I can't ******* think
when all I think about
is ******* you
I remember how you liked me biting the back of your neck
and how you liked me to leave my hand marks on you shoulders
as I went deeper and deeper into you
you were such a fun little ****
yeah you liked when I pressed on your chest so hard
when I was untop that a slight movement from you would snap your fragile collar bones.
yeah you were fun
But im done with you now
why can't you understand I never loved you im sorry
you were nothing to me but a ****
so why can't I stop thinking about you
probably because I loved ******* you
Oh wait nowadays that's what most people think love is
im sorry for your confusion darling

I saw your chubby fingers
and I saw your big toes
and I saw the wrinke under your nose
I saw this one little hair strand that you could never tie up right.
I always tried to fix it and put it behind your ear
but you always told me not to worry and leave it be
I could never leave you alone even  if I tried.
Even when things went bad
I'd still sit around and think about how our feet would brush up while layin in bed.
I wanted to be stuck in time forever but like my jeans our love just faded.

My hands reach for you now
but your so far away
what happened to the girl I use to know
is she in there
is she in there
waiting to be let free.
It seems this person is kidnapping you dear
and My fear is I'll never save you babe.
You've been taken over by hate my love
You've been taken over by Greed
The girl I knew before
would care more about Time well Spent
or sitting under a sunset and smoking a ciggerete slow
This woman I see doing her hair in the mirror is far from the woman
I use to know.
I'm sorry I have to go now
I can't see you in turmoil and try to save your soul
I tried to ask the Lord to watch over you
but you pushed his hand aside.
You know it's a brutal ride
being inlove with a woman who isnt inlove with herself.

I wanted to be your great escape but you ended up pulling a great escape
your heart faded away
and your makeup pealed off
and your real face showed
I wanted to save you before
before your own demons consumed you
I wanted to be your Constantine
But I guess I didnt reach you in time.

I hope I see you in the next life
and I get another chance
But maybe its just fate
to keep crossing paths
and really never figuring out
where things went bad.

Ha you could never dance
we were always stepping on eachother toes
and it wasn't easy
and it wasn't easy
keeping up with the beat
but my hands
they guided us to the dance floor for some odd reason
we always were clumsy but our clumsyness
always seemed kinda flauntlessly cute
Im makin up words now
just to explain how horribly sweet we were
and your new guy is a great dancer
but I seen you at the bar
and johnny cash played
and you didn't wanna look at me
but you did
and I seen your heart break
yeah
I seen your heart break

I remember I was scared to death
the first time I had a girl alone with me
I remember thinking
do I just pull it out and present it
Or do I wait for her to ask to see it
or do I just sit here and talk untill she says "are we gonna do this"
Or do I go "are we gonna do this"
instead we watched like 2 hours of random tv, talked, I showed my Tattoos
she Showed me ones that she will be getting someday on her body.
And then it Happened the sign
The flip of the hair
The little Flutter of the eyes
I knew I had to make my move
So I said "I've been looking at you since I first saw you and wondered what'd be like to kiss you"
she says "well are you gonna keep wondering or do it"
We begin to make out in the back of my head im praying she doesnt start using tounge
because im horrible at french kissing. Luckily it didn't happen
As I begin to rub her back I unsnap her braw with one hand
which I never did before that.
The shirt came off smoothly and I looked at a set of amazing little perky *******.
I tasted her flesh surrounding this tender area
and took my shirt off
revealing my skrany tatted up body.
She began to push down on me and soon as  was on my back and she was Hovered over me.
I remember thinking to myself THIS IS AWESOME.
just as she thought she was in controll I flipped her over brushed my hands down her hips.
AND IT HAPPENED the moment you know your getting laid (my brother told me this before)
The slight arch of her back just enough for me to remove her pants in a swift motion.
The rest is history
or should I say Herstory.
I remember the next day going to school
and later on seeing her at parties
and eventually I never seen her again
somehow or another she just vanished
to this day I dont Know where she is
but **** can I remember everything about that night
her outfit down to her ear rings
what song I had playing (Tupac How do You Want It)
the nervous tick  I do with my thumb nails clicking them haha.
she asked me if This was my first time ( I replied yes)
She told me that I was her first also (not like first)
but first time actaully being made love too.
she said I knew exactly what to do
and that she never had a man actaully take his time with her.
I brushed her hair back
and whispered in her ear ( in all the seas and all the lakes I found  mermaid by mistake)
my little way of saying she was speacil.
I've never found another mermaid is what im getting at
and honestly after all the girls past present a future
I'll never have another night like that
so if your out there Aubrey
this writings for you

