im in deep water
and can't find
a hand to hold or
a ledge to grab onto
i can't even feel my
legs enough
to use them

i can't save myself
and im trying
dear god
im trying

where are you
where have you been
i need you
so badly

and now
i see you
you're standing
ten feet away
above water
turned the other way
humming tunes
filled with hesitation
anger
and mistrust

you're allowing me to
drown
to suffocate
and i'll
sink slowly
until i hit the bottom

and when you turn
around
ill be gone

then maybe you'll be happy