I'm so sorry

I wish I was as in love with living
As I am in love with you

But I promise, I will stay
Just a little while longer

Because that is all you ask of me

Wolf Blankets
St. Louis Blues Throw
Axe Body Spray
Cotton Candy Vape Juice
Teddy Bear
Favorite Shirt
Batman Joggers

And at the end of the day,
These old things are new
Because each one reminds me,
Each one smells like you.

A million and one,
A million and two,
There's a million of me
But only one of you.

A million and three,
A million and four,
There's a million times
I'll say "I love you more."

A million and five,
A million and six,
There's a million things
We don't need to fix.

A million and seven,
A million and eight,
There's a million more nights
That we could stay up late.

A million and nine,
A million and ten,
There's a million ways
For this poem to end.

And though simple is my request,
It is a feat to fulfill.
An outsider's mind may see it as they perceive it,
And I may see it quite differently,
But one only sees what they want to.
Their mind's eye is no stranger to its own selective viewing,
A strange feeling at first,
However quickly adapted to.

I am so sick and tired of
The poems
And the journals,
And the words,
That I write
That are not me.  

I am so sick and tired of
The sighs
And the noises,
And the breaths,
That are not
Mine to keep.

I am so sick and tired of
The dreams
And the talks,
And the conversations,
That never last
Long enough it seems.

But I can't find it in me to be sick and tired of
Your heart
And your eyes,
And your hands,
That know just how

To love me.

He's a little Poe Boy - always a little off,
He's a little gruesome, always in his thoughts.
He's always so sad, overthinks more than he ought,
But he's a little Poe Boy - guess he wasn't what I sought.

What

Do

You

Do

When

You're

Terrified

Of

Everything?

I will admit,
I am an addict.
I am a liar.
I am broken, I am bruised, I am beaten.
I am needy.
I am dumb.
I am hurting, I am haunted, I am hopeless.

But you ask me to be everything for you, and so I am.
I must be comfort.
I must be understanding.
I must be stable, I must be stone, I must be strong.
I must not get mad.
I must be patient.
I must be love, I must be kind, I must be unperturbed.

And all I ask of you
Is that you are there.

The 96 is gone,
And with it,
You seem different.
The 96 is gone,
And without it,
I doubt it,
I doubt it would
Feel the same,
If he ever came back
If he he never came
If he returned
Please, please return
And be who you were
But no,
I can't wish that
I can't wish for
The past,
For history,
To repeat itself
One more time for me
Are you the same?
Please be the same.
I'm going insane
I'm losing my brain

Annoying girls in my class,
You cause me a festering hatred of all that my generation is.
I am pained by the lack of apparent brain in your heads,
You mindless drones,
You brainless robots,
You plastic dolls,
You "do-what-you're-told" barbies.
I think one day you shall find
That drones can be defective,
Robots can malfunction,
Plastic dolls can burn,
And barbies get abandoned.

And now that I think of it,
The deed was not so hard done.
Given the conditions,
Given how perfectly it was laid out.

He hurt you, but he cannot hurt anyone else now.
He cannot ruin another young child's life and he can never reach down the pants of anyone again.

Call me mad, call me crazy, but I have done what no one was prepared to do.
I listened to her and I became livid.
What he had done, what he had said.
His actions and what he told her to say,
How he told her to 'keep quiet',
'It's a game.'

Now tell me old man,
Are you laughing as I watch above you,
scarlet streams travelling down your neck and soaking the mattress beneath you?
Do you think it's a game,
Awakening to a knife at your person,
millimeters away from taking whatever air you have left in you?

Now you can laugh no more,
You cannot hurt anyone again.
While the blood oozes in the sheets and you lay there dull,
Shadows cast themselves across your face
And I find myself also wishing that you are ******.

And now, I must clean up. Or better yet,
I will stay here. I will sit here until someone comes to check on you.
And then they will see the scene and I will not need to confess,
I will not plead not guilty.
The deed was done by me and I am not afraid for whatever comes next.
I am not afraid of the consequences,
They can do whatever they must.
I will tell them of what you've done.
I will tell them why I did what I did,
And I will not apologize for taking what was left of the miserable life you had.

Rip me apart,

You're so beautiful.

Rip out my heart,

Done so undutiful.

Whoever told you that life would be easy is lying to you,

But if they also told you that life is meaningless,

That's a lie, too.

I bet if you could have any wish, you'd wish for a sky full of...
Cars.

All of the fastest ones,
All of the coolest ones,
All of the most souped up ones.

But I bet,
That even if you got your wish,

No matter how remodeled the car is,
No matter how cool the car is,
No matter how fast the car is,

You still can't seem to find a way to be here when I need you.

Calculators,
Instigators,
Take the easy way out-inators.

Protractors,
Bad actors,
Won't help me find the right factors.

Scratch paper,
Senseless caper,
I want to jump off a skyscraper.

Let's write a story, you and I,
In words and touches and looks and kisses
Let's fill the pages
Of this book of wishes.
Can we dance across the words of the pages we make
And love in the corners of every paragraph break?

I'm not sure how we ended up this far
From what we wanted to be
We used to aim for the stars
It's so crazy
To let the one you hold dear
Tell you the biggest lies
Become your biggest fear
We used to dream of a life
Where we would be alright
But that's all gone now
You had your head in the clouds
Now you got both feet on the ground
And I'm scared that your mind is working against you
I can't keep hold of you
You're gone, you're lost, there's no trust
In what we once had
Was it only lust?
I feel you slipping away
Day after day
You say that you'll never leave, that you'll always stay
You'll always be there until the very end
But those are only words
You break when you bend
You're so easy to manipulate
With the drugs and the girls
I thought it was our fate,
To go against the world
To prove them wrong
To put up a fight
But you're stuck now
Locked up another night
Another scream coming from my closed mouth
You call me when you're in, but never when you're out
You say that we can be friends
But it hurts too much
Is this really the end?
I need to feel your touch
But I can't
I'm in a trance
I need to run away
As far, as fast, as I can get in a day
Or two
However long it takes
To be free from you
And all of the lies,
All of the mistakes
That I made
When I gave up and gave in
To every excuse that you made up
I wanna be rid of you now
I'll say it loud
That I'm so glad, after all this time
Of me and you and you and me
I can finally see
Where I ****** up
You're no good for me
I took so long
But now I'm moving on
I don't need the lies,
The ties
To you
That kept me up all night
Just crying
In the dark
I wanted to save any spark
We had,
You mad?
You were always making me sad
You know
That we can add
All the times you did something bad
But I stuck around thinkin we'd make it through,
Looking back now
If I only knew
That it was never us,
It was only you
It was you who went to jail
It was you who needed bail
It was you who told tall tales
We always knew this love would fail
It would fall into a hole
This was the coffin's final nail
We never had a solid goal
Because your plans are always changing,
They're ranging
From like to love to lust
You're always breaking my trust
But I think that it's high time
I got the ***** to say goodbye
We'll never be "us" again
Since you wanna be "just friends"