Death teased me once
as the Grim Reaper tickeled my arm pit
felt the Pit of Hell pour out my wrists.
Blood looks beautiful splattered on white
like a graffitti painted by a hoodlem in the dead of night
My eyes rolled backwards in my head
My skin went cold as the bathroom tiles
devil cracked its cunning smile
but short lived
towels wrap around wrists
carried out the house
to a ambulance
where my run in was turned to a sickness
depression
medication
a new living hell

My heart
it beats
for those of us who fear to wake up from our dreams
where we rule the world
my heart
it beats
for those of us sinking our heads in our pillows
as we cry ourselves to sleep
what happens when my heart ceases to beat
do we not wake up from our dreams
do we not cry ourselves to sleep
These questions I yell to the stars
Where maybe
anothers heart is waiting for me to grasp it in the air
If my heart was to cease to beat
I hope another will take my place

I knew long ago that my life was ment to be drugged out and slow
for trouble has always followed me and lord knows my minds about to blow
I wish I could tell you that its been a joyous ride
that  havent had my world come to a crash and a collide.
My tears are all gone
my lips are still just as dry
I beg for you to save me
I beg for you to not watch me slowly die
for trouble is the apple in my eye.
I know one day I'll run out of lucky pennies
One day the Gun wont jam
One day my Words will reach your ears
you'll realize how troubled I was
when I was sittin there with that smile on my face
you'll realize at that exact time and place
that I was never truly happy
that I was a phony
and I shiver cold
because all this trouble has tooken away all my warmth.

you smell like a fine wine
that intoxicates my mind
and sends a wild shiver down my spine
like a cold winter day
you make my body
go into a deep sleep
as we wrestle in this warm bed
your fingures run slowly down the valley
into the area where we all know makes us both happy
you bite your lip
I bite the skin on your hip
and as we wrestle again
you whisper in my ear
that you love me
that you'll never leave
but as I release and full asleep
I wake up
and again
I'm alone

all these words you promise
you think your such a godess
really you'll crash like everyone else
when i look at you
i see your secret words you preach
behind the close doors and the sheets
you think your so sneeky
but really your clear as bleach
and your stuck on my skin like a leach
so practice what you preach
and listen to what you teach
please get to walking
down that one way street

oh speak them sweet words in my ear
and make me love to have controll of your fears
we laugh while we speak of our goals and aspirations
the feeling of eachothers madness
drives us crazy
we take several puffs of the burning ciggertte
and talk while the smoke pours out these forgiving lips
as i lean in for the kiss
i feel the pull of your lips to mine
and when i land it
we go like two feirce animals
going in for the ****
going in for the ****

we speak of truth and of heart
when the truth is we dont know how to settle our rambling hearts
they speak of curiousty and merit
they make us wear it
some on our sleeves
other bend to there knees
to feel relief to hear it speak
its simple elegant and a true remark
so let it roam and tangle
in the webs of life
dont worry we all will hear one day
the truth of the heart is a foriegn tounge
speeks so strong
all i know is to smoke
the sound away
laying down
dreaming of the next day
we sing
we preach
while the heart sleeps
while we fade
and fade
and fade my dear
a vibrant melody
a lushish trance
hows the heart dance
a beautiful earthquake that quivers
and quivers
the soul of the human race
with each morning wake and each nights rest
the heart oh how it dances

I'd like to say that I'am a warm fuzzy person
I'd like to say that this torture of waking up does'nt make me sick
I'd like to say that the sun makes me smile.
These would be lies
the dark amuses me
I enjoy dissapointing people
I get a kick out of manipulating
and controlling your thoughts and actions
I compromise your God
the sloth slow moving and never quick enough to fill my desires.
If the day would come where we meet face to face
I'd ask him to send me to purgatory where I belong
because I know I dont deserve him.
I pray in anger
I pray to him to fullfill my wants
I pray to him to make me wealthy
This is not proper prayer
This is not the way to talk to God they say.
The life that was ment for me
was of his making was it not
So why does he make me suffer with this talent of making people sick
to making people fear
to me always being in need of the next high
to me destroying, rebuilding, and destroying again?
Why does he send me in this tail spin
only to crash and burn
to have the demons of hell rip my limbs each evening?
Because of the secrets I hide from God and Others eyes
I toss and turn hoping my prayers will be answered
so I can be the person I was before
so I can be warm and fuzzy again
but the secrets I hide are not seen by your or Gods eyes
so How do I release these secrets without opening the eyes
of the world to my celler door?
Where the secrets have been waiting to see a light and to be freed to the upstairs living quarters to be with the rest of the family.
To be seen by your and Gods Eyes

