Dealing with a new lead was refreshing he preferred to focus on the work and be left alone. He open to change but feels insulted when people only contact him when he needs something. Trying to be noble and fair with his peeps. Reaching out being ignored was frustrating now that he's doing his own thing. Formal peeps show up with bad news ruining his day. Trying to stay connected with peeps who mattered while avoid those that made him feel worthless.
Nervous for the change rising taking on more responsibility because it was a younger crew while the old retired. He was use to them making the calls as he followed. He was in the hot seat taking charge taking control of the out of the awkward situations.

He went to work and dealt with his useless lead that abused his power. Talking about respect but one of the most disrespectful jerks you ever met. The old school vs the new school trying to rise up but the older generation being a roadblock putting roadblocks and detours rigging things in their favor. He was tired of made up rules and social standards no one loved up to or followed.
People didn't like that he asked questions wondering why? Why is it like this why can't we just get along coexist with one another. They caused the conflict now mad blaming everyone but themselves for their misconduct. You can't treat people and no one deserves to be treated bad because they have a different opinion or knows more keeping them excluded.

He was stressed over work becoming a lead. His family didn't agree so it felt like they were against him. It all went away when he put on the mitts training with his cousin forgetting all the BS and the nonsense.
It felt right worthy of his time he could be himself while challenging him to be better. Enjoying the cardio seeing and feeling the combo process in his head. Kicks and punches working on form and technique.
He had something to call his own while everything he felt like it was outta control. No say or control making the most of everything. Breaking away from family because they brought out the worse instead of making him better. The job sight was demanding working to keep the standards doing the work and extra pleasing ungrateful people but staying on top of things feeling pressured.

He felt bad for not being there but didn't like all the slander spread about his name. From the old to new he didn't like change but he was changing. Thankful and glad to to be growing. He couldn't stay the same. While others hold onto his past thinking it will be a tool to be used against him.
Not his crowd anymore not part of that life. He'd fight for them and they'd fight against him in a heart beat waiting for the moment. They'd use the numbers against him rather talk to him individually.

He was being social reaching out to old peers hoping that he could chat it up be himself. It was fun to catch up instead of being kept out. Taking on bad attitudes not feeding into bad vibes.
Motivation by the uninspired when around them. With the overachievers not feeling on that level working twice as hard behind the scenes working in private.
Being positive around negative people staying out of the drama being more private but feeling isolated by those that he cared for not feeling like an equal among them.

He was in a relationship and his female companion decided to confess her feelings for him. She made him feel awkward putting him in a situation he wanted but not at the current moment. He had feelings for her but he would remain loyal to his gf.
Why did they admit; how they felt, after he messed up, but he never knew he had a chance with her. He was a good friend didn't let his feelings get the best of him. He never acted on those emotions because he didn't like feeling vunerable or being used most of all being taken for granted.

He was learning the mechanics of the clench hand placement on the elbow and collar. Even cupping the back of the neck so that he could have control while throwing knees.
Going through the drill dishing out working on form. While takin the punishment on a higher tempo while taking knee strikes.
Learning more and more adding to his arsenal. He enjoyed training MMA so much to work on kicks and punches take downs, also ground game that he worked on.

Wide awake thinking about the day what's next? Staying clear of drama things that hurt him or made him mad. He didn't feed into toxic vibes or empower negative idiots.
He sat in his room writing thinking about the plan before jumping into action. Having an idea instead of assuming the outcome usually trying to make it through the day.
Dating is fun but he was private everyone tried to tell him how to live and who to be he didn't like that. Mean while dealing the younger generation trying to tell him when he had done way more. Everyone was quick to judge he didn't say or do anything to anyone.
He gave relationship advice to help but he was single. Gave parent advice for the kids best interest but the parent only card about feeding those bad habits. He meant well positive intensions while they tried to throw him under making him the scapegoat.

He looked at pix of old friends wondering how they are he missed them. Some were busy with families others wanted nothing to do with him. He made mistakes and stayed away he was sorry but would never be treated the same or seen an equal.
He could only lower himself for so long tired of lowering himself feeling degraded for forgiveness. Things would never change or be the same so he had to cut the cord and move on. They weren't saving his place but pushing him out. It was tough learned the hard way there was no going back. He was human tired of everyone trying to make him out to be a crazy person since he had an opinion and spoke his mind.

