“Ten minutes”
“Stand up”
“Hook up”
The plane sways
soldiers shuffle feet clumsily
Line of camouflage
uniform
like plastic men on a plastic plane
“Check equipment”
“Second to the last man check the last man’s equipment”
“Sound off for equipment check”
“Okay”
“Okay”
“Okay” ...
Hands slam into the backsides of the man ahead
“All okay jumpmaster”
Tired legs and eyes shift wearily
tumultuous stomachs turn
the stars wait outside to reflect off the silk chutes
A hand forces an index finger into the air
the first man turns to the next in line ...
“one minute” and so on ...
The jumpmaster’s thumb and index finger
take the shape of an alligator
Thirty seconds is passed back
Hearts drumming
thumping with the rhythm of the planes engines
The jumpmaster hangs out of the plane
as a spider clings to a wall
the safety takes the first mans line
the light is still red
only seconds away from green
then it is only air and God
“Green light go”
The plane is gone
along with its hum
The world takes an underwater silence
Beauty swallows everything
though fleeting
the ground will soon interrupt this love affair
as the sky is dotted with parachutes
tiny men falling to an enormous world

Milk pouring slowly into my lap,
Helpless, with peculiar invitation
My hands begin the charge,
Breaking your ranks, combining armies

Happiness was gone from me like the grandmother I never knew
The ceiling at night taunted me with loneliness
I kept you close in my dreams, alive, shining
An angel glowing light into my gray lit world

Bitterness bullies me, but my heart holds for you
Your body as if a mound of sugar and I am the spoon
How your eyes speak! Oh, the fire inside my lungs!
My God I am shaken! My soul is a tornado, twisting

          Twisted

My hands find home on your warming body
My lips find sustenance in your kiss
The darkest dreams still find you, shining
Though I wake and feel as though I haven’t eaten in weeks

Deep in the caverns of my polluted mind,
Shadows cover thoughts that linger, waiting
My desire is immeasurable, it bleeds in me
I have nothing but rocks in my belly,
Stones strewn across an old battlefield

A field of flesh and insides where feelings were slain
The heart sustained several attacks, but bears scars of war
I am tired, beaten, without the strength to raise my flag
I will lay upon this ground, close my eyes and submit to die,

              Inside

There's a curve at the end of the drive
   where decisions must be made
  culture walks away from the table
  and the antagonist of our lives pulls
   up a chair and let's down the hair
   that distracts you as it falls
    in that moment you lose it all
    every word you wanted to say
    finds its way down an endless drain
    then the eternal stare
    the fiery glare
    that singes the very hair
    above your eyes
    and then and only then
    do you realize
    how deep you're in
    below the stare grows
    an evil grin
    shouting non-verbally
    "you'll never win"
      
     and then ...
    
   The alarm goes off
   your eyes find the ceiling
   your legs and arms
   regain feeling
   sweat drip-dropping
   onto a pillow now sopping
   long, labored breaths
   turn into a sigh
   shake your head
   a time or two
   look around
    to ensure it's true
   it was just a dream
   a lucid night trip
   jump in the shower
  and get a grip
   off to work
  with purpose
   and coffee
  as the antagonist
grins
  a grim
effigy

A smoking barrel hangs loose in my hand
Fallen butterflies at my feet
As her eyes beckoned mine
Pushing hard to get inside
A familiar yet forgotten feeling
Bubbled quietly within
My stomach felt wings begin
First only slowly ...
And then
A rush of wind
My heart pounding
Like after a child’s first kiss
A second or two of bliss
Then confusion and tumbling
Like a dryer full of cotton candy
Loss of vision and thought
Momentarily
And then it hits me
Butterflies
Oh, no
Butterflies!
Out of fear
And half swallowed desperation
I draw my pistol and fire
Bullet after bullet
As beauty and innocence
Fall lifeless to the ground
Until there is no sound
Just a muffled beat
Still on my feet
My heart safe
From the imminent attack
A close call
As her tears fall
I walk away
And live to love
Another day

I am supposed to be writing something

Because I am a writer

I’m supposed to be feeling something

Because I’m a feeler

A bad mood healer

A sunshine dealer

So wash your face and stare at the sun

And run, run run

A do run, run

It’s so much fun

Do what you want

Do what you want

Feel it erupt around you

Like a clown with a frown won’t do

Same with you

Not smiling baby

Light it up

Little darling

Live it up

Come on now

Stir the ***

Footsteps carry feet outside

And a body catching a ride

Don’t look now but there’s

A person inside

Walking that line

So many

Strangers in the night

Exchanging disregard

Invisibility works best

For some I guess

But I’d rather fly

Or would I?

- insert sigh -

Lay my head down

Close one eye

Keep one open

In case you try

To marry me in my sleep

Courting me in my dreams

Or so it seems

Do the work

While I’m awake

Look me in my whole face

You can’t replace

Or fake

Love

The jury
nooses around their necks
deliberate
which is more pernicious?
my volatile explosions of anger
pent up frustration
boiling over with haste
delivering painful words
to her ears and heart
or
the child that is my heart
left unkempt
embarrassed in its neglect
for so long
anger came calling
an unwanted nanny
resentment in her bag
two spoonfuls a day
heaping
till love and hate
fornicate
producing a passive-
aggressive
"Beast of Burden"
one you can't nurture
or let go
... regret