And Yeah I tried my best
But sometimes waiting is better then forgetting
for when the time is right
the Sunlight will burst threw
and it'll bring you to your knees
and my prayers will be answered
when you walk threw that door
and I'll say
I waited for this women all my life
Now shes all mine for tonight
even if it's just for tonight
dont take for granted her love jay says my heart
even if time made you wait
just for tonight
just for tonight

My heart beats slow at first till I see your face
then my heart is off and running like a high speed chase
I try to tame it and settle it down
but its no use when your around
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Time to get untop
Been drug down
and stepped on
im untop now
and your being smashed on
Use to say my **** was alright
Now you callin me every night
I get my **** hard
cause you bout to break my bed board
your *** so fat it looks like a fat kids face stuffed with cake
and **** can you make dat *** shake
its almost terrifying like that anaconda typa snake
so yeah im smokin and ashin on your back and them ****** jigglin
So they ain't fake
for gods sake
For gods sake for gods sake

I'm here for the broken hearts
and the washed up souls
that were washed up with the tide of forgotten waves.
They come crashing in
and out
leaving the hearts on the shores.
I walk the bed of the beach
and pick up little hearts like sea shells
and put them away in a little glass jar
where they sit and wait to be held again one day.

Funk
Jam Wam goes my Trunk
Punk kids rage and unleash the beast of the party out the cage
Hippie kidz just melt
felt there heat
you see there bodies fall to the ground
the Rock kids mosh and make the concert burn down like pete tosh
We were funky hipsterz watchin the motion of the devotion of these kidz gettin down
we were funky monkeys just swinggin and a singing
pretty girlz jewelry gleamin
ya they caught me peakin
**** I was geekin and cheezin
would'nt you
Funkin A

So stoked
Dry spell done
Met a good one
not in the bar
threw hard work and dedication
she amazing
and ya were just texting
But a connection sparked
Like a eagle scout
I chipped away rock to flint
Now I see her
and its picture perfect

I tried to say some words
and they never came out right
You were the nerd
and I was the book you could never finish.
I was the end you always wanted to never hear
but I had I had I had
to make this story end
I was your chapter you would always go back and read
I was your sleeve when your nose ran
and when you ran out of tears
I made sure you made more
bababababy im sorry
and I know I know I know
I coudlve done a thousand gazillion things different
but im glad I did the things I did

Anybody knows my struggle
its shown on my bare flesh
Scars and Bruises
from a Rough life but yeah I stood the test of time
yeah I stood the test of time
I Close my aching eyes and
Hold my shaking Hands together tight
for I know this too Shall Pass This too Shall Pass
and God only gives you as much as you can handle
But he gives his Soldiers a little bit more then they deserve at times
but he knows he has a fighter in me on the land
my Heart is soft
but my hands are rough
for I've worked hard all these
hours
days
and years
to be right here right now
HAPPY
but to also remember the sad days
When I had nothing going for me
cept this
paper
and pen

I got a  little canoe
and set sail to the moon
I took my bandanna and pulled it tight.
Grand Dads bottle of Makers Mark was my good supply
some Marlboro Smooths and a old swiss army knife incase I got shipwrecked.
I cashed in my last paycheck and told my boss I wasn't comming back
I had a Full Moon to catch and the sun was already setting.
I ran into Johnny **** Eyes at Holiday Gas Station and asked if he had any of them mushrooms still and if he had a extra couple hits of acid..... "Infact he replied I just got myself a quarter and about a 10 strip of acid for myself but your going to the moon right... in that old *** canoe your Grand Dad gave you when he passed away. I replied " Yeah Johnny I got a Harvest Moon thats not gonna be waiting long mind if you just toss me a deal and give me the whole shabang." I pulled a friend card and mentioned the time I hooked him up with 4 double stack X pills back in the day and also cut him a deal on a Rothbury ticket. Needless to say he handed that **** over. So back to the river shore where I began the tale I was scared of what was to come, I was scared to just leave without anyone knowing.  I put on my old converse sneakers strapped up my suspenders put a little engine oil in my hair to slick it back and rolled my sleaves up in my flannel said a little prayer to Grand Dad that his canoe would make it... I remember watching him build it with his strong hands before the parkinsons kicked in... I remember him telling me that this ****** could go to the moon and back.... so I popped 3 hits of acid took a big swig out of the Makers Mark, Lit a Cig and said to the sky well Grand Dad you better be right.... You better be right

