It's been a year now
A lot of time has passed
I have grown and changed
Hoping it will last

The world is so different
My world is so different
He is so different
They are so different

I am figuring out what I want in life
Putting my heart aside
Deciding my destiny
Something which I shall abide

But my mind goes off
Thinking about different boys
"Is he someone special to me"
"I kind of like him"

It is because I like someone I don't want to
He doesn't want me at all
He is not the best person
But he is leaving my life and I don't want to
I'm saddened

I was so confused before
Didn't know how I really felt around him
Was confused by my "feelings"
If they were even real

For two days I admitted
"I knew I liked him!"
Two days back and now
Im not so sure

I can't tell how much I like him
Or in what way
What do I want?
What will I get?
How should I feel?

I am still lost
I realize as I begin to write this
Something about him troubles me
And that something I think is clout

I don't know what to do
I like most things about him
But can I make the sacrifice
For the things I don't

I am so lost on how to feel
All I know is, It's him

SO stupid, I cannot understand
The relationship may fade but why the friends?
He such a ****, and I am saddened because
A new cheater influenced him

SO young and naïve
Hadn't figured out much yet
Though he knew love at 13
"Lost" it then too

He's such a ****
"leave me alone" he yells
how I wish I would but
im afraid he'd wind up in a cell

What a good boy he was
Had the world ruined him?
SO much hope and chance for success
His chances are so ever now dim

The boys and girls around him
Catch his eyes
Now whenever I look at him
All I wanna say is goodbye

I like being around him
It's really heart-warming
Im being shipped with another one
Which is not what I want

I don't know if I like him
But I hope he likes me
I think that we could have a future
But doesn't he want to?

I'm not sure if I like him cause he's so cool
Or because I want that clout....

I took a break
I needed to find myself
And I realized
I got life all wrong

He's not that amazing
Someone more amazing showed me his flaws
We're still best friends and all
But tbh

Were we ever though?

My happiness is you
because I see your face right now

And all I can do is smile

he's super athletic
and beautiful when he plays

he's sweet
and will make sacrifices for you

im going to be around him for a while
who knows how much we'll talk

he's growing on me
and I don't like that

he's a sweet guy but he's to shallow
I can't be with someone like him

even if i do like him
do i?

i don't want to
i really don't want to

Wait a second..
My heart used to beat when he texted me
But now I find him kind of annoying

Wait
He used to be the bright part of my day
Now he's the hard part of my day

Wait
I thought I liked him
But now im confused if I do at all
Is he just a friend?

Wait a second...

Well, the time has ended
I won't see him for a while
Now what?

Do I text him everyday?
Do I wait for his texts?
What do I do?

I'm so confused what to do now


Now what?

It's been a few days
I feel better now
Or rather different

We are gonna be friends
Unless the world tears us apart
Because it's different there

He says he's happy
But he also cried to me
I don't understand

It's just different now

I want him to be happy
He means a lot to me
More than he'll ever know

They were gonna break up
Maybe I would have a chance
I could make him the happiest person ever

They stayed together
I'm happy for him
But sad for me

I want him to be happy
But I wanna be happy too
But there's someone else

She is like a sister to me
I could never be mad
Just sad

He was near me today
It felt so nice
I think

He looked into my eyes
It was so cute
I think

We walked with each other
It was fun
I think

We hung out a lot
It was different, but enjoyable
I think....

I had some morals
Strong ones if I must say

But this past month or so
I've thrown them all away

I have some regrets
I don't feel great

But the worst part is
It's him to doesn't appreciate

I'm disappointed
Didn't see this coming

But gotta keep going on with life
Simply just humming

I don't know what i feel
I thought I did
I guess I don't

He loves another
As do I
Why are we together?

I don't know if I like the other
But I'm sure I don't like him

He tries so hard
Yet doesn't care at all

Does he notice my signal of distance?
Does he notice my pain?

All I know is that
There is another

I don't know anymore
I thought I loved him
But there's someone else

I wanted to love him
But I just couldn't
He is a brother
nothing more, nothing less

What do I do
Keep him happy
Or keep me happy

I just don't know anymore