I'd like to say that I'am a warm fuzzy person
I'd like to say that this torture of waking up does'nt make me sick
I'd like to say that the sun makes me smile.
These would be lies
the dark amuses me
I enjoy dissapointing people
I get a kick out of manipulating
and controlling your thoughts and actions
I compromise your God
the sloth slow moving and never quick enough to fill my desires.
If the day would come where we meet face to face
I'd ask him to send me to purgatory where I belong
because I know I dont deserve him.
I pray in anger
I pray to him to fullfill my wants
I pray to him to make me wealthy
This is not proper prayer
This is not the way to talk to God they say.
The life that was ment for me
was of his making was it not
So why does he make me suffer with this talent of making people sick
to making people fear
to me always being in need of the next high
to me destroying, rebuilding, and destroying again?
Why does he send me in this tail spin
only to crash and burn
to have the demons of hell rip my limbs each evening?
Because of the secrets I hide from God and Others eyes
I toss and turn hoping my prayers will be answered
so I can be the person I was before
so I can be warm and fuzzy again
but the secrets I hide are not seen by your or Gods eyes
so How do I release these secrets without opening the eyes
of the world to my celler door?
Where the secrets have been waiting to see a light and to be freed to the upstairs living quarters to be with the rest of the family.
To be seen by your and Gods Eyes