Anchored in my place,
By the fatal news,
My tired eyes leaking,
My heart, heavy as stone,
Bleeding and torn,
I knew this day would come,
Never did I think this soon,
He always seems so young,
To my naive hazel eyes,
But to mark the day,
Of the heart-breaking event,
Makes it real for once,
No longer can I pretend,
That the sun will shine,
And God will spare him,
For two months time,
Shall come too soon,
And ****** him,
From my arms,
No matter how tight my grasp,
My heart stops at the thought,
Of seeing him so frail,
Helpless and...dying,
In the hospital bed,
Knowing how many seconds,
Minutes, hours, days,
I have left,
To say the things,
I always wanted to say,
But can never speak,
To breathe in his presence,
To feel warmth on his fingertips,
Before Death takes him,
Somewhere he'll never be found,
And leave me prey,
To grief and tears,
To watch the Earth swallow him,
In his newly dug grave,
While I stand by,
Helpless, alone,
Lost in a sea of black

I live my life from one encounter to the next;
the way a ****** lives for his next pay check.
I need my fix and every moment in between is nothing,
every moment is empty until I'm beneath you.

Wringing my hands,
As I walk down the hall,
Supressing the nausea,
My nails dig deep,
Through my soft wrists,
As I reach his door,
I hold my breath,
My heart pounds dangerously,
When I see him,
Surrounded by crisp white pillows,
And blue sheets,
He looks dead,
My mind screams,
I long to rip down the walls,
He murmurs,
Indeciferable words,
His voice rusty and unused,
I'm so scared,
Almost too scared to embrace him,
I think he might break,
The adults mummble,
Attempting to conceal,
The devestating topic of conversation,
Plans, decisions,
So many to be made,
I stifle the urge to cry,
We are all so empty,
And he is dying

Shiver.
                    Be silent,

He says:

                   *The sound,
                    Drowns my sight,
                    Keep sight,
                    A moment,
                    Be still,
                    You're only,
                    My shadow

It was too much,
Yet all in the same,
It wasn't enough,
He tore at my insides,
We fell in sync,
But I wouldn't die,
For his vanity

As usual I'm unsure,
If all he is,
Are good intentions,
Laced around the temptation,
Of curiousity,
Could there be a dark side?
The thought of such,
A delicate evil,
Revives hopeful nausea,
And the consequence,
Overwhelmes me

Her soft, silent smile,
A lie to his eyes,
Steals hope from their heavy hearts,
Why can he not see,
How much she cares,
Unwillingly so now,
But no less than before,
Yet he turns her away

I'm just trying to understand,
How could you go back,
On every honest word,
On every sombre promise,
Deny everything you told me,
Like they mean nothing

Tears fall like dew drops in the morning,
Love recalls the early hours of the dawning,
Of the fire,
In our hearts,
In our eyes,
As we lost sight of what we've won,
In our minds,
In our souls,
See how far we've come to fall,
How far we have to fall,
We have to run,
To hold on

Breathe in the sunshine,
I haven't felt it for so long,
Tell me what it tastes like,
That humble gold,
On your lips

Will you catch me
when I fall for you

I'm trembling, terrified;
that you'll look down sweetly
into my dark eyes
and hit a dead end.

It's times like this,
When the seconds drag on,
And your silence,
Becomes unbearable,
That I think about the words,
What they mean,
What do they mean?
Maybe I shouldn't trust you,
So easily, so soon,
When it's still possible,
You're no different,
From anyone else,
But it seems,
I can't help myself

I do not dream in colour,
I do not dream at all

I know I'm missing out,
But it doesn't bother me,
Not all the time,
Because mostly,
I don't feel anything,
But the pain

I love you sometimes,
when we're kids again.

Time passes me by,
A little too fast,
A little too slow,
All my efforts,
Half-hearted,
Because I don't know,
Who I am,
Anymore

I don't want to be,
Amazing,
Just something,
More than yet,
Another face,
To someone,
Who meant everything

I wouldn't mind dying,
If you held my hand,
And whispered goodbyes,
In such sweet, hushed tones,
Softly in my ear,
The way you say goodnight,
But then how could I leave you?

I wasn't expecting you
to put your hands on me
so soon. It happened so fast
and then you were all over
me and it was done. It happened
in the blink of an eye.

It's changed us but I should have
known it would, that you wouldn't
think of me afterwards.

I'm standing,
On my own now,
In the rain now,

It's been a long time,
Since I saw you,
Since we last spoke,

And now I need to know,
Where you are,
Where you were,

You promised to hold me,
When they lost me,
When they found me,

You made your vow,
To close my eyes,
To guide me home,

But I'm alone now,
I'm alone.

I don't want to make,
These same mistakes,
Yet again,
So I'm leaving,
Don't speak,
I know what you'll say,
You need to let me,
Move on,
Do the same,
Just don't try,
To put us back,
Together again

I feel my whole body soften
like wax when you hold me.
Your kisses set my skin on fire
and your eyes defibrillate my heart.

Like those summers,
Long since faded from my mind,
Not special in any obvious way,
Simply a part of my life,
Like presence, like air,
Importance unnoticed,
Immemorable

Turning pages,
Impatient,
Say something

I'm slowly dying,
In a mangled heap,
Some bloodshot dilution,
Of my former self,
Dependant on words,
Brittle and uncertain,
That hold all,
I cannot ask of you,
So I resign to this;
I'm slowly dying,
I hope it matters