My heart
it beats
for those of us who fear to wake up from our dreams
where we rule the world
my heart
it beats
for those of us sinking our heads in our pillows
as we cry ourselves to sleep
what happens when my heart ceases to beat
do we not wake up from our dreams
do we not cry ourselves to sleep
These questions I yell to the stars
Where maybe
anothers heart is waiting for me to grasp it in the air
If my heart was to cease to beat
I hope another will take my place

I was welcomed at hells gates
I was expecting a little more fire
Instead there was a line of people
And the body odor was terrible.
I looked around to see if I'd see anyone I knew
I always get so uncomfortable in lines
I hate them actually.
Every time I reached the front
I would get sent all the way to the back all over again.
I got a bad feeling in my gut
That this was it
This was my Hell.
I dug around in my pockets
And found a note that said
Welcome to Hell.
I got so thirsty sitting in that **** line
And I kept looking and I saw a water fountain
Kind of strange for Hell to have this glorious Culligan Water fountain
I knew the water would be so cold and delicious.
I walked towards the Water Fountain and went to take a drink
And all it did was spray me in the face
But the water never was able to quench my thirst.
this has always been a fear of mine
A Water Fountain spraying me in my face.
I was starting to get discouraged coming back and forth from the
****** water fountain back into the horrible stinking line of people.
I thought I'd at least be able to get into Hell.
It seemed like an eternity before I got to the Gates again
And when I finally reached them
I was greeted by The Devil Himself
He said "Sorry that took so long we got a special place for you here"
I looked him up and down
And the guy really wasn't wall that scary
I mean he had this sinister look to him
But nothing like I expected
Honestly I was a little disappointed.
I asked him where do you got me staying after all these years I'm finally here
And I'll be honest I'm not very impressed.
No demons
No Fire
No Heavy Metal Music
I don’t even see ****** or Ted Bundy
I was really hoping these cats would be here.
Honestly this place is pretty dead.
Like a really ****** bar that no one wants to be in
It's like I’m drinking alone in this Dive Bar.
I was just in line with
All these ******* people
And none of them are here!

Tell me why this is
Why did all those people suddenly vanish?
And I got in
And NO ONE IS HERE!

The Devil looked at me
Took my hand
And told me congratulations
All the other people asked to be saved by Jesus
And you just kept standing there praying that you could get into this
******* gate, sit down, and have some water.
The Devil pulled up a chair
Poured a glass of water
And Said Welcome to Hell.

We lit a couple smokes
Poured a nice strong glass of Jameson
And watched the Gates for the next sucker to fall for the trick.

Helpers helping the Helpless
Helpless helping the Helpers
Helpers Killing the Helpless
Helpless praying for the Helpers
One day The Helpers will be the Helpless
One day The Helpless will be Helping
and Soon oh Soon they will both be Helped
by something Higher
The Ulmighty Helper
The Ulmighty Helpess
But who Helps the Higher One?

Flipping threw my old yearbook
I see girls who were once gorgeous
tooken my the devils hand
pregnant and life beaten now
horrendous
I remember seeing them
with there cheerleading outfits on
As I sat in a corner by myself
I here them laughing and chatting
about going to tonys house after school
I remember tony strong handsome captain of the highschool world
I saw him two weeks ago
With his hands covering his face
And a shot next to him
3 empty beers infront
He really let himself go I remember thinking
fat and forgotten about
still clinging to that highschool dream
I remember him saying I was a loser as he flipped my lunch tray
and humiliated me by reading my little notebook of writes
I remember saying to him
one day ill have the last laugh
one day ill see you down and out
and you'll ask me for a handout
going back to the bar I sit down
A couple stools down to see if he recognised me
He finished his 3 beers as I finished my long island ice tee
he said to the bar tender I gotta ***
be right back
I followed him to the restroom
and we were a ****** apart
I looked over and seen his small patheic *****
as I looked at my *****
I laughed
and I laughed
and I laughed
looked over at tony
and said see sir
I did get the last laugh
and I left
I hope he knows me now
I hope he knows me now

