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I've noticed that my mustache grows in thicker on one side,
made to wonder if this blunder's due to my brother, how he died,
Never will my reddened beard grow in and lay with grace
because my brothers lifeless body layed a pressure on my face
Most men primp and think of happiness in mirrors and in breath
However, whenever I clean my face I'm forced to think of death,
(with the face of a brother I've never met)
So I celebrate life and do my best to think it limitless
Go out and do, create for you, make proud the worlds dead triplets

I am the living ghost of Joseph,
All the worlds dead triplets.

I've noticed that my beard grows thicker in just this tiny spot,
'Cause the way they lay, I cannot help but think a rather morbid thought,
The way you are is picked afar from waned or waxed moon,
but what happens there when you're prepared a rather taxed womb?
The newest of 8 darkened waters with no help to navigate,
You'll admit having dead brothers makes it harder to relate.
But they never were alive so I can't say I have regrets,
I must make with my life, for all the worlds dead triplets

I am the living ghost of Joseph,
All the worlds dead triplets.

My mother calls me her surprise and I think "jeezez kryst."
In honesty I'm accident, but the way you said it's nice.
I feel and see it differently inside my orange head,
But, that's just the way **** happens when you're born beside the dead.
You see, I was touched by death before I even knew of life,
I cuddled it and swam beside it up until the knife.
So death, with mercy, stays away and out of sight it gets,
for it knows I held it close, I live, a ghost, of my dead triplet.

I am the living ghost of Joseph,
All the worlds dead triplets.

But it can't last forever,
I've already lived too long,
So immortal I'm on paper
and in the wind in song.

I said it cannot last forever,
I should already be dead,
The world it has a shortage
of another orange head

I am the living ghost of Joseph,
My dead triplet.

So with all of that in mind, defined,
my chances should be none,
I never should have had a first,
so I make all my seconds battles won.

I am the living ghost of my brother Joseph,
and all the worlds dead triplets.
It is very hard to hit the save poem button....... there's that sinking feeling in my gut....... is this too personal? You tell me.

This may be the most important poem I've ever written. I didn't even know I felt half of this stuff until they were all in a notebook together.

See the thing is, if you're bearing multiple children and one of them is miscarried, the chances that the rest of the babies surviving is, well, not favorable.

And I didn't even show up on any ultrasounds.

Gives me a new outlook and even though it's a morbid poem, it makes me feel more gifted than anything else in the world. Makes me wanna hug my twin because I cannot hold my triplet. We don't even get along.

RIP Joseph.
They couldn't think of something to say
the day you left.
When it rains it pours, you said.
I nodded and took another drag.
We would watch the dogs run around the yard,
oblivious to what had just happened,
and pretend we could be just like them.
I couldn't think of what to say,
short of "I love you, mom" but even those words
choked coming up.
So we sat in silence, and pretended we were everything around us,
and nothing inside of us,
while everything outside of us was falling apart too.

"I hate this **** house" you said.
I nodded and took another drag.
Let not each unkind word I ever spoke
drive you ... further from my arms

let not each plate and promise broke
make a fist ... of open palms

Let not the fact you love me so
make you think.. you have to stay

let not the past mistakes be repeated ... go
just leave me...  just ignore the things.. I say

I'm sorry.... not

I'll change.. nothing

I love you... being afraid.


Just leave your ring ... beside my whiskey glass

and like my tears....


Run.
He keeps showing up in my head
Like a ghost haunting me
How did we get here?
All I know is that I cannot form it into the treasure it was before
I need to eat it without any fear
Leaving no crumbs behind
Why are the memories showing up now?
I think this year was waiting for this moment to bite me
And break me
Until I showed enough fear
So it would be finally satisfied
Tonight was the first time my tears dropped because of it in a long time
What more can I give?
Yes, I breathe for him but why does it mean so much to you?
Our friendship was less than I wanted it to be
I know that
What else are you trying to teach me?
That love is worthless or are you just enjoying this so that you can watch me drown in my own sadness?
Like I'm your puppet
Or your animal that you put in your own circus
I'll stare fear in the eye if I have to
I'm not going insane for you
I can have life without you
I don't need this twisted tongue tied madness in my head going off like my morning alarm clock
Life went on
So did I
I don't need you screaming in my thin ears everyday or for you to care
I want you to leave and never come back
Because guess what?
I woke up from this beautiful dysfunction dream
After all the pain I went through
And all the hope I tried to convince myself to have
I finally feel lifted
Do you think that God doesn't understand
What you go through
When it's in His hands

He has known you in your mothers womb
Yes He knows what
You are going through

You can come to Him with your heartache
He will pick you up
As the pieces break

So what it is you are going through
Is no surprise
To the God of Truth

Because what it is you are going through
When it's all said and done
Only strengthens you
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