He was so use to the same old crap being ignored and kept out. Once he went into the world people found him interesting and talked to him. It was all new and different. Stuck in a routine only working and sleep the world seemed so young and fresh while he was was older feeling dull.
Missing his youth because the new generations filled in those empty slots. While his peers had kids got married or just working a mind numbing job that occupied their time.
Feeling hidden from the world trying to stay in control even though things are out of control for the most of the time. Broken from the past feeling healed like a whole in the present moment. The transition was very complicated always starting over with relationships or friendships learning to not get attached since people are usually just passing through.

He sat at the bar with a buzz chilling with his cousin. He admired the bartender her beauty young hot body blonde. He enjoyed the night a colleague from work would swing by for a drink. Enjoying pizza and great company. He was older wondering if he still had it.
His coworkers envied him because he has hair and single. While he wanted to be in a relationship with kids. He lived a lonely life and made the most of things. He had been a wild one but it got old dull most of all boring.

He kept pushing through now he was alone. Waiting and walking among peers felt like he was missing out or could be doing more. Not going up on his individualism refused to be another face in a crowd.
He felt things that had become so distant. Friends and social interaction wasn't the same it seemed better this time around. He usually went to work and home to sleep.
He'd work hard writing while listening to podcast. Faded out of all the family drama. He was free no kids or relationship to limit him. He did try to take on family values but too many rules are made that keep him out feeling excluded in a room among loved ones.

Why did he feel or at that way he was either uptight or free spirit. He just wanted to be free of judgement but found not everyone is going to like him.
Hearing from an old friend wondering what does it mean is she going to visit. He had feelings but valued her as a friend over his ****** urges that would prolly ruin a good friendship. They got along better a relationship might ruin things between them.
He was confused in a relationship everyone seemed interested while single no one cared or gave him the time of day.
He lay in his bed hung over trying to figure out which path to take on the crossroads that made him decide what he wanted to do.

Looking in the mirror staying optimistic. Thinking of getting back into the social seen in his late 30s thinking it might be different. Since he wasn't the same as before. He knew better knowing his choices could make him fall back into bad habits.
He thought about dating but felt too old for the crowd. He missed his opportunity with people his age but was learning to network hopefully find more like minded people which was harder to do now a days.
He worked hard for his and no one seemed to match his energy. He gave more than most and others never put forth any in return. Not sure what he wanted since he was setting new goals. It took a while for him but he made it to somewhere better. He was only going forward not looking back.
He would remember things that made him hold back scared to be in the same boat. Making the same mistakes taking a deep breaths composing himself. Staying sharp and focused resetting his feelings and emotions to not fall back into those bad routines.

Home sick for a place the heart craves
That's felt in the heart deprived
But never been there desired to escape
A place where you can feel
Relax without protecting your heart
Be yourself without criticism
Feeling at the edge ready to jump
The fatal fall that changes everything
Going forward not back staying strong
Escape into the dream set free
Lost in the moment feeling whole
The world makes sense at the time
Trying to make it a reality
Dead inside the dream lives on

He'd give everything up for everyone he loved. After a while he felt taken for granted overwhelmed. He thought highly of them and they treated him like he was worthless. Treating them fair telling him he was crazy.
Able to step outside of his comfort zone tired of feeling boxed in. Shining more while everyone gave him crap causing him to doubt himself.
Part of the team hoping everything works itself out instead of false promises and ideal outcomes

As his elders retired he felt the pressure being in the heart of the town the curb appeal would need to be kept up. The bar was set high but no pressure that was the joke among the crew.
Change was coming the trio awaited their fourth member all they wanted was someone who worked and got their stuff done took pride in their work. Not expecting too much but did want this person to carry their load fill that burden without designating it to others.

He was a fighter too many snakes slithering like if they believed in him. They opposed him and usually against him. What did they want why are they being so nice when he was use to them being cut throat. He didn't want them riding his coat tail. He didn't want to associate with them.
Everyone grew distant at one point was very close. Divided because everyone would taunt and provoke you comparing your life with those that aren't like you.

Pushing back against the lies
Being mentally abused by opposers
Emotionally scared opening his heart
Physically exhausted coming up short
Busting his **** still denied his efforts
Told the truth seen as crazy out of line
Had an opinion considered delusional
In the trenches doing the hard work
Others observe trying to sabotage
With the team taking on the pressure

Hanging by the jacuzzi trying to relax unwind always on the go busy at work no time for a social life. Had a beer or two for a buzz not getting wasted or smashed self destruction isolated pity party.
Having fun socializing with the crowd instead of being antisocial usually anti establishment. Working on being better than losing it over people who don't value or care about you.