Im so scared of showing my friends my writings
as I sit here alone and just type
I realize im missing out on showing my family
what words I speak
over these little lit up letters on my phone sparkle
I see them form into beautiful paragraphs
and I wonder
what if they read this
would they laugh
or would they cry
because my online friends
seen this before they did?

when the time is right
when the times are good
I lived in apartments smack dab in the hood
I remember the tweakers and the town drunks
use to knock on my door when I lived in the slums
Use to give them water
and a place to sleep
woke up thinking will they be there to greet
they always were gone
And I fell back to sleep.
the moment I moved away from this place
I felt kinda fake
pretending I was rich
And my heart felt fake
I still often wonder if they knock on the door
and instead of a couch they get a curb or a floor

I can consume you
I can make you
I can **** you
I can see you
Im the life of life
the death of death
the end would be near without me
the world wouldnt exist
I can satisfy you
I can cure you
im all that is all
and thus im also nothing
simply and extraordinary
ive carved my name in this world
I've left my name for all to see
im visible from deep space
and someone is always searching for me
Great empires have came from me
And great empires have fallen for me
Pharaohs to kings
presidents to dictators have tasted me
the poorest of the poor want me more and more
I come in three forms
and you've seen all of them
Steam
Ice
and Liquid

One hand over my hungover temple
as I stumble and crash over pizza boxes and dried klenexes
Im a perverted soul
with a taste of *** and cheap ***** on my mustache
I roll another cig with my dry tounge
and push aside the ugly women I managed to take home last night
she smells as horrible as the rotten milk in the fridge
and It's so funny how my life has come
from being a high person in society
to a peice of **** stuck on the bottom of a loose cannon and a cheap date
whos only real true love in life is watching other people be happy
and making little writings on poetry sites
hopefully one day someone will come across my writings
and **** themselves

I've had many chances at love
I've had a couple good loves
But greedy me wants love all to myself
I cant share it
I cant share it
no matter how hard I try
it always goes away
for I'm better off alone
then hog all the sunshine
and give everyone else rain
I cant share love baby girl
But I can sure share my pain
of maybe loosing you
and in this train of thought
I loose you anyways
If I could just share
Id be a Pair
and not a Single
but it's okay
its okay
its okay

If today i said something beautiful remember it

if today i said something remarkable cherrish it

if today i fell down help me up

remeber that lifes journey i tried at.

that i was always doing my best

that i truly studied for the test

that i didnt cheat my way

i worked hard

i tried

i tried

i cried

i smiled

i laughed

if today i didnt do any one of these

then i didnt live

then i didnt succeed

the good comes with the bad

happy comes with sad

and lord knows

lord knows

today i did all i could

today wasnt bad

My body laughs tonight
it giggels and wiggels
As the goose pimpels form all over it.
laying in the grass checking out the freckels of mother nature
Feeling her sweat
the dew tickels my neck.
I run my hands threw my hair
and the static electricty sends a dancing
Dandelion head into my palms
I think,
what would it be like to float around like that
falling into peoples hands,hair,and wherever else the wind takes me.
I smell the approach of a storm
where ill here the music of earth
here right now im smiling
without saying a word.

I faught back my words
In my brain I twist and turn
untill iam like your outta my league
just a man wanting to take his chances
take the hard talk
and say girl
you got something
that baby I want
it drives me crazzzy
Cuz I always wanna call you baby

We danced yes
We laughed yes
We cryed yes
We stepped on eachothers toes
as the music played
We were both horrible at keeping up
with the beat the music played
but our hearts kept up with eachothers beats
your hands were warm
your hair was soft
as it brushed against my neck and back
I wish I could save this moment forever
locked away in a locket in my pocket
I promise
I'll never let you go
as long as the music keeps playing
and our hearts keep pounding

Majestic
musical
mayhem
Oh how we dance again.
chaos like a slow ballroom dance
Creeps up in silence.
I see your moves oh dear foe
and yes I don't dance on your toes
for I know this routine
I know how you roll
your obviois attempts at seeming unknown
only make you appear like light in the smoke.

