Always in the background
never gaining a second glance
people do what they think is required of them
but I never get the chance

I see you in the reflection
of the person you wish I could be
I honestly don't think I have
the ability to change

The Strength in me has waned
to the point it physically hurts to smile
knowing that around the corner...
wishing I could fall into the endless black

to relieve the stress I always seem to manage
on everyone else, to leave their lives
they would grieve, for a little while
but I could be a part of something... else.

time is endless
all powerful
yet completely relative
I can recognize the hate in myself
I see the choices lay out before me
I am almost the person of my worst nightmares
and am entirely clueless about how to get back
when I am hanging of the edge with one finger
attached to a very thin fraying thread...

Up to a point
We spend our whole lives searching for superman.
He's hard to find,
But his cape isn't completely invisible.
You can see a tiny bit peeking out from his collar.
He's already been about a kajillion people.
A mom who made you
Macaroni and cheese when you're sick.
A teacher who yelled at the other kids
When they said your glasses were stupid.
The little boy who sat with you at lunch
On your first day at that new school.
The big brother who threatened to beat up
The creepy boy who gave you your first kiss.
That first boyfriend who was there
When your cat died sophomore year.
Superman is almost impossible to find.

But then you hit that point.
Remember when I said
"Up to a point"
Well this is the horrible part.
I mean, it's god awful.
Superman gets really annoying at this part.
It's going to make you want to scream.
Just bare with me on this one.

He puts the cape
On you.
Oh yes.
Now you're superman.
Could anything be worse?
Now there is no one to save the day.
Now you must make your own macaroni and cheese,
Stand up for yourself,
Make your own friends,
Deal with your own relationships,
And handle your own emotions.

I bet your mind is churning now.
You see what I mean.
You've probably hit this point.
Now by this point,
I was furious.
I bet you are too.
You see,
You don't want to be superman.
So this is what you do.
You reject the cape.
But unfortunately for you,
Superman used some super glue.
This is permanent.

Ugh, right?
And now you're going to put all of your time
And all of your energy.
Angrily trying to figure out
Who put this cape on your back.
But you don't really want to know who.
What fun would that be
Just to scream it out
And still be left with the responsibility?
It's good to have a faceless name.
What you really want is to be mad.
I know that my favorite game
Is the blame game.
And I'm willing to bet yours is too.

What we really need to do
Are you ready for the plot twist?
Is realize that we were already Superman!
Remember the time
You did your little sister's make up for her first dance,
Or when you stayed up all night on the phone
Listening to your friend vent about her stress,
Or when you picked up the flyers
That the lady at the restaurant dropped in the street,
Or when you lent that kid two dollars
So that he could buy lunch.
Or when you went home for a visit
Just because your mother missed you.

It's been us all along.
Did you see that coming?
I sure didn't.

A cold wind
blows at my back
shouting its frigid
yells into my sails
making the anchor drag
sweeping the deck
in salty brine
I've come to know
these elements
with a one man crew
setting sail
toward something
new