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662 · Mar 2020
unsafe
jackie Mar 2020
you ever get that feeling
here you’re
unsafe?
it’s quite confusing
but yet unfusing
where you feel as if
you’re floating
but you’re about to fall
you ever get that feeling
where you’re
unsafe?
i do
don’t you?
it’s quite weird
i can’t tell
is it the fact I’m next?
i can’t put it into context
it’s not much fun
yet so silly
unsafe?
i can’t quite tell,
are you unsafe?
are you?
i whisper
i can’t
i don’t
know
you ever get that feeling
where you’re
unsafe?
653 · Feb 2021
aiden (2)
jackie Feb 2021
i don't think i'll ever forget you
you'll move on, and i'll be stuck
i'm not bitter,
i just remembered
how much you made me feel
300 · Feb 2021
goodbye
jackie Feb 2021
i'm constantly
thinking over our conversations
you're bringing me down
you're hurting me without realizing it
it hurts, it really does
so i've decided to cut ties with you
this was never meant to work out
i want to say that i want to stay
but this isn't good
this isn't right
goodbye
209 · Mar 2021
cards
jackie Mar 2021
pick a card,
any card
oh, dear me
you've picked bad luck,
see?
well, you might get a bad parent and severe depression,
but nothing too harmful
at least your family doesn't have alcoholism run through it
it does?
oh.
well uh, at least you ended up with a guarantee
that your parents love you
he doesn't?
oh well, pick another card dear,
maybe this time you'll return victorious.
168 · May 2021
bodily autonomy
jackie May 2021
boy,
oh, i don't think you know what you're doing
don't look at me like that, don't touch me
i've heard what you say about me
look boy,
you don't stand a chance

all those men on the street corners wish
uh, that ain't happening
to the boys who yell
on my heart,
never will you touch me
on my heart,
my body is not your plaything
you can wish and yell and dream all you want

- but you'll never have me.
jackie Feb 2021
i wish
to be released from the chains of my gender
being feminine is exhausting,
wipe your mouth like this,
sit like this,
wear makeup or no one will love you,
don't play a sport, stay in the kitchen
i wish
that being reprimanded for not sitting carefully enough
or walking up the stairs a bit too loudly
was acceptable
127 · Mar 2021
--
jackie Mar 2021
--
you allow yourself to want
to want to be whole again
to want to love again
to want to be happy again
you've always wanted
you haven't wanted in awhile
to allow yourself to want hurts
it hurts
but you allow yourself to want
because if it doesn't hurt
then how will you allow the pitcher to fill you up?
126 · Feb 2021
aiden
jackie Feb 2021
i hated you and i loved you
you were effortlessly beautiful
you stole my breath away
but you weren't meant for me
110 · Mar 2021
--
jackie Mar 2021
--
don't go, you said
don't go, you said again
i won't, he replied
not now, not then, not ever
it was a lie.
107 · May 2020
night
jackie May 2020
guarded eyes
restless mind
sometimes it's too hard to sleep
105 · May 2020
tribute
jackie May 2020
'i'm pretty'
the red words upon
my veined wrist
to him
104 · Apr 2020
chapter v
jackie Apr 2020
the spice of cayenne
and fragrances of
depression
but in the background
sounds of
happiness
103 · May 2021
girls
jackie May 2021
girls that laugh & dream & love
i've seen you whole, i've seen you broken
ripped right in half down the middle
listen to me, girl
stay strong, and don't be afraid to show the world your edges
98 · Feb 2021
tape
jackie Feb 2021
i thought tape was supposed to keep things together
lately, the world has come crashing down over
our heads
why are you so angry?
what have we done wrong?
she said you changed after she died
but this big of a change
doesn't seem like it's as healthy as it seems
does the world come crashing down for you too, 𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳?
97 · Feb 2021
you
jackie Feb 2021
you
it's been a long time since i've heard from you
i suspect it's my fault this time
it's always my fault.
97 · May 2020
and
jackie May 2020
and
you and i
but this time it's only
me
96 · Feb 2021
thank you
jackie Feb 2021
Kerosene instead of gasoline
I always knew we were meant to crash and burn
Endings, endings, endings,
No texts, no laughs
Exit, exit, exit,
Nothing feels good about you
94 · Mar 2020
heart
jackie Mar 2020
i can’t breathe
his cold eyes stare
into mine
i don’t want you
i cry out
helplessly
oh but darling,
he whispers
the heart wants
what the heart
wants
oh but what if
i don’t want you?
i murmur
i can’t breathe
his cold eyes stare
into mine
i cry out
helplessly
89 · Apr 2020
angel
jackie Apr 2020
dear angel,
i've been meaning to ask
how do you survive
in this hate-filled world?