When we were cool
smokin cigs
when we were cool
tellin eachother love could be found
I drowned in them promises
and I was swept
like a flood to the cities
you came to me in a pretty sky
our lies were true
and you here me
while your alone at night.

so we ran away from this small town
and crashed the car in the ditch
and took off into the corn fields
I remember thinking
"Are we gonna get away with this"
and the farmers didnt mind
haha
wow
and yeah we chilled in the silo and smoked cigs
and just looked at the stars
and wondered if times like these
were maybe not ment to be lived
and I asked you
for
our
first
kiss

ive been traveling
my legs are like jello and my eyes are crusty
I can feel a shakyness come up upon me
but I wipe my eyes and take a sip
I look to the future
im a hippie *******
i live for peace love and pride
my breathe is stinky so give me some stride
im listening to take a free ride
my windows are down and im jammin outside
but my travel is loose and easy to the vibes
youll never see me stumble or fall
my shoes are tied tight and my chins in the sky
noones gonna stop J A ******* Y

I washed my hands clean
under the sink
I watched as the dirt went down the drain
like my love for you.
I washed my hands clean
I washed and washed untill my hands became sore
I yelled never more never more
I washed my hands clean of you
and the dirt you brought to my once clean heart.

People ask me how jesus can come in three forms
the father the son and the holy spirit
I tell them he's like water
Water can be ice liquid and steam
get it?

Feed me your ideas
feed me your fears and dreams
feed me your life
I will gobble it up
like a caterpiller
I eat the leaf of life
and continue eating
untill I cant hold it in this body
and I form a new body
and cacoon
to become a higher being
of myself
but not myself
a higher being created
by the thoughts,fears, and dreams
of that branch
where thousands of leafs are there for me to feast on
your my leafs
feed me
dont die away
dont fade away
because you think
its unfathable
its not out of reach my friends
join me in the feast

your a hot little mess
with your hair tied in two pig tails
and your skirt flirting with you knees.
Your little *** is bouncing and I'm sipping my drink
just watching you move around.
All the handsome boys are sure all over you tonight
but you just came to drink for free and watch them fight over you.
I love when there is a good jukebox in the bar
because Thats where I truly shine
I throw in some Yeah Yeahs Yeahs go back to my stool and sip my drink
all the handsome boys go to playing pool because they know shes not here to go home
but like I said the Jukebox is my ticket in.
I see her walk up and ask if I'm drinking alone
I tell her well I was...

I knew it was play time
we were colliding and dancing with the sun
feet pointing towards the sky
just a passenger down for any ride
As we cruised 75 towards minneapolis
I watched your hair blow in the wind
it was like chocolate flowing down the melting icecream cone
that was in my hand
Your eyes caught mine
and we knew that this was a speacil moment in time
we just knew that it wouldnt be something we'd get again.
So we both took it into consideration
stuffed it in our memory bank
I sparked a bowl of danks
we got faded into the leather seats
I grasped your hand untill our pinkies locked tightly
I felt so mighty in this moment
nothing but a couple kids
loving the moment
and the look of the sun dropping into the skyline
because this moment is forever locked in my mind it was the time
that I first fell in love
and was the beginning of something
lost and never found
true love
true love

this time wont be right
or wrong in our minds
for we both knew that this would come
a solid gut punch
a sore tounge from all the lies
golly where did the time fly
where did the bruises fade to
I watched as you layed
on the floor
I watched you leave one more time slamming the door
but when we were young
we knew nothing of struggle
when we grew together or struggles doubled
and our love was fumbled and never really grasped tightly again
best understand I do cry every night
I tremble and shake in the moons light
you turned your back on me and I dont blame you
I was flipping through the photo album
tears soaking up the photos ink
I flipped the table
lit a smoke
poured a drink
and just forgot to think
about you
about you
about you

I've always ment to tell you
that you weren't my first love
you weren't the thing that took my breathe away
I remember my first love
it was the first time I smelt a Bonfire
and saw my friends playing there bongos and singing silly songs.
I remember them ashes dancing in the sky as I took my shirt off and felt the wine
run down my belly.
I remember hearing the fire crackle with the sound of our laughter
I remember seeing Jed throwing big *** wood logs into the fire God he was strong (dead now from a car surfing drinking and driving accident)
I remember falling in the love that moment
It was such a simple night but that night was the last time all of my friends were together
before life suffocated everyone
before school schedules and baby showers took over
before everyone turned to ******* Life Chasers instead of Dream Makers.
Now I'm sitting here and wondering
do we all just forget how to live one day
do we all just give in to the way society wants us to be
do we all just forget how to live.
I miss that night and I dream about it every night
and if I could relive that day
I'd replay it over and over and over
because we were all free that night
we were just kids singing,dancing,and laughing.

