
before it sways back
into being the ordinary flame
it was.

If he would listen
the fire has a pulse
a flicker beat
almost like his.

The flame did not burn him
as if it has always been
a part from within
as if he was made out of it
as if it was made out of him.

He felt the soul of the fire.
It's pulseβ€”

felt like home.
Pyromania: the obsessive desire to set fire to things
Sometimes the questions
are already the answers.
But I wonder what you feel
as we left apart,
back to backβ€”
only falling leaves in between.
to the ones who can relate ~
Even a full moon would shatter unto the surface of
a dark, deep sea.
Then what light could go through
when a deeper darkness
is in me?
On a bus late at night, while the fullness of the moon warped as it reflected on the sea, I think of the darkness in every one of us.
Mother look.
Maybe I know where
all the fallen stars have gone
and where the falling stars go.

Maybe in the undersea,
becoming who they really
want to be.
°°°
When wading on low tides, I never forget to hunt for newface starfishes and take photographs of them for keepsakes.
°°°
This concept may be out of the box and/or bizarrely new. The metaphor or maybe the connection of a star and a starfish in this might be not as striking but I hope it does leave a good impression. At the same time, I wrote it in my perspective as a child so to best reminisce how I used to think about falling stars and starfishes. It's like writing a provoking memory, to me. And I did use to imagine the falling stars and starfishes (both things fascinated me) metaphysically connected and related when I was young. It's not a concept I've made up now, it's a thought that really came in mind at the very moment I was at sea with my mother in my childhood. It's a memory I really want to honor and write something about. Somehow, I also wanted to convey this concept as something that would be bizarrely relatable to me, something I, or if by chance, you as well, can reflect on in terms of my/your relationship to my/your mother. On the first line, "Mother look", I wanted it to convey a sense of expression entirely describing those instances when I tried to explain myself or something I think about to my mother and seldom end up in arguments. Then the thought of relating falling stars to starfishes can be childlike. I think of it in a sense that it is a figure. It's exactly what a mother would commonly think when she argues with her child over something, she would think what her son/daughter (in his/her teenage) thinks and wants is childish/childlike. Most times, mothers negate and say what they want for their sons and daughters even if it isn't what their children really want. So that is why I had to impose it in this poem, because it states something clichΓ© but still very relatable. On another note, the fallen and falling stars are both figures that signify the sons and daughters who dared of choosing their own path in very hope of a better definition of their identity and risked for a destination even in the possibility that they could be lost or broken in the process. Then the undersea would be a metaphor or a figure of the world we currently have, a world opposite to the sky, far from where the stars dwell, figuratively a place where falling stars go. But still, can be a place that can be called a home. So that's it. Enstring everything together and TA DAAAH! Lol.
°°°
On a serious note, my dear weirdos, it matters to follow our hearts and seek for answers and affirmation to questions that put us in crisis especially if identity is concerned, even if it meant that we have to not follow what our mother would assertively say, mothers are not always right. And even if it meant that we have to leave the house we dwell in and the family that we share it with. Most times it is worth the shot. We'd be there soon. It's really not like we're leaving home. Home is certainly a feeling, not necessarily a place. And home will always be within us only when we've truly found who we really are.

Pardon me for the long note. Anyway, thanks for reading. Happy Sunday. :'>
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