His soul I could feel struggling in my hands
as I choked his memories and all his love he ever had
every smile he layed
every tear he  cryed
every time he fell of his bycycle as a kid
and every time a bully knocked down his lunch tray
was all rushing through my hands
as his face went purple and his skin went dry
His eyes rolled in the back of his head saying goodbye
to his life of not making the cut
to his dads temper and his lashing out on the boys back
the smell of leather feared the boy
and the lack of social skills made him a easy target
He stepped on the wobbling stool
He wrapped my arms around his neck
and with one last scream
he said thank you

Into the deep pit
into your deepest dream
I sit and creep
and happen to stumble upon your body
cold and limp
your face white as the smoke which pours out my mouth
I open your soul
with a simple blow
this intoxication last for a lifetime
as we lay simply
playing with eachothers corpses
a couple of kidz
drowing in this ocean

the soul of a crack fiend
I scram up ***** pop cans
and your belongings that gather dust in your alley
I scrap around in garbage cans finding tid bits of food.
While  I watch you in your big home stuffing your faces
the dog even manages to eat better then I will
your life is not hard
you dont understand torment
you dont understand hunger
like I do.
I'am a person of societies promise that failed
I will be that person you read about in the paper
a man noone knew
a man noone smiled at
a man who did'nt get a hug
or a thank you
or even a look that wasnt disgust
this is my life
a life of constant battels
a life of broken promises
a life of forgotten dreams
and forgotten love
a life that noone even knows exist
a life that will one day haunt you
when the curtain closes and the crowd just leaves
I'll run in your mind
because you didnt offer your time or a dime
I will live in your mind
you'll think about me during dinner
where I whisper
and whisper
and whisper
and whisper

the soul of a crack fiend
I scram up ***** pop cans
and your belongings that gather dust in your alley
I scrap around in garbage cans finding tid bits of food.
While  I watch you in your big home stuffing your faces
the dog even manages to eat better then I will
your life is not hard
you dont understand torment
you dont understand hunger
like I do.
I'am a person of societies promise that failed
I will be that person you read about in the paper
a man noone knew
a man noone smiled at
a man who did'nt get a hug
or a thank you
or even a look that wasnt disgust
this is my life
a life of constant battels
a life of broken promises
a life of forgotten dreams
and forgotten love
a life that noone even knows exist
a life that will one day haunt you
when the curtain closes and the crowd just leaves
I'll run in your mind
because you didnt offer your time or a dime
I will live in your mind
you'll think about me during dinner
where I whisper
and whisper
and whisper
and whisper

I got so sick
trying to get the word hello out
as I lay around replaying the moment of how it'll come out
The words were simple
the time is now
I make my approach
seconds away from the moment I played over
in my head
my hands steady
my breathe slow
3
2
1
Hello my names Jay
and I've played this over and over with what I was gonna say
I wanted to say that your the most beautiful girl I've seen
Oh what
you got a boyfriend
great

skater kids doing flip tricks
motion of a jelly fish
they glide
they move faster then space and time
in thier minds
there rulers of this city
and how they make it look so pretty
they tremble with excitment
carvin there names into history
twish twish the sound of there shoe laces rubbin the pavement
they roll front and center
spray paint cans in hand
tag there names across the land
bandanas cover there faces
they leap the staircases
they are merely a imagination
swoop in grab a few cases
drink while they ride
taking pictures of the night sky
with no camera
but plenty of eyes
oh how they move
the wind carries them in a silent groove
how do we understand this nature
of kids kicking and pushing into a future
full of trial and error
they have there own flavor
a taste of danger
aromas of marijuana lingure
in the crisp air
the wind flows through thier hair
they have not one care
they have there own melody
metal clinking
wheels scrapping
car horns screaming
as they come flying into traffic
because that gap could've been tragic
when they land it
they know that it was some kid of magic
they kick on pushing
wheels creaking like floor boards in the attic
tired they ride till the sun brings its shine
when all there wonders can be seen by any traveling eye