The worlds never truly silent
turn off your television and just listen
tires rolling over the iced streets outside
the buzzing of the street light
the pitter patter of a gutter next door
streaming water
as the water runs down the side of the curb
like children in a playground
it dances and laughs its way to the open drain
I lite my cigarette and blow a big cloud towards the stars
I here the airplanes in the sky passing by
and a cat hisses at something in a dark corner
As I inhale again I can here my lungs fill up with the toxic aroma
and I taste the smoke under my finger nails as a chew them off.
I here the sound of feet and look across the street two young kids holding hands walking
I try to eaves drop on their conversation but the cars passing bye blocks my attempt at spying on them. I can here what their saying to eachother as I see them both smiling "it's cold out here.. but your warm" I'm jealous almost and just as I think this my ciagrette burns me and brings me back to the echo of the town. I toss the burnt end and here it land in a puddle I watch as it gets taken away down along the side of my house. were all a generation of the television society and left out brains on the couch as we stuff our faces full of patato chips and useless tv programs. When the real entertainment waits for us outside. where the music of the world is waiting to be heard. Instead we click our remotes and fall into a trance of law and order tv programs and violence upon violence school shootings and who the next mass ****** is a sick twisted form of entertainment. I guess listening to the world got so boring...... I guess I'm the only one who sees the world as a untamed ochestra waiting to be composed into a lovely sympathy. On mistro On you play for your little sounds are not useless I here you playing and strumming the world is perfectly in tune if you just listen.

Lady Lady I tried so hard too be a good man
But it's time for me to go try something new
dont even think all these women
could replace the way I felt for you
But my heart is getting colder...
and my love for you is becomming farther and farther
and It's so gone by now
that im afriad of the man I'm becomming
I'm out here breaking hearts
and running the town
I'll drown before I let my heart get broken again
even if it means breaking a few hearts of my own

Id **** to go back home
where my bedroom still looks the same
where my mom takes my ***** laundry away to be cleaned
but my ***** laundry piles up now
and I wanna go home
where my laundry doesnt sit in the corner for me to look at

the gravel crackels underneathe my feet
i here the sound of clicking in my step
a peice of gum on my sole makes the noise
i whisper to the wind to carry me away
but it goes threw me like every other day
i wash my face with the mourning dew
and begin the long journey home
my shoes are beaten and my jeans are torn
my body is sore from the hard wood floor
but im on my way face to the sun and hands in my belt loops
i walk past and here the sound of dribbling and swishing hoops
keep me on the right track and let me get home
it wont **** me to have another smoke
my lips taste of last night beer
my face is ****** but i shed no tears
i live in no fear
because home is near

I was a lost puppy
looking for a warm blanket and a mommy
you wrap me in your arms
and tell me im your best
or even better then your last best
you've told that fib before
but your lips tell me sweet nothings
and your hair brushes on my shoulder
im your soldier
and your my mission
ill devide and conquer
and ill make you call my ****
the big monster
you fear
the big monster
you fear

Lovable
I really wanna be Lovable
Have someone who checks on me
with little how are ya's
or how ya doings
But Im just ingnorable
easily forgotten
waiting
for something to stick

One last Goodbye,
All I ask is to smell your perfume again.
The last thing I remember is smelling your hair and your breathe it was so warm, I could feel the cold through the cracked door.
I think about this over and over, we were such distant lovers.
Always trying to get back
to those stairs
in the apartment complex
where we kissed for the first time.

You always would hang your keys on the nail,
I miss the sound of them falling off the nail and on to the ground.
sometimes it would happen for no apparent reason.
but those keys are no where to be found.

The only places I see and smell you
are in my Lucid Dreams
where we're still together.

