i worship your body
as if salvation
will come
from the pink
between your legs

i don’t fear death—

i just want to be aware
when i’m dying

i want to hear my heart’s
last stanza

for a while,
the only proof i had
that the sun still existed
was the fact
that i could see you

as i lay down
to sleep,
and the stars
take their posts
in my night sky

i wonder
which of them
are faking it
tonight

i wonder
who didn’t want
to shine
tonight

but knew
her constellation
demanded her

you and i
tearfully holding hands
in the unemployment line

because this thing
between us

it isn’t working

our souls
keep trying to touch

but our bodies
seem to be in the way

you made me feel
so alive,
some days i begged
for death

i miss feeling
i miss begging
i miss you

september 22nd
changed everything

october 22nd
changed me

i was naive to promise
best friends for ever

can i interest you in
friends for now?

it does no good
to leave my umbrella
by the door
and pretend it’s not raining
when it very clearly
is

all that does
is **** up my curls

the only thing
that makes me feel
truly peaceful
is change

except for you,
my forever constant

i guess the thing
that hurt the most
wasn’t you choosing her

it was the way
you almost didn’t

i’ve always been capable
of filling a room
with my light

you’ve just shown me
bigger rooms

like a feather
falling gracefully toward
your lips

every time we got close,
you blew me up, up and away

you had to know
it was only a matter of time
before a breeze would
come along to carry me
up, up and away
from you

—
i am sorry.

i love you.

three words
eight letters

i have no problem
saying both to you

you have no choice
but to say one to me
because you can’t say
the other

i’m so sorry that i dig my pen
into your heart

it’s the only way
i can make you hurt like me

i held on to every letter
like a segoe script,
the way the ov made love
between the l and the e

but you left me sad and empty
somewhere in the space
of consolas & courier new

and after all the love
and all the loss we’ve shared,
i think we’ve finally found
our comic sans

i let you use the back of my throat
as your punching bag
when i know you need
something to hurt for you

but it’s not enough that i gag for you,
you want me to break for you

and though my mouth
may hand them out—
it’s not my heart’s job
to take blows

it would have
felt random
for them to tell me
his name is ryan
when the stars
exploded to make
my soulmate

but then i met that perfect
masterpiece of star stuff

and nothing felt random

not anymore

i swear the clock
above my bed
grows another hand
when you kiss my lips

tell me how
she has a soul so large
it fits into nothing
but a suitcase

we’ll be forehead kissers
and windy day kite flyers

we’ll be cobblestone walks
and silent stares

we’ll make love with our souls
while our bodies hug

we’ll find ways to stretch the limits
of a two letter word

the way you look at me
makes me wonder

if maybe this time
it doesn’t have to end

i’ve stopped
measuring my worth
by my place
on your priority list

adj—extremely delicate and light
in a way that seems too perfect
for this world.

you always said
no one deserves me

i just never imagined
you could ever be
no one

i’m fairly confident
that if i sat on the moon
and looked down
at the earth

first i’d notice you
then i’d realize there are oceans

the hell he put me through
came with a capital h

but the heaven
i’m finding with her...

well—
well, there’s not an h big enough

men have tried to hide her
in a box
and pull her out of a hat
on a whim

silly boys

submissive
isn’t her brand
of magic

the non refundable trip to see you
that you asked me to cancel
says everything about how
each of us viewed the other

you’re the middle
of a story
that will never end

some say drowning
feels oddly peaceful
after all the thrashing

the moment you know
your lungs
wont taste oxygen again
and you give your body over
to the water

i think you and i
are past the thrashing

the world
wouldn’t be
any less beautiful
if i wasn’t here
to appreciate it

but it’s more beautiful
because i am

i’m not willing
to lose the best part
of my life
simply because
he comes
with a wife

the vines of my love
were met by obstacles
at every turn,
but still they weaved
through lattice fences
from spring until fall

i guess they couldn’t survive
your winter

you and i are electric

and maybe we’re that
magic kind of lightning
that never has to
touch the ground

i dance barefoot
on glass shards
of feelings for you

and i do it
with a smile

i don't want to
kiss your lips anymore

those lips
were capable of goodbye

the sun and the stars
are technically one
in the same—
they all give you light

but only one gives you life

you pulled at my every string,
and it was as painful as it sounds
—unraveling—
watching the whole that i once was
become a ball of raw materials
in another’s hands

but you looked at me
—strands of chaos in your palm—
and asked

what would you like to
sew yourself into next?
...

how do you know
when they’ve lost power
over you?

you stop caring if they miss you

if a girl ***** a guy
she doesn't even ******* like
just to **** with a guy
she ******* loves
who is *******
a different ******* girl

who is really
getting ******?

there’s a select group of humans
who’ve learned
that it’s easier to bleed
than it is to feel

i have to make room
on my easel
for new hearts
and new aches

but you—
you will always be
my mona lisa

i was confused though because
he knocked on the door
instead of climbing through the window.
and i knew in an instant
he was there to save me,
but something told me
it wasn’t in the romantic way
they said he would.

seeing the confusion on my face,
he said, i know you were expecting
prince charming,
but i already have a queen at home.
and i know you’re disappointed
cause i’m fine as hell,
but will you settle for a best friend?
cause you’re like... super dope.
sick dress btw. ****.

oh—and can i sleep on your couch?
it’s just—you’ve got this whole tower
and my horse is being kind of a ****
so i’m trying to give him space.

i looked at him dumbfounded—
taken by his confidence
and his ****** hair

realizing he had forgotten his manners,
his outstretched hand
reaching toward mine
oh sorry, my name’s ryan.

you wonder why
you have to create metaphors
in order to understand
his love

oh honey...
that’s because it’s not real

it’s oddly demoralizing
when 7.8 billion
minus 1
people
want you

and you only want
the minus one

there are twenty-four
letters in the alphabet
without u and i

but there are zero words
i want to spell

you didn’t mean
to rearrange the furniture
in your heart

but before you knew it

shelves were clearing themselves
to make room for me