I knew it was play time
we were colliding and dancing with the sun
feet pointing towards the sky
just a passenger down for any ride
As we cruised 75 towards minneapolis
I watched your hair blow in the wind
it was like chocolate flowing down the melting icecream cone
that was in my hand
Your eyes caught mine
and we knew that this was a speacil moment in time
we just knew that it wouldnt be something we'd get again.
So we both took it into consideration
stuffed it in our memory bank
I sparked a bowl of danks
we got faded into the leather seats
I grasped your hand untill our pinkies locked tightly
I felt so mighty in this moment
nothing but a couple kids
loving the moment
and the look of the sun dropping into the skyline
because this moment is forever locked in my mind it was the time
that I first fell in love
and was the beginning of something
lost and never found
true love
true love

this time wont be right
or wrong in our minds
for we both knew that this would come
a solid gut punch
a sore tounge from all the lies
golly where did the time fly
where did the bruises fade to
I watched as you layed
on the floor
I watched you leave one more time slamming the door
but when we were young
we knew nothing of struggle
when we grew together or struggles doubled
and our love was fumbled and never really grasped tightly again
best understand I do cry every night
I tremble and shake in the moons light
you turned your back on me and I dont blame you
I was flipping through the photo album
tears soaking up the photos ink
I flipped the table
lit a smoke
poured a drink
and just forgot to think
about you
about you
about you

did you here
the sky cry
it roared its voice asking us why we are killing her
the sky cut open with white lights
trying to show us how she hurt
The trees swayed back and forth waving there arms to get our attention
did we listen
no..
did we here her
no..
so she faught back
infernos blazed our homes
tornados blew our belongings away
just like her lungs were polluted
with our toxins
she fought back
washing away our lives
to dance with the fishes
She opened up her skin
and shook our souls
she knew one day we might listen
shes growing tired
shes growing angry
will we stop
will we cease
eventually
we are a desease
and her natural forces are the vaccine
will we win
no
will she yes

The cry of a baby wakes me
apartment two doors down
moms a crazy dope fiend
no grocerys babies hungry
a tale of the city
where the prettiest thing is
a mouse trap and a fly strip
Mom strips to feed baby
baby strips its dignity
for the other tenats know
thats moms a *****
and baby has no hope
but the same life
poverty follows baby to a early age where
other kids  mock him for being ratty
babys puts up with teasing
goes home to more dismay
as mommy lays
bruise and battered
oh the days they add up
where baby goes through this pain
till one day baby catches a break
a mike and a pen
and soon I wake up to baby.....
baby
made it big

And 2Morrow  


Today is filled with anger
fueled with hidden hate
scared of being outcast
afraid of common fate
Today is built on tragedies
which no one wants 2 face
nightmares 2 humanities
and morally disgraced
Tonight is filled with rage
violence in the air
children bred with ruthlessness
because no one at home cares
Tonight I lay my head down
but the pressure never stops
knawing at my sanity
content when I am dropped
But 2morrow I c change
a chance 2 build a new
Built on spirit intent of Heart
and ideals
based on truth
and tomorrow I wake with second wind
and strong because of pride
2 know I fought with all my heart 2 keep my
dream alive

