I start my days out with the sunrise
Along the eastern shore.
Watching as the morning appears
From up the ocean floor.

The air heavy with anticipation
As another day begins.
This day I choose of my own making.
Partaking of blessings Heaven sent.

I end my days with a sunset
On the Western coast of the land.
The day ends with a bang
As I watch on golden sand.

The sky has exploded
In oranges and pinks.
I have this time before the stars
To sit and watch and think.

Of what will come before me?
Waves washing away moments lost.
Pulling back the shade to expose the day,
Though I'm not here to count the cost.

No guiding lines to follow.
I expect of life no less.
Through the shadows of the mountains
The night's sun sets in the west.

I think of green grass
I once saw in the east.
I think of days long gone passed,
And am overcome with peace.

The sun may rise a thousand times
By the day the end is in reach.
No worries about what has come and is to come.
I just go with the bend in the beach.

They say it's the distance that kills the flame
Puff sizzle and pop
The dying ember of love screaming its last breath
To the stars
The moon

Heavens ears are muted
These wailing screeching tryst
Happen daily
Yearly
The product of love that laid to close
Curdling like sour milk in the jealous heart
Burning like rancid acid
Chinese water torture to the brain
Maddening mundanity to fill the void of meaning
Like monkeys their minds seek to dull it's own screams
Love left rotting

Stinking in the distance that dragged it further spreading the filth
But the distance isn't the deceiver at least one can see the evidence of betrayal
Before it sneaks behind
And stabs them with their own thoughts
Confuse them with their own feelings
And drag them under to feast on their own flesh

No distance doesn't ******
It is the heart that deceives
It is the heart that renders false reality
Blinds the eyes to its own pain
And tricks the tongue to speak
Where it has no place

It is the heart that is its own martyr
The godly victim
Whom's motive is selfish
To **** what wounds it
But it's justice is the death of itself

And these sheets held love
Whispered  melting
Scalding devotions
Held the iron hot to brand itself the dutiful
But in obligation left once more
Leaving blood fresh
The heart murdered once more

i see you in the silence
and the blanks of
mind. crazy how violence
says more about love
and its power. the contrast
is fading unlike your
eyebrows, and the last
drop of sanity hits the floor.
thoughts of you as
your actual presence,
because your absence has
finished its evanescence.

You must be willing to take the first step
In what could well be the very last time
Let go of the anger
and resentment you've kept
Setting free both your heart and your mind

No more looking back in the mirror
The reflection of what could have been
Must vanish for you
so you can see clearer
Letting the world that haunts you grow dim

It's a constant struggle to keep hope alive
Giving it all that you have left
As you try and avoid
all the struggles in life
Where so many years you've laid your head

The pain of the past invades your night
Still being the least of all your fears
Waking up to this
still won't make it right
Until you wake up to the lost years

Take the first step

Zooming in your inner self
Self reflection
a mandatory
Self realization
to know whats best
To realize your weakness
To reveal your mistakes
So you'd be wiser
as you experience
progress in the life journey

a quiet moment for yourself
for once....
the clock ticks slow...
in the wee  hours of  silence
the night is getting cold
You weep yourself
as you put your head down
your forehead touches the praying mat
say your prayers between your breath
asking god to forgive your sins...
hoping god to listen...
begging god to fulfill your wishes
drench with honest tears..
tears is soul purification
tears can cleanse your soul...
to make it as pure as gold..
again..

I’m running
Through a dense brush
Trees so thick I can’t see ahead
But daylight creeps in
Teasing me
Of salvation, with dehydration

I come to a clearing
Only to face desert
Blazing sun
Blaring noises
In my mind, driving me mad
Propelling my onward
Upward
Crashing back down

Arms outstretched
Soaring in my mind
Never leaving the ground
Feet aching, breathless and enduring
This fatigue

I think I can see the end
Just a line in the sand
This endless desert we cross
Until we close our eyes
That sleep we’ve been hiding from

Wake me up
Lace me up
Mess me up

I’ll just keep going
Until the daylight ends
Along with my lies
Across this terrain to your door

Fed up
Messed up
Please oh please
Knock knock
Open up

It's sad that as we grow up the brightness in our eyes dims,
Our faith and hope gradually slim.

The stars disappear, they aren't as bright,
It all becomes opaque, the caliginous night.

Our voices get softer, our fear louder,
We prefer to be lonesome, oh we're such downers.

The last of our emotions drip out, the color in our skin drains out,
You don't hear not a sound out of us, though trust me, we want to scream and shout.

Our hearts expand but get quieter,
Filled with sorrow- heavy yet at the same time lighter.

We become so very lost,
We yearn for happiness, though we all know it'll cost.

Can't help but feel scared, paranoid,
We'll do anything to help fill the void.

We feel an emptiness in us- start missing nothing,
We want to learn how to trust, give us something..

It's sad that as we grow up the brightness in our eyes dims,
Our faith and hope gradually slim.

glide the sharpened blade
of a sacrificial knife
up and down my wrists
then up to my throbbing throat

so similar this seems
remembering her fingers
glide across my skin
as we became like the Sabbatical goat

neither her nor I
were either inside or out side
we were as Baphomet
and we did float

brush strokes, of our blood
used to paint the figure we were becoming
something worthy of worship
as our nails dug into eachothers sides

Oh, I could feel her ferocity
trying to get inside of me
Oh, though she could only follow me
as I follow her-like the moon and the tides


her soft lip, whispered something to me
up against my warm throbbing neck
as her hips continued to sway like the seas
and she said something to me that put a shake in my knees,

"I love to feel your heart beating
deep within me, like a serpent's in me
now feel mine on your lips
can you feel us?
Can you feel
when our souls kiss?"

I had to hold on tighter to her
as she did to me
as we spiraled away
into certain bliss

our bodies were no more
nothing but ecstasy we became
boom, bloom, eyes like blackholes
and like nubulas, we came

and there we drifted
within what is us






I am not sure if she ever came back down
her presence now is like a winds gust



so I sit here
with this sacrificial knife

teasing my belief
in tangible life

finally, I get a smile from her
as she stands in front of the sun
an so innocently says,
"Ooh, that looks fun"

"It is,
it's better than pictures."

"Even a mirror?"

"Yes, even a mirror"


"How do you do it?"

"Just breathe, and remember."

"But, what if I bleed?"

"All the better, take a sip and remember."













"We were dead, weren't we?"

"Yes, my love, yes indeed."