Not a big guy but his heart meant well
His love caused hurt due to betrayal
Giving his all running on fumes
Watching them grow on the go
Love from a distance much resistance Rep ruined staying away to keep loved ones safe
Can't force things need time to heal
One day everyone will understand
Instead of conditional love with terms
Tired of being squeezed everyone remains the same

Talking a good friend about his plan. Ready to do more feels like it's not enough. A late start a late bloomer on the rise and on the go. His first relationship was a one nighter that got complicated. Trying to finish his degree but it finished him. Plotting to go back not over worked or burnt out. Trying to balance out coaching and get back into training made himself available which made everything seem like a waste of time.

Being told to travel enjoy being single. People with kids tell him taking their advice. Being wise open to learn and grow teaching him even though. He preferred to be behind the scenes than be up front taking on the bad that's dumped on his lap. When things are well he's ignored and forgotten.
Asking questions so he could know since he hated waiting on others and relying on others since he was the one who would take on that burden.

His hard work was paying off. Setting new goals being told by his mentor he might be the boss one day. It was a high honor complement. He did get them but was still not use to it. Others quick to point out the flaw instead of give props for all the effort.
Working in a team leading by example open to grow and learn everything not one to wait on anyone. Hard to rely on anyone but made himself reliable this was strong towards his work etiquette. Working with a team that does their part that doesn't pass it to others.  He said "Don't leave it for the next guy, be the guy, who gets it done, make it happen.

Found some success new goals
Missing family everyone head strong
Chasing a dream no one understands
Everyone has their plans to follow
Trying to share success that's knocked
Lots of imposition be happy for others
Their hatred ruining everything
Not allowing it anymore
Staying away to keep the peace
Ribbing one another as a joke
Everything becomes personal
Everyone talks but can't take it
Not respect expecting sympathy
Running things to the ground
Then have the nerve to complain

Feeling free coping with emotions
Sober in a toxic world
Honest in a cruel crowd
Being kept out but will shine
Somewhere else fine true love
All the betrayal made him strong
The hatred couldn't be consume him
Overlooked by family shut him down
Made him believe in himself

He was given a rod excited to go fishing. So many styles depending on the water and type of fish. Such a pricy hobby, but he's loving it. They encouraged him it was motivating and inspiring.
Get out there, and do it that's how you learn get to the next level. Talking about quiting becoming a pro. Inspired by a dream not many pursue it. Keep on writing, keep on fighting to catch the prize lots of seeing it thinking about it.

Cutting off negative people use to being rejected. Talking no one is listening told the truth everyone thinks your salty. When you win they judge treat you like the enemy. Growing up poor, staying humble; don't need to be reminded.
Picking and choosing when they like you. Losing things thinking you'll never rise up. They deflate your head, knock you down; thinking those harsh words are doing you a favor. Don't care for that it doesn't help.

Stop trying to probe other so you could have the upper hand. Everyone has problems or going through something your set up doesn't help. Making people feel uncomfortable trying to make them say something you might find empowering in your favor.
Leave people alone your interrogation is uncalled for. Giving advice no one asked for. Talking to people like they are dumb is insulting then expecting them to follow your false ideals. Family or not treat people right and they'll take your opinion into consideration.

Not always liked but remained loyal
Doing his thing not holding back
Because it was the right thing to do
He was interested but she belonged to someone else
Respecting what's not his an outsider
He wouldn't want anyone doing it to him
An outsider looking in told the truth
Had an opinion it's okay to have one
Usually asked not one to impose
Admired from a distance not the one

Working hard to pursue a dream
Head fight hard work for it
Till he made it didn't happen right away
Wanting his family but everyone had their own life to live
Their own struggles to conquer opinions and mindsets
He made it being a contender finally got his shot
Missing family looked at as crazy
Determined to be someone
years of feeling excluded
Being treated like a no body
Prove them wrong doing something right
Years of being discouraged
Always in the back of his mind
Bouncing back from injuries
Failed relationships told he wasn't good enough
They didn't believe in him
But he believed in himself
Found a way ran with opportunity

Always working Fear of missing out
Around nothing seems to be going on
Smiled at a friend great conversation
Trying to get it done so much going on
Included as a distraction get things done
Excluded still focused to get ahead
Usually coming out even

