it's nasty
but i love it
the way i associate with the beauty of all the colors
the way my brush goes side to side
as i create my happiness on cheap paper

someday when we're both old brother
we'll forget everything
all the walks to sonic
all the late night trips to walmart
dying our hair together
eating candy that made us feel silly
cooking supper together
inhaling until the world around us began to morphe
picking up dog **** so I could stay the night
all the music you made me listen to
all the music i made you listen to
but it's ok
i don't think i'll ever forget how it all made me feel
like i discovered a part of me
you gave me access to
with your love
and the person i got to see you grow into
you put the life back into me

The technician says
And he's right
My hands and mind
start on the same road
but my mind wonders to field beside my vessel
and my hands follow soon
leaving my responsiblities
unfinished.
"It's who I am" I respond
The fields are beautiful
They give me instant happiness
Until the dirt road East
Calls my name too
"It is you
but what you don't realize is sooner or later
you're going to be lost
you're going to be on empty
you're going to crash."
I didn't hear him.
Guilt brought my attention back to the road
Stealing all beauty
Of what distracted me.
"You just need correction."
But
I don't want that.

if you happen to fall,
follow the stars,
i'll be there too,
i'll meet you at mars

Back in November
I shaved my head
You told me
"Do whatever you want"
I asked if you'd still find me beautiful
"Yes" you lied
I shaved my hair because it was bound
Bound in a mess of self destruction
And self hatred
Looking back
My hair was a symbol of us
And like my hair
I loved you
but I shedded you too
-"November"