a king bed
was the only royalty
those princesses needed
to make each other
moan like queens

all things point to the fact
that in some life
if not this one
i’ll finally get to touch you
the way i’ve spent this life
and probably the past fifty
wanting to

and though i knew
you’d never call it home,
i built this love meticulously
and lived in there defiantly
completely on my own

so as i feel
the house lose its roof
and the walls lose their blue

i can’t help but feel
homeless
in the house i built

it’s time to accept
that you can’t possibly be
my soft place to land—

not if falling for you
always leaves me broken

i know how terrifying it is
to press pause

to lay in bed
feeling the unrelenting rotation
of the world pass you by
as you try to sleep your way
through the pain

but let me tell you a secret,
my dear—

the more you try to
fast forward through the hard,
the more you’ll have to
rewind back to it in the end

so feel it.
pause it and exist in it.

yes—the world will keep turning,
but don’t let that scare you

someday so will you

you once told me
she’s not that fun in bed...

i’m excited to see
what god you end up
believing in
after all that missionary work

ironically

those who dare to
take up the most space

often think

they deserve the least

you give life’s hardest moments
a softness
that i could live in forever

you’ve made me feel seen
in every sense of the word

but tonight
i just wanted you to see me
in the most literal one

it’s unfortunate
that my favorite way
to feel love
is pressure between my legs

it’s unfortunate
that’s the only way
you can’t give it to me

when they write about us,
they won’t capture
the strength of our friendship
in hours together,

but in miles apart

i know you
love me
i just wish you knew
how to

unrequited love
is something of an orbit

forever looking in
at the center of your world

dreaming of the sounds
the two of you would make

if ever you'd collide

family can feel like a prison

the trick is—
if you make your personality
so big

you can burst right through
the steel ******* bars

you like the way
my charm
traps everyone
in my palm

i like the way
you’re not
everyone

is it dramatic to say
that i’d rather
one perfect year
alive with you
than sixty more
without?

i don’t need
to ever touch
the moon

i just need to know
the moon resents the space
between us
like i do

i hoped
that as i grew into myself,
i would outgrow you
like a winter coat

but i stand here in autumn,
falling for her
like the changing leaves,
knowing full well
that the cold is coming again

and you still fit
...

she didn’t like playing victim

but she couldn’t help
but notice that
love always seemed
to make itself known
in her life

without ever making itself
hers

~

it was never going to be fair
that his brand of magic
is just intangible enough
to entrance me

and just tangible enough
to make her
his sidekick

so what if the needle
never drops

what if
we just keep spinning
around and around

so much potential

but never any sound

it’s odd
that she cares so much
about the oxford comma

when the love of her life
isn’t hers
to love

he told me there’s not
one unfaithful bone
in his body

which *****

i really just needed the one

sometime past sundown
i want you
to want me
too

i’ll follow her around
breathing in
every ounce of you
in her lungs

getting high
off of secondhand love

his voice carried
from the living room
through her closed
bedroom door

she was used to hearing his voice
reverberating throughout
the walls of her mind,
but never throughout the walls
of her home

she couldn’t help herself

because this time it was different

this time she wasn’t alone with
her thoughts of him

she was alone with him

and with the knowledge
that at any moment
he could walk in to see
her fingers dancing between her legs
to the sound of his voice

you feel guilty
about occupying a space
in my life
that makes me hurt

i wish you understood
that you’re the only thing
in my life
that reminds me
that my heart can still beat
through stitches