He didn't care what others thought
Not use to complements was a change
Usually back handed complements
Didn't act or dress extra at work
Just did his tasks and went home
Never the first pick but did stand out
Staying motivated the crew was down
Some days filled with good vibes
Others lagging getting through
Not afraid to try lead by example
No hard feelings or personal thoughts
Just staying goal oriented to finish
Changing up the routine other ways
Bringing up the standards next level
Staying strong the end of originals
Moving on with the next generation
Standards left high to meet the goal
Taking over honoring those before
Using the passed on knowledge

Writing his story asking who would appreciate this or would find this amusing a boy forced to grow up and as an adult still figuring it out. He didn't have any role models mostly the stuff he seen on TV. He thought any life was better than the one he was born into. His family was not what you saw on TV. He expected and wanted more out of life.
He did some of the traditional things but felt like part of him got lost/stuck in the transition. The more he wanted in they kept him out. When he walked away after being excluded they had the nerve to say he was head strong had a bad attitude delusional because he had goals and dreams. They couldn't help him, so he got it else where.

Respecting people are on different levels but not going back down. He had no problem working. He had problems with lazy people that tried to talk him down because they chose to flat line. He refused to sink to their level when drama had nothing to do with him. He preferred to mind his business do his job the best of his abilities. He didn't make anyone look bad because they made their choices and had to live with the consequences.
He told himself if he moved up he'd always be active and involved with the team his title meant nothing because the work needed to be done consistently, persistently, kept at a higher standard not settling for less.

He woke up ready to get it done. Bust his *** in a timely consistent manner. Getting older making moves on the down low. Tired of the bottom working towards the top. Years of staying down, after hitting rock bottom.
Insulted for being judged without being known. Overlooked being skimmed over the hardest worker in the room. Not one to **** up seen as a threat. Standing out being noticed to not used properly. Spoke up got mistreated said nothing being a solution solving problems.

Growing up with that girl they called your girlfriend because she was around was weird since half the time she showed no interest. She would correct you or check you but it was nothing serious as you get older you don't notice one another other than growing up together.

Escape the looping thought process
No more obsession true confessions
That mean nothing now
Should've been said when the moment counted
It's not too late every side heard but the one who got burned
Hard exterior soft interior
Don't want to hurt
Learn the lesson
Move on to something beneficial
Thinking about yesterday should focus on today
Live in the moment don't go too far ahead
Words that should've been said
Instead of wish they were uttered

The past can't be changed
The past can't be erased
Accepted what has happen
Move towards destiny
Be better with or with the one who hurts your heart
Broken spirits heal with time
Handle what suits you right
Let go of the wrong its a wastes of time
Give your all even if others don't see it enough
Strength is gained from loss
Courage builds character
New mind set forget the past
that's why it's history don't try to go back its already been done
Move towards the future full of mystery
No more loops break them set them straight
Toward new stop comparing to the past its nothing in the events of today

Today Or any day
I could eat it anytime
A sandwich filled a treat
Crunch creamy nutty peanut butter
Jellys with berries variety of flavors
Wheat bread and white bread
Apply just the right amount
Eat it with a cup of milk
Hits the spot tastes alright
Pb&j; any day sounds like it makes my way

Alone at the party watching the crowd
Sober life looking in don't need to drink
To fit in the music is blaring an awesome loud band
Couples dance and having a good time
Sitting in the back admiring the surrounding
Much older clear eyes no more beer goggles
Times have changed never the same forever a memory in the heart
Live and enjoy the good survive the bad everything will play out sooner maybe later but eventually.

Not looking for a hand out but ill send my shout outs
I don't give up even thought I'm extreme live it up
Talking her could make break maybe hate the date
All the annoying stupid stuff you say you is useless anyway
Judging me but don't know me instead to talking show me how to do right you have no clue that's right
Never had to front same person with and around ppl
You don't like me and show, you know I don't care what you think and know it
You try to make an example of me and blow
Plus no one cares shaft you think why are you talking its best if you start walking

She was my friend starting a new chapter in her life. She once asked me why I never asked her out. I heard your problems and all your weakness it would be wrong to know your flaws and pursue you. I had you at your worse as a friend all I can do is be there for you. We could not be anything more our friendship was rocky you dated guys who hurt you and took you for granted. While I had my drinking problem and partied way too much. I was a chapter in your life but now you venture to a new journey. Glad you found love and found someone who will take care of you. You did great while I worked twice as hard and barely getting by. We smiled and laughed cried together but those are memories of the past we departed went out separate way. I'll always be happy for you and believe in you.

