Tell me again about how the caterpillars in your stomach metamorphosed into butterflies that fluttered around when frankie walked through the door.
Leave out the part about the butterflies' stagnation,
how eventually they reverted back to caterpillars and mistook your insides for leaves;
because we can't stay in another day just listening to Au Revoir Simone with that same story rolling off your tongue.
darling, it is starting to leave unkissable burns on your mouth.

When you meet someone in a coffee shop to say goodbye, as friends or lovers or family
and you know you are far more emotional because this goodbye has no time limit,

1)get a larger drink than the person you are saying goodbye to, sip slow, look at them and take it in. how their eyes wrinkle when they laugh, how their eyes keep looking at you and away because they don't want to sit for too long because they've known you and they know you could cry at any moment

2) when they finish their drink, you will still have some left
they shall get up 'well i better be going' to make it seem less permanent  
you will both smile and say you'll keep in touch. Keep talking to stop from looking sad cause you know you won't  

3) say 'i still have some of my tea' implying you will stay behind

4)hug and exchange really sweet words. Now, because you are sentimental you will want to cry there and then.

5)DO NOT!!

6)This had been a long time coming

7)they will walk away

8)you will take a breath, sit back down

9)it's ok that your eyes are so teary you can barely see your mug of tea
it's ok that the couple next to you are looking at you

10)give yourself some time before you leave the coffee shop.

My heart is an overflowing suitcase my red dress you liked so much the one with the horses is spilling out along with that jumper you wore once and the shirt i bought for 50p in bricklane
my insecurities have been buried deep but they are demanding to see the sun now
i sit on my suitcase in a crowded airport
i don't know where i'm going
all i have is this overflowing suitcase, no ticket, where am i going?
Many strangers have walked by, some had friendly faces so i whispered sometimes shouted:
'a little help'
mostly non have stopped
the few that have, leave me with old memories they no longer want to hold on to and i've become accustomed to carrying the burdens... i think they can see it on my face
so i pretend i have room in my suitcase
after all i'm not really going anywhere
and they seem to be

lately all i have to come home to are 'i told you sos'
i climb into bed, fetal position and they cling to my back and loudly whisper in my ears,
'what did you expect, why did you move of course that was never going to turn into anything'
and i don't ask the i told you sos to stop saying i told you so
This is my bed. I made it. So i'll have to lay in it
but i swear some days it's like someone's made it for me and i still have to lay in it.
These are all excuses because you told me so
and i never listen because i'm always hoping your i told you sos will be wrong
they were right tonight and i held my own hand as my stomach snapped into two and i cried a cry so deep i felt it in my womb and i said yes you were right it wasn't gonna work
yes you were right
it wasn't good enough and my eyes dry shut stained with this liquid that's become so familiar
yes you were right
what was i thinking

what was i thinking