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jackie Mar 2021
don't go, you said
don't go, you said again
i won't, he replied
not now, not then, not ever
it was a lie.
jackie Mar 2021
you allow yourself to want
to want to be whole again
to want to love again
to want to be happy again
you've always wanted
you haven't wanted in awhile
to allow yourself to want hurts
it hurts
but you allow yourself to want
because if it doesn't hurt
then how will you allow the pitcher to fill you up?
jackie Apr 2020
one day
we stayed up
'til 3:45 am
talking and
sending stupid pictures
and then you said
good night
and i couldn't sleep
jackie Feb 2021
i hated you and i loved you
you were effortlessly beautiful
you stole my breath away
but you weren't meant for me
jackie Feb 2021
i don't think i'll ever forget you
you'll move on, and i'll be stuck
i'm not bitter,
i just remembered
how much you made me feel
jackie Feb 2021
you were stupid, stupid, stupid but
i loved you the same
dumb elementary, middle school love
why did you infect me so?
i hate you but i hold on
because i never want to forget
jackie May 2020
you and i
but this time it's only
jackie Apr 2020
dear angel,
i've been meaning to ask
how do you survive
in this hate-filled world?
jackie Apr 2020
the countless whispers
asking for me
but i don't want to leave
jackie Apr 2020
sometimes she wonders why
there's so many scars tattooed across
her flesh
and so many bandages in the trash can
jackie May 2020
dear best friend:
do you ever think of
what might've been?
jackie May 2021
oh, i don't think you know what you're doing
don't look at me like that, don't touch me
i've heard what you say about me
look boy,
you don't stand a chance

all those men on the street corners wish
uh, that ain't happening
to the boys who yell
on my heart,
never will you touch me
on my heart,
my body is not your plaything
you can wish and yell and dream all you want

- but you'll never have me.
jackie Mar 2021
pick a card,
any card
oh, dear me
you've picked bad luck,
well, you might get a bad parent and severe depression,
but nothing too harmful
at least your family doesn't have alcoholism run through it
it does?
well uh, at least you ended up with a guarantee
that your parents love you
he doesn't?
oh well, pick another card dear,
maybe this time you'll return victorious.
jackie Apr 2020
somedays i didn't need you
but you didn't have to cast me aside
jackie Apr 2020
how do you
the glittering eyes
of sequins
pink skies
jackie Apr 2020
where do you
between right or
jackie Apr 2020
the essence of
fresh pastel pink
and the voices of opera singers
covering the distant
jackie Apr 2020
the spice of cayenne
and fragrances of
but in the background
sounds of
jackie Aug 2020
smoking sand
and drinking the view of treacherous waves
nails aflame
interlaced in panic
mixed up love
their future entangled together with a tragedy
jackie May 2020
one time
the sun exploded
and you couldn't look at me
jackie Mar 2020
"are you mental?"
are you mental?
are you mental?
are you mental?
are you mental?
are you mental?
are you
are you-
am i?
am i mental?
well, darling.
let's find out.
a game, perhaps
you ask if i'm mental?
are you?
that's the real question
you were a question
you were a blink of an eye
so am i mental?
or am i extraordinary?
jackie Apr 2020
you're clever enough
to make me fall
jackie Apr 2020
i keep forgetting you exist
the memories we shared are still prominent in
my soul
jackie Mar 2020
a flicker of a star
a glimmer of the moon
a fragment of love
a remnant of hope
a shred of picture
a sliver of memory
never to come back
because you left
to be in the pearly but
you left
to be in the
i will miss you
no one else
love you sam !!
jackie May 2020
have you ever been betrayed?
it's a silly feeling
it's one where you can't decide
if you're happy you had so many memories with them
where you're puzzled,
because you don't know
if those memories were even
jackie May 2021
girls that laugh & dream & love
i've seen you whole, i've seen you broken
ripped right in half down the middle
listen to me, girl
stay strong, and don't be afraid to show the world your edges
jackie Jun 2020
in case you haven't noticed
the sadder side of me
dear family,
just let me go
jackie Feb 2021
i'm constantly
thinking over our conversations
you're bringing me down
you're hurting me without realizing it
it hurts, it really does
so i've decided to cut ties with you
this was never meant to work out
i want to say that i want to stay
but this isn't good
this isn't right
jackie Apr 2020
the quiet squeaks of her sneakers against the floor
and the green aroma of flowers covering her
jackie Jun 2020
the child with her head in the clouds
came to be the one who was
grounded the most
jackie Apr 2020
maybe if a hand reached out to
save me
i wouldn't be in so
jackie Mar 2020
i can’t breathe
his cold eyes stare
into mine
i don’t want you
i cry out
oh but darling,
he whispers
the heart wants
what the heart
oh but what if
i don’t want you?
i murmur
i can’t breathe
his cold eyes stare
into mine
i cry out
jackie Apr 2020
i would love to say that i'm not held down by you
but chains don't fall off so easily, do they?
jackie Mar 2020
i guess
i’m not her
i’m nothing to you
i’m nothing to them
i’m not her
i guess
jackie Apr 2020
the stars are spread out on my vision
you said you would stay until infinity but
nothing lasts forever
jackie Mar 2020
they said
"can't erase what i wrote in ink"
but i wrote in
jackie Feb 2021
this isn't what i wanted
this is not what i had hoped for
when i said i wanted to be heard
you don't care at all do you?
whenever you say something
i immediately respond to care for you
and when i'm upset, angry, hurt
you don't answer
you don't say anything
what does it take
what does it take
what does it take
why do i hold onto you?
you're only going to hurt me
jackie Jun 2020
his words were intoxicating;
sweet but bitter
his voice was terrifyingly lovely
and he was breathtaking
quite literally did he
take my breath away
jackie Apr 2020
lately, i just feel
but i can't let the facade drop
i'll stay 'happy'
i'll stay 'calm'
but it's never going to work forever
this i already
jackie Apr 2020
the lavender growing in front of my house and
the sweetness of broken smiles
jackie Apr 2020
swaying in the wind
the poison you left
  running through my
jackie Apr 2020
one day i'll
remove my chains and
jackie Apr 2020
how are you so bitter
but so sweet at the same time?
jackie May 2020
dear best friend:
i lost you
but you weren't mine to lose
jackie Apr 2020
i assumed that you meant everything was okay
and looking back
everything was not okay
jackie Aug 2020
my revelation :
i'm sorry for what thing i've done
whatever it was, whenever it was
honestly, i don't even quite know what i did
to make you hate me so much
so what i'm the youngest?
so what that you think i'm acting 'quirky' or 'funny'
i'm not
i never was
the only thing i was ever acting about
was being happy
jackie May 2020
guarded eyes
restless mind
sometimes it's too hard to sleep
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