"People change everyday
Wounds heal
But scars still remain in the same place"*
-Eminem

I look down
Down at those scars
Trophies, I call them
They are signs that I survived
I survived what caused them
I don't need anymore
I am satisfied with what I have
They remind me that
Nothing is worth my suffering
I keep them secret
On my thighs they hide
My quiet little Trophies

Now I know something I didn't before
It hurts my ears like a lion's roar
You were the one who was my bestfriend
I still can't believe that this is how our friendship ends

Friends forever you said that day
Just tell me d'you actually mean what you say?

I gave you my love,my heart to lend
Yes,I mean it when I call you a terrible friend
You let me know what forever means
I still remember all those scenes

Now you talk about me all the time
Wasn't all that hurting enough lime?
I added sugar till our friendship saturated
Ha! You always loved the one I hated

So today you come to me begging for my forgiveness and me
Just like I always wanted it to be
But I'm so sorry,now you can't be a part of my friendship tree

Till yesterday I was the one trying to mend
But today I want this friendship to end
For I can't risk another goodbye
I don't want to hear another lie.

Friends forever you said that day
Just tell me d'you actually mean what you say?

It's 2am and her mind wanders.
She thinks about the things she could have done.
The words said wrong.
The battles she could have won.

She goes back and relives those moments.
Moments when she was miserable
Moments that made her smile
She pens them down and tears wipe the ink away.

She thinks of the people who left her
The people who never stayed.
The people who used her like a tissue
The people who threw her out of their way

It's 3am and her mind still wanders
She thinks if the people whom she holds close to her heart are actually close.
She thinks if anybody cares.
She thinks if people know the real her.
And all she can think of is big no.

She thinks of the tears shed.
Her skin with cuts she fed.
Her memory is indeed her greatest enemy.

What is scorn but a broken back that has to lift the world?
An arrow bent, scraping through the air never to hits it's target?
I am one, but a crying soul to lift above my shoulders what my back could not.
                    What is love to bring us peace?
           Is it the toil tossed beneath our feet, trampled and torn?
Or does it live here within us, ready to swell and overflow to the empty spaces that lay void?
Bring me silence in the screeching night.
In the stillness I hear the earth wake and breathe.
I can feel the mountains shake as they stretch their rocks causing crashing avalanches of unwanted worry to the ground.
Let us break our ribs open to allow more room for love to rest inside.
Pack it in tightly, not letting any to spill out onto the floor and if it does spill,
let it overflow from our mouths and lips to each person we see.
Speaking truth and peace to each one for they are just like us.
                      
                        Lost in a unpredictable world.

Afraid of the drifting current that pushes us from one place to the next.
                        Consistency isn't consistent with me
and I want no part of conformity to live within me.
                        
                         I am a prayer.
                        
                         I am a song.
                
                         A dance and a battle cry.

I am a thousand trees never thirsty, for growth comes naturally and loneliness is just a disease and finally we found the cure:

To love yourself fully and completely and never look behind you.

For it is behind that haunts but the future welcomes.

So step boldly into the traveling circus of life that never stops running, and the freak show is the main attraction because freaks like you and me,

We're going to change the world.

Never will he perish
For he'll remain with me
Tarnishing my soul in the wake of his memory
Tangled up in my memories
Constantly blaming me
Incisively

Trenchant is his face within my mind
So hard to disguise or hide my plight
Wishing it was but never will be past-tense
His presence lingers
Pulling at my resistance
So persistent

The knots wrap tightly to my wrist
Bound to the same grounds
The thoughts place this as they manifest
Repetitious history
Evoking inevitability

I wish the tears could cleanse and mend
The taste of blood is too metallic for my pallet
As I descend bitterness fades leaving disgrace
I am not to blame but I bare the shame
However I cant regret knowing his name

You're off in the distance,
Where the fog is thick enough that
You can only see my hand in the air.

It's waving you down,
Telling you to come closer
And be where I am.

As you get closer though,
You notice my hand is waiving
A white flag because I give up.

All I ever wanted was for you
To be closer and I'm sorry it took me
Waving my hands over my head to get you near.

All I ever wanted was effort and
I didn't find what I wanted so rather
I'll wave good bye and drop the white flag in your hands.

You came near because I beckoned you
And I wish you would've came to me
Without me asking.

Take the white flag and remember me by it.
Remember that though you gave up in trying,
I didn't give up in finding someone who won't.

azure eyes and wolven breath
Her soul is the ocean, and i'm
an angel feather floating on the waters
spritely floral sniffs of the call
wilderness is my love, but so are You
night skies on Your forehead
and the moon in Your speech
solar flares in Your pupils that
sink my heart into stone
You toss out over the stagnant waters
Love is blind
sink or swim
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caught in the currents of the world
hoping to drown into myself
orange to green, blue to white
the insanity is growing
i jump off this water
and into the plasma of your thoughts
words are an escape,
but your beauty is inescapable
Death is in Your neurons
and independence in mine
It was meant to be
daisy fields of your mind
galaxies of your brain cells
let's go find a library and sink into the ground

right now
right here
i'm drowning
in thankfulness
that i feel like
i won't ever be able to
express in full,
so i write these words
to let out a little
water and get enough
space to breathe.

friendship is
the greatest gift
i have ever been
blessed with.
i'm indebted to you
in a way i could
never pay you back.
i know i haven't
been a good influence.
i was always bad
at being good.
i'm expelled now
and you're still here
by my side.
i know i saved you
from this punishment
but that won't ever be
enough.
even the most
taboo of my thoughts
don't send you running
and that dumbfounds me.
the moment that we have to leave
and part ways, is the moment
a piece of my soul is going to
die. i love you.
know that,
no matter what,
you will
always
have
me
as
a
friend.