i keep forgetting you exist
the memories we shared are still prominent in
my soul

i would love to say that i'm not held down by you
but chains don't fall off so easily, do they?

the countless whispers
asking for me
but i don't want to leave

digging through the
closet
and finding
old memories and
feelings scribbled
in short sentences
and stanzas

one day i'll
remove my chains and
leave

the soft glow of stars in the background and
the sweet scent of lavender with traces of
ink?

the quiet squeaks of her sneakers against the floor
and the green aroma of flowers covering her
tracks

sometimes she wonders why
there's so many scars tattooed across
her flesh
and so many bandages in the trash can

how are you so bitter
but so sweet at the same time?

you're clever enough
to make me fall

i drew something on my hand for you
just so you know
but in the midst of all of the things happening
water washed stars away
and disease washed me away from you

the night's sun
was bright
but i can't decipher
if i'm looking at you or the moon

dear angel,
i've been meaning to ask
how do you survive
in this hate-filled world?

maybe if a hand reached out to
save me
i wouldn't be in so
deep

the spice of cayenne
and fragrances of
depression
but in the background
sounds of
happiness

the essence of
fresh pastel pink
and the voices of opera singers
covering the distant
background

where do you
place
lavender,
between right or
left?

how do you
describe
the glittering eyes
of sequins
and
pink skies

one day
we stayed up
'til 3:45 am
talking and
sending stupid pictures
and then you said
good night
and i couldn't sleep

lately, i just feel
irritated
but i can't let the facade drop
i'll stay 'happy'
i'll stay 'calm'
but it's never going to work forever
this
this i already
know

"are you mental?"
are you mental?
are you mental?
are you mental?
are you mental?
are you mental?
are you
m
    e
         n
             t
                 a
                     l
                         ?
are you-
am i?
am i mental?
well, darling.
let's find out.
a game, perhaps
you ask if i'm mental?
are you?
that's the real question
questions,
questions
you were a question
you were a blink of an eye
so am i mental?
or am i extraordinary?

they said
"can't erase what i wrote in ink"
but i wrote in
tears

you turn your head towards me
your blue eyes
pierce my soul
constricted pupils
cause my heart to jump
you always jeopardize
my feelings
but i know you
and you are a blessing in
disguise
yet i
i
am a pack of lies

i
i guess
i’m not her
i’m nothing to you
i’m nothing to them
i’m not her
i guess
i

you ever get that feeling
here you’re
unsafe?
it’s quite confusing
but yet unfusing
where you feel as if
you’re floating
but you’re about to fall
you ever get that feeling
where you’re
unsafe?
i do
don’t you?
it’s quite weird
i can’t tell
is it the fact I’m next?
i can’t put it into context
it’s not much fun
yet so silly
unsafe?
i can’t quite tell,
are you unsafe?
are you?
i whisper
i can’t
i don’t
know
you ever get that feeling
where you’re
unsafe?

a flicker of a star
a glimmer of the moon
a fragment of love
a remnant of hope
a shred of picture
a sliver of memory
never to come back
because you left
us
to be in the pearly but
twisted
galaxy
you left
me
to be in the
star-speckled
heavens
i will miss you
when
no one else
does.

i can’t breathe
his cold eyes stare
into mine
i don’t want you
i cry out
helplessly
oh but darling,
he whispers
the heart wants
what the heart
wants
oh but what if
i don’t want you?
i murmur
i can’t breathe
his cold eyes stare
into mine
i cry out
helplessly