Sometimes even laughter can’t heal
The sadness that deep inside I feel
I don’t even have an appetite for a meal
I just wanted to get out of my life for real

Then I found a video of your journey
I suddenly found a reason not to be lonely
Although you are living far from me
But you’re the reason I’m still here

You may not be a doctor, but you’ve saved me
You may not be a compass, but you’ve guided me
You may not be a medicine, but you’ve healed me
Thank you for existing, Jihoonie

Lust,
Indulge in
Vices,
Enjoy.

Love,
Idealize,
Valorize,
Embrace.

Lust but don’t forget to love yourself.
Indulge in idealizing yourself.
Vices can also be valorized.
Enjoy and embrace who you are

Live your own life.

I feel like I’m being swallowed
By the world who is a glutton
It devours those who are weak
Someone like me
It squeezes me tight
So that I can’t fight
My bones are broken
So is my soul
No chance for me
To become whole

I was laughing
Playing games on my phone
I was giddy
Reading that romantic book
I was optimistic
Planning tomorrow’s  getaway
Then just out of the blue
My heart’s getting crushed
The violent beating doesn’t stop
My mind is getting away
The future is getting astray
My lungs is getting heavy
I took a deep breath
But its not enough
My phone pings
Another message ignored
My tears just fell
It’s getting harder to control
It creeps in
What to do?

The decorations still hung
The glasses unwashed
But silence reigned
The laughters stopped
The cake is gone
What loneliness it has become