Send me down to the pit of despair
I wish I didn't have to go there
Through the thorns of agony and pain
Once again I've caused my own misery today

Is there somehow to take away this death
I don't want to ever take my last breath
I am amazed Everytime i wake up alive
The grim-reaper didn't take me during the night
I thank God that he has giving me another day
What will I do with it is hard to say
I can be as miserable as I want to be
Or I can try really hard to sow happy

But as with most days it turns out a battle in my mind
Cringing for the fear that any day now I can lose my life

Where would I go from hear?
Not much is certain or clear
Is there a heaven with all of its bliss
Or a hell that wants to give me a kiss?
Or is there even a God?
A devil?
Angels and demons?
Or what happens if there is just nothing?
Never wake up again

So many questions I want answered
But for right now I guess it will have to do
And I'll be on my way hoping, always hoping
Something is true
That holds substance
Weight and depth
That will pierce my heart
And wake me up to immortality

It just wasn't meant to be...
But I am exactly where I'm suppose to be at this very moment-
To come to accept it takes work, believing it with my whole heart,
Not denying it but facing it for what it is-
Life.

I am such a ****** man
Learned it through growing up
I write particularly about much of nothing
My heart cries out that one day I will succeed in my dream

I know I am stubborn about love
But I have to love myself to give it away
I am prone to write about the ugliness of life
So much tragedy we all see daily

I am not fond of the road I have chosen
It seem like one wrong turn will do me in
If only I could be as strong as others I see
The ones who I admire that look at darkness and only laugh

These are the ones I would like to be like
They fill my heart with joy and they don't even know it
They put pen to paper and write an awesome poem I can only wish to write
I read these words from them and I can only feel better about myself and my day

Not so when you read one of mine
Darkness clouds my mind
I even give it a try
But am lost for words in these darken eyes

I write about death and pain
I talk **** about love and how chaos has ruined my day
If only I could write like my heroes
Then and only then I would be at a place where I would know

Things aren't that way in this perspective of mine
Beauty is all around me but I look at the garbage cans
I stare up at the sky and wish a storm to pass by
Maybe a bolt of lightning would electrocute me

One could only hope for things to go right
But here I sit not doing much of anything with my time
It's difficult to find my sanity with the way I feel
Wondering if it isn't just a dream and not much is real