Left for dead.
Get the **** out of my head.
The feelings I had were mine.
But now I’m stuck drifting through your made up disguises.
What’s the point of keeping me here if everything I am is something you’re stuck hiding?
I’m losing my ******* mind.
And I can’t stop thinking about my lack of time.
So I guess I’ll never appreciate the sun shine.
Because nothing that’s going on leads to anything other than my demise.

Autumn is here, I’m somehow doing fine without you near.
But I still hide from the fear.
Maybe with the cooler breeze, I’ll be able to see, what all of this nonsense really means.
And maybe someday find it easier to breathe.
But they ignore my pleas.
Forcing me to grieve.
Over my own life lived by others perceptions of how they see who they believe is me.
But who am I with all of these disorders?
It’s impossible to see because they have me cornered.
Maybe not so much cornered but rearranged.
This is all so strange, not to mention deranged.
I just wish I could brush off the debris but I’m in their hate filled cage.

Is there hope to breathe some fresher air?
Get lost in the moonlight? And gaze at the stars?
And to feel what’s true including my lost heart?
Will the breeze sweep away my fears?
Will I find my someday? Or will it end in tears?
Can the sun guide me to safety when the doom consumes?
Or will I always feel alone in a crowded room?
Maybe I’m not ready but time does fly.
I just want someone to need me before it’s nearing my demise.
So as I try not to get washed away in the tides, I’ll seek only truth because there’s no room for lies.

Orchestrated lies.
Who isn’t wearing a disguise?
It feels like I’m in one too.
Because the truth is never anything but misconstrued.
So how do I find my own shoes.
I’m lost and can’t see any reason to continue.
Everyone so self absorbed.
With all these petty alliances, and I’m nothing but a boring *****.
So how do I find a new place to go.
My feelings are basically dead.
What’s left but this nonsense that brings only dread?
Doesn’t anyone think of what will happen next?
Or anything that could go wrong and what could be left?
None of what these people do makes any sense.
So I guess I should leave and be done with this ******* stress.

I guess hiding in my dreams never works.
Because I have no control and that makes me somehow cursed.
So how does everything usually feel like the worst.
And nothing I ever try to do works.
I think people should try to look at things from different points of view.
Maybe then life would be less misconstrued.
But if you’re always biased there will never be another way.
What’s the problem in a better change?
Don’t you remember when everything felt brand new?
Maybe everyone should try to find their original shoes.
And maybe it’s easier said than done.
Because life happens and some people have to run.
I guess I know what they could be running from.
But that doesn’t mean to write it all off and throw people under the bus.
So as I try to bloom into the person I feel I am,
I hope no one else will fall to their last stand.
And **** people getting dealt hard or impossible hands, because peace and love is key for living a life you can stand.

I don’t know what happened to my being.
Without the pain of a tormented life I can’t handle breathing.
It’s something that’s hard to keep conceiving, but why is every part of myself fleeting?
I don’t know how to gain what I once felt.
At least I feel more than just a shell.
But that doesn’t keep me from starting to dwell.
No one can go through this demented race, with their being so torn that it’s not even their true face.
So why do they keep it going?
It’s all lies that are unfolding.
Where the **** am I even going?
There’s no hope that’s showing.
I just want to feel the blade because death is the only salvation I’ll probably ever end up knowing.