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A tornado touched down in a valley of Pennsylvania last night.

It swept us up as thousands of people
and objects swirled around a thousand feet off the ground.

A lot of lava lamps broke.

It was a full moon and everything lit up a pale blue.

The tornado knew our fate though.

The tornado pushed you and I to the very top of the funnel...We just hovered there...alone.

We looked in each others' eyes.
It was only for a second or two, but we understood.
We were together.  No words needed to be said.

And as quick as the moment came, it left.  We were ripped away into the vortex.

You landed safely in a pond.

I wasn't so lucky...

The left side of my torso got ripped out..
I look up at you in a crowded room and notice you're looking at me.  You quickly look away and I quickly write off the situation as an accident.

I'm never the right one, why is now any different.

I'll tell myself I don't have a chance.

My heart gets buried in a fake smile and fake laugh.

Play it cool you cool *******.

Truth is, I need this shot.  I take a shot to take a shot at you.  A cheap trick.

What is love drunk?  Am I love drunk?  Is that what love drunk is?

I could get drunk off you...I mean, I'm around you and all of a sudden I feel sick to my stomach, laced with butterflies and the next morning I'll wake up and regret taking too much of you...especially because now you're gone.  The thrill from last night is now a love hangover and you are simply last night.

and my expensive taste in fine wine will be the death of me.  Only the best will do for this selfish conceded alcoholic.  Red wine that matches your red lipstick.

BAC is way too high.  I'm drunk off you, your lips to mine.

I can't drive.  I'll have to stay tonight.

I'll slur words because I don't know what to say to you.

I miss you when you're not here.  My body shakes and shivers and I want you around.  I'll lie to myself and say I'm not going to think about you, and I won't text you and I won't tell you how I feel and I'll feel terrible about it and I'll want you around and I'll type out a message explaining everything and I'll just hope and pray my fingers are too cold from winter's crisp air and I hope they slip and accidentally hit the "send" button before I can delete the message...

But that never happens...So I'll take another shot of you and hope I don't get wasted again.
 Oct 2013 Jamie Horridge
brooke
i'm trying
so hard to
be someone
(c) Brooke Otto
Babies au naturel

attracted you, I could tell

they never lacked your attention

caused many an *******



This illness has taken its toll

my ***** in doctor's control

they suggest I lose both

slice cancer at its throat



Will you still want me dear?

its one of my biggest fears

I know it's to save my life

but will you still fancy your wife?
thousands of lost souls screaming at the dark
that lives inside their minds
and wishing someone could draw them out
of their lonely heads and this broken time

even the simplest action becomes an ordeal
a herculean task to those who are
living perpetually in fear of all
the things they see and everything they are

if you have never lost your senses
to sheer paralysis over food, or going out
you cannot understand how terrifying
life can be, or how it drags so many down

we live in the depths, an exclusive hades
this circle of hell exists on earth
heaven and stars become a rich pipedream
we lose all idea of love and elusive self worth

an illness so isolated, this disease
god I wish something was wrong with my body
that could show what makes me so insane
instead of a perfectionist need to be lovely

an innate detachment from others
the people who know how to exist
in happiness, who dream of real things
who when they die will truly be missed

I am not here, not real, I wish I was
not a shadow girl, the ghost at the bar
lost in a lonely heart and finding salvation
wielding a blade and creating ugly scars

making pain replace love and true feeling
so that everything translates to fat
and I can't possibly enjoy anything
and open up, I'll never be like that

withdrawal and dissolution reigns until
this girl gets help, gets locked up
gets shown all the ways in which she is sick
god, I wish I had never grown up

*© Tara India.
I wrote this while I was drunk the other night: why am I so much more honest in the darkness while intoxicated?
 Oct 2013 Jamie Horridge
AJ Claus
If a tree falls in the forest
and someone is there to chop it down,
did it really fall at all?
And is a tree only a tree when its roots are deep in the ground?
What then, when the man cuts it down?
Does it still exist?
It is dead when its roots are shriveled up.
When we die, we no longer exist.
Or do we?
Are our roots still extended?
Our connections remaining while we are gone, though not for good?
Are our souls still around,
to strut around the town?
Wait, does a tree have a soul?
Or is it really gone, when it's gone?
When it turns into paper in a factory,
has the tree disappeared, destroyed?
Or is all that paper still the tree, torn up and annoyed?

So what happens when we're gone?
Are we cut up in a factory and packaged up
to be sent to stores all through the town?
They call us ***** donors.
Are we written on and doodled upon
like a worthless piece of paper?
People talk, they gossip, hurt us with words,
label us with their judgments,
make us feel worthless.
No one should feel worthless!
Even a tree.

But isn't a tree just a thing?
It isn't a person, nor an animal.
But it is alive,
moving, trying to strive,
for recognition, just like the rest of us.
It reaches its branches higher, higher,
only to be sliced apart and turned into a flyer.
If I was chopped down,
and just as I was working my hardest,
I'd be sad, I'd be mad, I'd be crushed inside and out.
I don't want to be like paper, used,
crumbled into a ball, abused,
if asked, it would be refused,
"Can I cut you down?"
No.
Never.
Stop, stop, STOP!
A tree is never asked, "Is this okay?"
They're just cut down, there's no other way.
And we're the same, even today.
We cut down others, we go and say,
"You ******! You freak! No one likes you, go away!"
HEY!

These words are ugly,
not like the people they're aimed at.
No one deserves to be made fun of,
to be hurt,
stepped on,
chopped down like a tree.
And those bullies will see.
It'll come back and then they will be,
cut down and hurt, just like a tree.
If a person is cut down,
and no one hears them cry,
do they still exist?
Do they still matter?
Of course they do,
though they feel like they don't.

Everyone matters, even when they don't think they do,
even at their lowest low,
when they won't know where they should go,
there's a place, a safe haven,
out there somewhere.
In the arms of friends, family, neighbors.
No one is ever truly alone.
And do you know what?
Neither is a tree.
When if falls, someone will be there
and someone will care.
Everyone and everything matters,
everyone and everything has a purpose.
Even you and me,
and even a measly tree.
 Oct 2013 Jamie Horridge
AJ Claus
Day in and day out,
I just want to shout,
While the pain in my brain,
Drives me insane.

My heart aches,
By body shakes,
I don't know how
Much more I can take...
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