The moon blasts threw my window and covers me like a glaze doughnut
I want to take its beauty and bath in its glory.
my women dances naked infront of me
all of her glistening and the moon is jealous.
its light can only touch her skin.
while my hands can feel all of her.
I leave the window open
so the wind can blow her hair around
while I run my dry hands over her smooth skin.
I grab her neck and whisper things in her ear.
that only the spiders and there webs can catch.
for we are alone
dancing naked.
Being in love
And riding on the edge
******* the world
one sweat drop at a time
her world and my world collide

today I realized that I'm perfect with who I'am
atlast in my life I know who I'am
What things im good at and what I need to work on
IM NOT PERFECT
infact im fragile and weak
I'm scared of knowing so much about myself
It's the truth
I KNOW who I can become
either good or bad
I know what the future holds
for my good decisions or my bad
If only today myself could talk to the young boy who struggled so long
trying to be someone he was not.
I'd tell that boy to not follow the crowd that he thought was so cool
That to listen to your mother
to stay away from the drugs
even if the other kids called him a loser for not playing along
The really unique kids are the ones who dont follow the normal teenage rebellion
the real rebels are the ones who study hard
hang out alone
and even wish they could go out and get hammered drunk and puke everywhere
or sleep with a random girl not for love but just for ***.
But they dont
I want to tell my rebel self to be a true rebel like those kids
the kids who later on in life
will have money to go out and enjoy the things I enjoyed as a rebel teenager
to be able to hang out with there grown up friends and to fun doing grown up things.
Instead I'm a 24 year old sandwhich artist
the teachers always said keep partying you'll look back and regret these days
I told them they'll regret saying that when I make it big
years of writing
years of sitting up late with a bottle of ***** and a lit cigarette
like my life a long ash forms off the cherry as it burns waiting for the whieght of itself to break off.
I KNOW who I'am
I'm a voice for this plugged in generation
I'm the sticky **** on the bottom of your shoe
I'm the viper in a room full of gardner snakes
I'm the demon with a halo
a hybrid of a soul
hell hound instincts
but a butterflys swagger
soft but hard
sweet but sour
I'm the reason for a middle
im the reason why things stay balanced
for not for people like me
the Balanced
the Beaten
the hardened and the Understanding
the Counter Attack
the person who has seen the roughest parts in life
has been down to pennys to his name
Im here to tell you dont give up
because even during the rain the sun can shine
those days amaze me
when its pouring but sunny
Does it make since no
but do we watch in amazement when it happens
yes
That my friends is me
thats who I'am

I use to believe in love and fate
But now its all about the game we all play
no ballroom dancing or good dates
No more meeting at the malt shop or at the movie gate
its more let's get drunk
****
and forget about eachother
A world of each person whoreing the next person out
oh how I wish i lived in the old days
Where holding hands ment something
and heart breaks were spilt over milkshakes

As the moment grows near
I picture her fine rear
As im drivin I 35 eyes too the rear
I see my old life miles away
And when I reach that door
You best believe
ill be picturing how much of a lil *****  ill make her tonight
As im just slow talking
and pouring wine
I picture her kissing my neck and whispering my name
oh yeah this time ain't the same
it means more then ****** and forgettin the name
She a kinda girl I stay to the morning for

I walk these streets
and hear the pitter patter of rain
paint the street
I throw on the beats
and get my audio on/
I Feel the rain wash down my neck
and a trickle goes down my spine
as the music travels up my spine
My eyes get bloodshot off of the Pine Smell of my bud in the air
I take a long drag and watch the cherry get really long
its a long walk but I have a shaggy stroll and keep in mind
that I'm baked listenin to Method Man while the music is in sychronization with
the view of a lighting striking. It blows my mind that I almost trip over a curb
and scuff up my Jordan Flights that have been ruined from being my most comfortable walking shoes. I look around and see a couple kids buying a 10 sack or 20 sack from a Somalian..... which isnt smart cuz" half the time that **** aint even ****"(quoting Thorogood from Half baked).
I gigle and think about what If I just yelled freeze what there reaction would be

but I just pass by and wave with my blunt in the air
Saluting the other *** heads out in these elements to get faded
May the Force be with you Young Jedi
Jedi Mind Tricks switch over onto my headphones
and I begin to think my blunt is a light saber
and im on some type of epic adventour....
But I'm only go to the grocery store for another wrap, a bottle of welches strawberry soda,and a nutty bar...


Muchies will take you the strangest places.