Honestly,
I’m glad I’m different
Because it means
That I don’t have to deal with you
Or your ****
Or anybody like you, dad
Because I’m different
I guess you
And your Southern Baptist friends
And your Catholic girlfriend
All think I’m going to burn in hell.
Well, NEWSFLASH,
You’ve been divorced three times
You’ve had four kids from three different mothers
You used to do heavy drugs (don’t think I don’t know)
You’re emotionally and verbally abusive
You have a ******* *** kit under your bed
I’ve seen the noose-knot ropes tied down there
Your girlfriend has been divorced twice
Is verbally, emotionally and physically abusive
HAS GAY FRIENDS
And used to misuse steroids.
So, before you try to preach to me
Why don’t you take a look in the mirror
Re-evaluate your ****** decisions
And get back to me.
Because I was born like this
There’s nothing anyone can do to stop it.
You made awful choices
That you knew better than to make.
So, *******
About your misconceptions
Because I did nothing wrong.
You did.

I love you
My heart is yours
I wish
My body knew yours
And not his
Because when I’m with him
You’re all I can think about
You are my everything
But he’s here
When you’re not
I wish I could see you
Hold your hand
Kiss you
But you’re not here
And that’s not possible
I wish I knew
Where you go
When you leave on weekends
Because then
Maybe
I could see you
You mean so ******* much to me
You are my happiness
And I miss you
I miss that
You help ease my anxiety
You make me so ******* happy
I think of you
And I smile
I hear your voice
Inside my head, that is,
And I feel safe
And my heart beats wildly
I see your smile
Again, inside my head,
Because who could forget something that beautiful,
And I blush
My stomach flip-flops
I hear
Or read
Your name
And my skin tingles
I get more
Than a little excited
I’m not sure why
It’s so easy to write all of this down
And post it all over the internet
But not tell you
Why couldn’t I tell you
Until right before I left?
Perhaps,
If I had told you sooner
How I really feel
This could have been different.
I miss you like hell
I hope you miss me, too.
Please,
Just remember:
I l o v e y o u…

i'm sorry.
i ****** up.

why is it so
******* hard
for you to realise
that i’ll always be your
child, your blood
and that’s never going to change
just because the gender
i was assigned at birth
is different
than my real one
doesn’t mean
i’ll stop loving you
because you’re my dad
and i love you more than anything
i hate myself
so ******* much
i don’t think you
really know
that i wish i wasn’t like this
it’s not because i think it’s cool
or cute or a joke
i hate this body
i was born in
i want it to change
i know that
i’ll never really escape this
that you’ll always
see me as the little girl they told you i was
but i really
really
really
hate who i am
i would rather die
than stay trapped inside this body
i love you so much
i hope you know that
because you are everything to me
and i don’t want to lose you, too.

my poetry
is just a bunch
of pretty, nonsensical
ways to tell you
all of you
that i want to die
the rest of my poetry
is about him
or you, if you’re reading it
(you know who you are)

I keep saying goodbye
After goodbye
Who knew
It would be this hard?
I don’t want to leave you
You’ve all helped me grow.
You mean more to me
Than you realise
You are so **** important to me
You are my family
And I’m leaving you forever.
I love you
And I hope I’ll see you again.

WHEN I THINK OF YOU
I EITHER HAVE NO HEARTBEAT AT ALL
OR IT QUICKENS TO IMPOSSIBLE SPEEDS

don’t
let
me
be
gone
you
are
all
that
i
have
left
DON’T
LET
ME
BE
GONE

i
ship
us
together
so
****
hard
they
ship
us
too

I’M NOT READY
TO LOSE
YOU

i want to go to a café with you
it’s cliché, i know
but it sounds like fun
smelling the coffee
using their free wifi
laughing
holding hands
and escaping from the outside world.

i stare into the sky
the vast emptiness
the stars
the moon
the planets
the cosmos
it’s so
m o z z a f i a t o

Not good enough
No,
I’m not good enough
I never have been
And I will never be good enough
Never ******* good enough

When I look at your eyes
I experience
Opia
It’s like
You’re staring into my soul
Unforgivingly
Unapologetically
Mercilessly.
I’m fine with that.

He made
My inner
Tsunami die
Down to a
Gentle rain

This is SENSUCHT.
This feeling I have,
The longing for something far away.
I want happiness
But it’s too far
Out of reach
Incomprehensible.