Let’s start something new
Something hidden
A splash in the water
Or a wave in the sea
Just another day
It’s just a memory
a little more than that
it’s a day at the beach
Throwing sand in our eyes
We were blind to see
The magic of what happened right underneath
Our noses
They told us
We were Adam and Eve
But even here in the Garden of Peace
We’re subject to our fathers
Regardless of religion or belief
Who are we to say what don’t exist?
Just because we haven’t seen?
Maybe they’re as daft as we
Maybe it’s right in front of me
The answer to our history
Wherefore art thou Juliet?
Wherefore art thou Capulet?
But what if thou wasn’t?
What if He created you different?
As much as it kills me
It would make a difference
That’s why I’m glad you love me in this life
Because you’re not assured mine in the next
So tonight, I’ll ask for His pen
Because while he tried his best I think that I’d better write the rest
Because we all deserve happiness
The end.

1 for the one word, Dad, that breaks my heart
2..
3...three words that I last said to you "I love you" but I didn't know that would be the last time
4..
5..
6...
7... the age when I learned that 2 people don't always stay together. When I heard the fighting and when mom and I moved in a apartment..but without you and I didn't know what to do.
8...
9...
10...
11..When I swore that I hated you because I thought you were never there, when actually I just would try to shut you out
12..
13...my age when I lost you
13...when I learned what it was like to have something change your life and have a gapping hole so big that I swear people could see through it
13.. I learned how to fake smile and tell people "I'm okay" when I'm tearing myself apart on the inside
14.. I'm scared, everything's changing without you and I can't call you and hear your voice anymore when I'm having a bad day
15...
16... the number of boxes that were sitting on the porch at Mom's house full of stuff that was in my room at our house and I don't know what to do with it so I'll just leave it in a box and try to think that it's still at home with you
17... I don't understand why I lost you and I break down at nights because I try to understand but I just can't
18..
19...
20... the number of times that I try to write something to you but I stop myself because I have so many words to say to you that I couldn't possible write it down
21... I'm starting to forget all of the little things about you that I want to tell my children
22...I wish that you were still here to tell me that everything will be okay
23...I want to tell you how much you mean to me and how awful and hard it is without you...
24..the date that breaks my heart and brings me back the worst flashbacks
24.. all I think of is how I should've stayed with you, I should've been holding your hand when you were going up to heaven
24.. When people were getting tucked in to bed waiting for Santa come the next morning, I was waiting to wake up from this nightmare
24... tell me this is all a sick joke, I tried calling you, I just want to hear your voice one more time please pick up
24...I can't grow up without my Dad not being here with me please
24..I don't know what I'm going to be with out you

you never made it see the 25th

I like disjointed sentences with no apparent correlation
and lower case letters to soften each blow

My life ran full of poke ***** and if mom got ice cream or not.
It wasn't when will my next cut be or will this be the day I starve again.
Life used to be climbing castle walls in my head and rolling down *****, brown green hills.
Life changes in the blink of an eye, though you don't quite…see it, till it's too late.

When I was 10 I had my first pokemon game, I leveled up my charmander with love and affection cause I didn't own a real animal.

When I was 14 I made my first cut.

15 I fell in love and didn't let her know till I was ready to die three years later.

You see I let time slip me by, like a friend who smoked too much *** or a lover gone wrong.
I hid away my scars till they were distant memories but man did I dig them up.
My past has been sour, like the milk my uncle drank.
Curled were the relationships I'd made.
The thoughts made me want to puke.
White buzzing was what went through my head.

I'm 18. I have a stable relationship. I'm getting married. Pokemon are my other friends when the real one's aren't there. I won't let time slip me by now, despite how wrong my past went.

Woman are the most dangerous people on the planet. And yes, I said people. Not some flimsy model you see in a magazine not some girl playing with dolls I mean Woman. A person. A living creature set upon this Earth to manage somehow the messes that men make up. A person whose entire being is creating and giving life, who without we would almost virtually go extinct.

   See the thing Men don't realize is that whilst in the figurative kitchen, the woman is (I'd hope) planning on some way to **** him. Because there's a fine line between asking somebody to get you something in the case that you're lazy, and degrading who they are to the point that you think their sole purpose is breathing for your ****** needs.

   As much as I hate to admit it and that it disgusts me in a way, I came from my mother. If you think about it we were all pushed about of a birth canal, put forth in the light. Screaming because holy **** it's cold where am I what am I who are you? A woman whom you'll end up calling mom has put you into the world and she could have taken you out before you were fully formed. Babies are clay ready to be molded only we aren't supposed to be the molders, we just help shape it.

   See the reason that I want to be a woman is that I feel uncomfortable in my own skin, I feel guilty being a man. I am guilty for what man has done what man continues to do. Sexism goes both ways but you cannot tell me it doesn't lean towards her than it does him. If I were a woman I would be powerful. I would be ****. Even if I wasn't **** at all I would rock that skirt harder than I do my skinny jeans. I would laugh with my girlfriends I would wear makeup and not wear makeup and be what guys like to call a ***** cause I don't want to blow them. Blow yourself *******.

   What I cannot change is the fact that I am a guy. I say guy things and do "guy" things. I smoke **** with my guy friends and sometimes let out a remark I hate myself later for saying. I think more about ******* than I do about what's happening in our government, but don't let that make you think that I won't stand against my male friends for woman. That I'll let them give me **** for wanting to wear a skirt or a woman's shirt. That they can get off with calling my friend a **** cause she sleeps with the same amount of men that my guy friend does woman. I know I'm not the best example of feminism in men but at least I'm trying to be something different than the same old sexist thread.