Worried so much about making mistakes
Holding back don't want to be judged
Or talked about made a fool of
Give to others do good deeds never enough
Accused of being a cheater been nothing but loyal
Make in the world fear of failure
Not be held back over come obstacle
Doing what matters over wasting time
Dream big but not going too far
Gave up drinking sober living
So much contradiction from others
Dealing with hipocrites being noble and honest
Staying home write stay out trouble Friday night
So hard to be normal
living on a bubble walking egg shells

Exploring the mind and emotions through writing
Years of self destruction but into creating
Music given the right lyrics come to life
Reliving and creating Situation
Where others relate or will they could be a part
Monologues funny stories a crowd understand or interested to learn more
A sketch that has many parts for may characters others could portray
Moments of life I'd like to recreate and share with others
Many new ways to see life many angles fresh perspectives

Too many negative people like a mood ring
They are toxic and it spreads but blame others
You respect values and expect you to change
You avoid them because they ruin your day
Hard to breathe focus turn things upside down
Traditional values changed going with what is already known
Hard to express so much pent up within
Trying to share does it matter does anyone care
Use to be a lead got judged now facing a firing squad
Worked hard to move up in the company
ended up getting beat up by a lazy employee
Who did nothing and collected a check
Opened my mouth ended up being my fault
Said nothing now everyone is talking
I accept others flaw and all not one to judge
hated for calling them on it quick to point out mistakes
my name out of mouths who don't like me
I don't talk about anyone focused on getting things done

As you get older you can't keep doing the same stuff. You don't recover the same and the body goes through more changes even after puberty. The desire and rush fades away sometimes you ignore the delusions stay away from things because you don't agree or want no part of that nonsense. Years of fighting over meaningless stuff you turn your back walk away don't empower the BS. Do what makes you happy focus on being better sometimes you help others on the way other times you need to help yourself. As I get older it's like racing time.
Lots of reaching the top but breaking through on the glass ceiling is the hard part. Doing things that you'd never do or because they told you it couldn't be done. Proving people wrong but they don't care don't be distracted and blinded by people who don't care about you. Use you and take you for granted you deserve much more and better. Helping others can be rewarding but found most are not greatful and don't appreciate your efforts but the ones who do make your efforts feel worth your time.
Times changes don't like that I have to give up my values or beliefs to be accepted. Respect was a big thing if you didn't have it you're nobody. Now a days so many things don't make sense but that's what's trending. I've grown and learned to be happy with myself and work with what I have. It's been a tough road in denial of what the future has become but do respect the reality even if I disagree.
From my teens to my thirties seen and experienced so much you can't stay in the past things change all those road blocks and detours go away. Never too late don't lose hope because it hasn't happened yet.

I've told many stories trying to turn them into words reactions which dictate details
I feed of the crowd the response determines how long I'll talk about a subject
I may not have a successful life but have many life lessons I share with others
I help them letting them know they are not alone or by them self
If your life is bad just think someone else has it worse
I'm one who usually sees it to believe the events that occurred
Thankful to be moving forward might not be a quick tempo but a steady pace that works out for me
I've failed trying and succeed from failing they balance one another out
Turn weakness into strengths and keep building off the strengths
Be better excel keep on striving for more
Even if you don't have anymore to give
I've lived a tough life but now I'm trying not to complicate things

What's on your mind? What's your story? So much to say dk where to start. What aspect of my life are we talking about. Family not close but I do love them. Why am I single been in love been hurt, so many relationships that were pointless and meaningless decided to wait make myself better. Recovering alcoholic staying sober one drink feels like failure consuming me can't go back. A good guy trying to stay good by avoiding bad habits. Working hard to get hired full time but always working harder than the full timers. Giving my all expecting nothing taking pride in my work. Don't care for the credit things needed to be done. Friends will always have a special place in my heart can't replace stuck but need to keep moving forward getting older feels like time is running out. Never too late been waiting it.  All my life working hard for this moment. Get on the next level focused on success once you made it you keep on building on it keep pursuing your dreams even if to others they don't mean anything. All the bad fades away not like my mom or dad but did make the same mistakes learned fast that phase passed.

Tryin not to lose it stay true to myself
Wasn't meant to be refuse to see the truth
Living in denial not taking lies the extra mile
Loyal but still seen as a flirt
Accused of being someone I'm not
Just being not changing for anyone
Just changing to be better
Not trying to go back
Be me and brand new
Mind my own so I'm seen as cruel
Id like things to be the same
Don't even know your last name
I'm not playing games with love
Be true or be on your way
I wish you'd stay be my girl
I want to be your man