I am creative in a way I cannot prove. It is unacceptable to approach a stranger and declare:
“I lay awake at night, almost always.
I take the burden of the universe upon my shoulders each evening before I can sleep and when I awake it is still there.
I want to grasp ahold of life and shake out its secrets but grasping anything is for me impossible.
I understand too much and talk too much and believe too much.
I am socially awkward and have a hard time responding to things.
I overanalyze and speculate.
I care very deeply about many things.
I cry much too easily.
I want love so badly I can’t breathe sometimes.
I want someone to peer into me and see my messy contents and be okay with it.
People have described me as coolheaded but inside I am enraged and inarticulate.
I cannot explain my exact feelings in words, so I peck at the keys and hope that a story emerges.
I am embarking on a brand new adventure and I am terrified.”
They would run from me in fear, if I said such things.

Feel the calm before the storm,
Starting fresh, but cool and deep,
It bathes the soul and all its forms
In soothing winds no one can keep.

Close your eyes and feel the waves
They take you back, you feel no pain
Your soul for now it's all you save,
You'll feel the rest when it starts to rain.

I sail deep within the clouds,
Don't brace yourself, just ride it out
As if you're overwhelmed by crowds
Of people you know none about.

The flashes pierce the dark horizon,
Wind is filled with salty drops,
The waves appear as mighty bisons,
My fear is courage, I hope it lasts.

Promised you I will be there,
Closest friends in good and sorrow,
The times of anger and despair
Are all this storm will ever swallow.

I'll ride this storm and walk with you
This path of life and what might bring,
Strength and love have just outgrew
This mighty storm and everything.

Gastly winds and fierce waves
Lift the sea way up above,
As a wall it now behaves
I am filling up with love.

And as I stare into the sea
I see myself alone and cold,
Warm within I have to be
To feel my love and to be bold.

Touched the wave as I rode higher
And felt the rain shaping my body,
I can feel the warmth and fire,
The beating hearts of everybody.

Will and love within my soul
Lit the shades and calmed the sea,
As the boat began to roll
I have seen what I can be.

For somethings I've never had
I'll do the things I never did,
Love will save me from the bad,
The heart will search for what is hid.

What do you do
when you feel useless
to the world that
you're trying to save
from yourself?

The revolution remains
in our head
un-manifested
just like us
trying to formulate
the message we want to express

Or the demons we want to slay
with telepathic laser vision
Burning through our third eyes
with our sights
set on the Goddess

The muse in the mayhem
marching away through the chaos
The thrill in the chase
is the biggest cocktease

Meeting us at our sacrificial
sacred places we like to invent
Meet me under the Moon
and I'll make you howl like
watching the best minds of our generation
destroyed by their own madness

That's how to get back at the world
that tried to make us feel useless

Surrender this dusty heart of mine
I have chased the height of my beliefs
As my lips have been colored purple
I exposed my sharp scars
Capturing spirits  in my pockets
Years of a souless sound
Battles against a noose
My mind has begun to decease
Bottles pose as my friends
The artillery of this difficult fight
As I  sleep on the currents of frozen ground
Perching on the plank
Crimson  blood in the air
The ocean of brick bones that fade
Fighting this war in vain

Dusk collapses the sunlight
The residue of my youth
Spilling clouds and existence of this dark place
Pushing to a boundless distance
Twisting into a famished prayer
Choking on teeth and a lovers obligation
Drowning veins misery drags me underneath
Repressed thoughts tight in my throat
The ocean of  sorrow painted by me