amanda

amanda Oct 2020

collapse

i guess we finally
found out

we can't both fall
and not collapse

the second
you started having
feelings for me

we started cracking

i was afraid of that

amanda Oct 2020

insomnia

i’m grateful for the nights
i can’t sleep
for the time i get to spend
with the stars—
none of us knowing
why we have to exist
in the dark,
but choosing to shine anyway

4am and counting

amanda Oct 2020

it’s not your fault

it’s not your fault
that he needed
two women
to make him happy

it’s not your fault
that she met him first

it’s not your fault
that you refuse to be second

amanda Oct 2020

alive

we keep doing this thing
because it makes us
feel alive

torture does that, ya know—

makes you keenly aware
of exactly how much blood
is left in your veins

dramatic
but not inaccurate

amanda Oct 2020

monsters

i wasn’t wrong
to fear monsters
as a girl

i just expected them
to live in the dark

not in the silence

when you don’t respond to me
i assume you’re with her
—in her—
forgetting all about me

amanda Oct 2020

starstuff

it terrifies me—
the thought

if the stars hadn’t made you...

where would all that magic
have gone?

amanda Oct 2020

chest

our life will be a series
of you
breaking my heart,
and then begging to glue it
back together—

the closest you can get
to putting your hands
on my chest