it takes me so much energy
to get to a place
that still isn't good enough

i'm walking backwards
i'm living in a unfinished poem
i'm chasing smoke
reasons dissolving like moth wings
shards of glass live in this feeling

Maybe one day we’ll end up together.
Sharing a bed and talking about what we want for dinner.
Immersed in a mundane magic
A routine ecstasy
That’s all I want for you and me

You watch his tired eyes and matted hair
A paper coffee cup, an unfinished poem
He is inside the trappings of a panoply
Twitching a calloused finger towards discomposure
Watching as what is not there makes itself ever more present
Staring as moth wings of yearning marry the air
Letters scarce and doubt plentiful
Despondence is the new norm
The next day his seat is empty
A stranger takes his place
You watch her tired eyes and matted hair