Your magical mayhem
Oh How I love your drama
your Hystertical you make me
wanna choke the Love out of you
But once again you grab the string above my head
you beautiful puppet master
you manipulater
you watch me crumble
you laugh
you love breaking me down
but you build me up with your madness
for we are dysfunctional to some lovers
but its the only love i know
a beaten broken heart still works
just the ticking is a minute short
fragments of my love for you scattered on the ground just like the lamp I busted over your head
we lay in bed
I kiss you tasting the dry tears
Oh how I love your drama
sweet puppet master

flithy fresh
tattered *****
trash talkin ****
got a gimp limp
front tooth chipped
got chip dip on my lip
dont even tip
take a sip out of your drink at the club
scrub but your girlfriend love me
im a sleezeball
a goofie kid that usually uses roofies but
passes out before they kick in
im a mess
Gutter Crunk
Regular Gutter punk
snatched up your junk
and made myself a nice hunk of doe
so now im driving drunk smashin yard gnomes
blowin whippets to the dome
up inside your home
eating all your food and smashing your ***

the crew was a mix of different races
sent the other tribes to the races
off they go
Click Clack pulled back my gack
one shot two
caught one soldier right in the back
my dub warrior had that optimus gryme rockin in the back
and my hat was pointed to the sky
I watched the shot fly
thought I was sly
but soon a cherri was in my eye
told my lead to push down the floor
back went our headz
drivin fast
told my tribe to ditch in 3 2 1
squeek
clip clap sound of my airs with the busted soles
the chase began

Funk
Jam Wam goes my Trunk
Punk kids rage and unleash the beast of the party out the cage
Hippie kidz just melt
felt there heat
you see there bodies fall to the ground
the Rock kids mosh and make the concert burn down like pete tosh
We were funky hipsterz watchin the motion of the devotion of these kidz gettin down
we were funky monkeys just swinggin and a singing
pretty girlz jewelry gleamin
ya they caught me peakin
**** I was geekin and cheezin
would'nt you
Funkin A

ive been traveling
my legs are like jello and my eyes are crusty
I can feel a shakyness come up upon me
but I wipe my eyes and take a sip
I look to the future
im a hippie *******
i live for peace love and pride
my breathe is stinky so give me some stride
im listening to take a free ride
my windows are down and im jammin outside
but my travel is loose and easy to the vibes
youll never see me stumble or fall
my shoes are tied tight and my chins in the sky
noones gonna stop J A ******* Y

the gravel crackels underneathe my feet
i here the sound of clicking in my step
a peice of gum on my sole makes the noise
i whisper to the wind to carry me away
but it goes threw me like every other day
i wash my face with the mourning dew
and begin the long journey home
my shoes are beaten and my jeans are torn
my body is sore from the hard wood floor
but im on my way face to the sun and hands in my belt loops
i walk past and here the sound of dribbling and swishing hoops
keep me on the right track and let me get home
it wont **** me to have another smoke
my lips taste of last night beer
my face is ****** but i shed no tears
i live in no fear
because home is near

bongo circle

different souls mingling

feet tingling from the sand

mother earth laughs at our silly steps

we fall down in her lovely bed

grass flowers some alive some dead

i smell the aroma of sage and jade

it clears my mind my soul

it starts a domino of released sences

my heart sounds like a didgeridoo

its pulsating its dancing its grooving

its feeling this moment

its hearing this melody of leaves shifting in the wind

the sound of fire crackling

harmony with body, soul, and nature

open up your soul

open your door

let in the playfullness

let in  the cherrfullness

let in the kindness

open your soul

to the heat of the fire

to the coldness of winter

feel it

be it

free your heart

free your time

let the sun shine

though days of darkness

dont forget

this is just another day

another dollar

another stepping stone

another stepping stone

If today i said something beautiful remember it

if today i said something remarkable cherrish it

if today i fell down help me up

remeber that lifes journey i tried at.

that i was always doing my best

that i truly studied for the test

that i didnt cheat my way

i worked hard

i tried

i tried

i cried

i smiled

i laughed

if today i didnt do any one of these

then i didnt live

then i didnt succeed

the good comes with the bad

happy comes with sad

and lord knows

lord knows

today i did all i could

today wasnt bad

running


running


sirens


sirens


runningrunning


jumping fences


running


running


back alley


dip


dive


hide


vroom vroom


sirens sirens


hold my breathe


running running


home