89 · Feb 2021
piecing things together
jackie Feb 2021
what a waste of time
waiting for you when you don't come
the world comes crashing down
88 · Apr 2020
bandages
jackie Apr 2020
sometimes she wonders why
there's so many scars tattooed across
her flesh
and so many bandages in the trash can
88 · Jun 2020
go
jackie Jun 2020
go
in case you haven't noticed
the sadder side of me
dear family,
just let me go
88 · Feb 2021
aiden (3)
jackie Feb 2021
you were stupid, stupid, stupid but
i loved you the same
dumb elementary, middle school love
why did you infect me so?
i hate you but i hold on
because i never want to forget
85 · Feb 2021
in the long run
jackie Feb 2021
this isn't what i wanted
this is not what i had hoped for
when i said i wanted to be heard
you don't care at all do you?
whenever you say something
i immediately respond to care for you
and when i'm upset, angry, hurt
you don't answer
you don't say anything
what does it take
what does it take
what does it take
why do i hold onto you?
you're only going to hurt me
84 · May 2020
toy
jackie May 2020
toy
am i supposed to be yours?
oh sorry, darling
i wasn't made to be your toy
81 · Apr 2020
wonder
jackie Apr 2020
but you're too good for me
and i wonder
why can't i get you out of my head?
80 · Jun 2020
intoxicating
jackie Jun 2020
his words were intoxicating;
sweet but bitter
his voice was terrifyingly lovely
and he was breathtaking
quite literally did he
take my breath away
79 · Jun 2020
grounded
jackie Jun 2020
the child with her head in the clouds
came to be the one who was
grounded the most
76 · Aug 2020
drunk on the sea
jackie Aug 2020
smoking sand
and drinking the view of treacherous waves
nails aflame
interlaced in panic
mixed up love
their future entangled together with a tragedy
76 · May 2020
explode
jackie May 2020
one time
the sun exploded
and you couldn't look at me
anymore
75 · Apr 2020
want
jackie Apr 2020
once upon a time
i wanted you and now i realize
i didn't need you
72 · Apr 2020
meant
jackie Apr 2020
i assumed that you meant everything was okay
and looking back
everything was not okay
72 · May 2020
on
jackie May 2020
on
sometimes i can come on too strong but
i wish you would stop shying away
69 · May 2020
speck
jackie May 2020
i was a mere speck of dirt in your
mind while you
were a plague in mine
69 · Aug 2020
the moment i realized
jackie Aug 2020
it was at that moment
that i realized
hearing you laugh
was the only thing i truly lived for
67 · Apr 2020
there
jackie Apr 2020
mostly, i just wish
that i could be there for you
as much as you were for me
67 · Mar 2020
pierce
jackie Mar 2020
you turn your head towards me
your blue eyes
pierce my soul
constricted pupils
cause my heart to jump
you always jeopardize
my feelings
but i know you
and you are a blessing in
disguise
yet i
i
am a pack of lies
66 · Oct 2020
untitled #4
jackie Oct 2020
champagne bubbles
smoke hangs in the air
and you say you're just fine
66 · Apr 2020
ask
jackie Apr 2020
ask
the countless whispers
asking for me
but i don't want to leave
66 · Mar 2020
galaxy
jackie Mar 2020
a flicker of a star
a glimmer of the moon
a fragment of love
a remnant of hope
a shred of picture
a sliver of memory
never to come back
because you left
us
to be in the pearly but
twisted
galaxy
you left
me
to be in the
star-speckled
heavens
i will miss you
when
no one else
does.
love you sam !!
65 · Aug 2020
my revelation
jackie Aug 2020
my revelation :
i'm sorry for what thing i've done
whatever it was, whenever it was
honestly, i don't even quite know what i did
to make you hate me so much
so what i'm the youngest?
so what that you think i'm acting 'quirky' or 'funny'
i'm not
i never was
the only thing i was ever acting about
was being happy
64 · May 2020
realize
jackie May 2020
tears in eyes
laughter behind closed doors
and realizing
you'll never laugh like that with me
64 · May 2020
vines
jackie May 2020
twisting vines
unrequited love but
silvery tears and golden stripes
63 · Apr 2020
lavender
jackie Apr 2020
the lavender growing in front of my house and
the sweetness of broken smiles
63 · May 2020
wolf
jackie May 2020
sent messages,
the subtle hints and nudges but then;
she realizes she's the prey
and they're the predator
wolf in sheep's clothing i guess
63 · May 2020
were
jackie May 2020
maybe if i said that
you were all i had;
nevermind, it was a silly thought.
62 · Apr 2020
lately
jackie Apr 2020
lately, i just feel
irritated
but i can't let the facade drop
i'll stay 'happy'
i'll stay 'calm'
but it's never going to work forever
this
this i already
know
61 · Apr 2020
leaf
jackie Apr 2020
swaying in the wind
the poison you left
  running through my
veins
60 · May 2020
genuine
jackie May 2020
have you ever been betrayed?
it's a silly feeling
it's one where you can't decide
if you're happy you had so many memories with them
or
where you're puzzled,
because you don't know
if those memories were even
genuine
23:03
59 · Apr 2020
infinity
jackie Apr 2020
the stars are spread out on my vision
you said you would stay until infinity but
nothing lasts forever
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