I can't tell you how long it been
I can't even place a what or when
all I know
is this feeling
inside me
eating me softly
away I go

if only you could realize
what's happening to me inside
it could all make sense
if i
put the pieces of the puzzle together
but I seem to be missing a piece
where oh where could it be?

I'm drifting away
I'm in the sand and the moon and the ocean blue
I'm everywhere you can't be
anything to be far from you

in a snap, it could all make sense
but I see from the distance


you would never even know
id just be a ghost in your past
oh, I can't wait till we're miles and miles apart
oh no,

you'd be so surprised
if you found out about my life
it's so unreal
I can't even feel
anymore
living a nightmare
is not what I chose
how could I ever be such a fool?
if not for you
if not for me
then who?
who could it be?

caged up emotions
bottled deep down inside
my mind is a zoo
slowly eating me alive
inch by inch
I can't even begin to tell you what's left of me
if I introduced myself, you would never recognize
bruises and scars invisible to the crowd
existing just to die
is this life?

sometimes I forget to breathe
other times, I don't want to
I'm sick and tired of struggling
it's a never-ending option
funny, isn't it?
people claim to care about you and how you're doing but who really asks?
good intentions are hard to find

nobody could ever truly understand my mind

I cry myself to sleep at night
and show up to work the next day like I'm alive,
mysterious or just well hidden?
I ask myself that every day

constantly struggling between dreams and reality
drained of this mentality
forced to be part of the unknown
....

strong enough not to stream tears down my face yet weak enough to feel emotions like lightning
on the inside, I'm slightly dying
I won't go down without a fight

she never cried in front of me
was I too blind to see?
if only
if only someone would believe

all of these crazy stories
sounded so interesting
hard to wrap my mind
into understanding

if only

hell is my favorite place to be
at least here they accept me
tired of bleeding all over the floor
I don't feel wanted anymore


all I do is scream and shout
I'm just asking for some help
how can anyone show up
if they're never around?

all I ever hear is silence
my heartbeats slightly
my memories so fondly
fading away


if you're never around
who am I to call?
whose gonna answer the phone?
before I pass...

"tf out"....