i've cried oceans for a man
whose words moved mountains
and whose eyes challenged the stars

and as i stand here
and look at the mess we made,
i think...

we really could have had
the world

and i know the earth
had to be spinning
because the sun was setting
on you and me

but at the exact moment
your hand touched mine

i think even the world
stopped and stared

i lay here beneath
the wall of clocks
you created for me

the sound
of their ticking in unison—

a deafening reminder
that you once
made time for me

i believe in
wrong places
and wrong people
but never wrong timing

you are never too early
or too late
for all the lessons and beauty
meant for you

to assign each other
the best intentions

to love with the grace
that only forgiveness indulges

to fight for one another’s peace
armed with the strength of our own

if a girl ***** a guy
she doesn't even ******* like
just to **** with a guy
she ******* loves
who is *******
a different ******* girl

who is really
getting ******?

when they write about us,
they won’t capture
the strength of our friendship
in hours together,

but in miles apart

on the nights
when my eyes
bleed harder
than my heart—
you let your own
bleed out for me

our souls
keep trying to touch

but our bodies
seem to be in the way

there are twenty-four
letters in the alphabet
without u and i

but there are zero words
i want to spell

it’s unfortunate
that my favorite way
to feel love
is pressure between my legs

it’s unfortunate
that’s the only way
you can’t give it to me

i’ve always known
how to be
a fantasy

i didn’t know how
to have one

like a feather
falling gracefully toward
your lips

every time we got close,
you blew me up, up and away

you had to know
it was only a matter of time
before a breeze would
come along to carry me
up, up and away
from you

she didn’t like playing victim

but she couldn’t help
but notice that
love always seemed
to make itself known
in her life

without ever making itself
hers

~

his voice carried
from the living room
through her closed
bedroom door

she was used to hearing his voice
reverberating throughout
the walls of her mind,
but never throughout the walls
of her home

she couldn’t help herself

because this time it was different

this time she wasn’t alone with
her thoughts of him

she was alone with him

and with the knowledge
that at any moment
he could walk in to see
her fingers dancing between her legs
to the sound of his voice

he said—
if you’ll let me,
i’d like to borrow
those powder blue stilettos
and walk a mile in your shoes
right alongside you

or as many miles as it takes
to get you to happy

for the first time
it doesn’t feel like
i’m falling in love

you and i
are just walking into it

hand in hand

i didn’t even have a hammer
the last time that
love asked me to rebuild
the walls he tore down

so maybe that’s why
i’m okay
demolishing them
for you now

this time i have a power drill
and an entire squad of humans
willing to suit up
in bright yellow construction vests
with me

tell me how
she has a soul so large
it fits into nothing
but a suitcase

the word ‘was’
carries a lot of weight
so that you don’t have to

if you stop thrashing
for long enough,
i swear you can hear the ocean say

i’m trying to make you a swimmer

so that you have a reason
to come back
...

i may have despised
for the longest time
that she was your sun

but you’re my moon

and i guess what
i’m trying to say is—

every one of my nights
would be darker
without her light
all over you

i hoped
that as i grew into myself,
i would outgrow you
like a winter coat

but i stand here in autumn,
falling for her
like the changing leaves,
knowing full well
that the cold is coming again

and you still fit
...

is it dramatic to say
that i’d rather
one perfect year
alive with you
than sixty more
without?

i got distracted
by your laugh

so, if there was a sign
at the border,
i missed it

all i know
is now i’m in a place
called love

and all the houses
look like you

the knock on the door scared me

8pm
halloween night
i wasn’t expecting trick-or-treaters
at my apartment door

i texted you
“i don’t have candy—
what do i do??”

you encouraged me
begged me
to open the door

“it would be rude to ignore them, amanda”

it wasn’t a child
it wasn’t a skeleton or a ghost

it was you

and a bouquet of flowers

and a note

“i know this month has been hard for us
but i have a feeling
november will be the best to come”

november was the end

ironically

those who dare to
take up the most space

often think

they deserve the least

you're afraid
of how far you'd fall
if you jumped

you're afraid
i wouldn’t catch you

you're more afraid
i would