He talked to her everyday it was easy because he didn't want or expect anything from her. Till one day he wanted to ask her out but he didn't want to make things weird. He like their friendship, but didn't want to cross lines causing her to think less of him. He was already weird this would make it seem like a bad thing.

He walked on the pier thinking about his life. Staring at the sunset so he can forget his worries and be free for the moment. Life wasn't bad but he wanted to be better. He missed and thought about his grandpa. Trying to live life for both be better something was missing on the outside looking in.

She called him a player when she was the one playing games. He loved her turns out she's just lusting. His heart got broken for being over trusting. He wanted to win her heart make her the one. He found out he wasn't the one but one of many. She was playing everyone projecting the game on others while she played innocent. Times had changed from wine and dine to romance maybe something more. Now things are not what it appears to be.

Onto a new chapter seeing the world differently. Can't be selfish kiddos first family first. Trying to invest and make money off things I love. Watching it go on with out you missing it the transition from athlete to a responsible adult. A role model by default willing to step it up. learning about yourself able to cope and grow

Training with my cousin for his fight annoyed it got postponed. It was helping build confidence and keeping my mind sharp. Always scared to show love or get attached things get taken away or never go according to plan. Been hanging in there ready to break out start over new. Tired of drifting being let go dragged around wandering lost when it feels close to being there. I dont like when things end but it means level up.

Music in these ears
Emotions from the pen
Feelings bleeding out
Inking it all in
Drawing to emotions
Walking down the isle
To theme music
Fans cheering or booing
A fan living the dream
Never thought it would happen
Working for this dream
Only one who seems to believe

"Can't you get along with anyone" a wise man once said. He stood his ground for what he believed even if he stood alone. Mindful of his mouth, if he said anything others are easily offended. He took criticism and made an effort to be better. He sacrifice it was never enough. Willing to work hard do what's right. While others snitch pretending to be important when they are lazy useless. Never talked about anyone behind their back he respected them by saying it to their face. All the talk behind his back made him mad but didn't bother with them anymore.

Never had a chance but pursing opportunity. Biting this lip to be courteous of others most are rude talking about you when you said nothing about them. Trying not to be bad and lower yourself to their level. Not reaction showing no feelings or emotions not letting them get to you. Once good to them now keeping a distance because they expect you to change but not making any effort to be a person. Before they'd rub you the wrong way, mocking your ways provoking to bring out your worse when you told yourself be better

Sobered up all alone trying not to lose faith. Not sure why it happened or why it went down. Losing a loved one hurts and thinking the one you loved would be there to make it better. Expecting too much and wanting too much expecting too much learned to lower the standards. Give your all and expect nothing in return. Nothing is given but earned pursuing a dream trying to make it come true.

From protecting them and taking secrets to the grave not dead. Trying to make it through the week. Up and down with emotions everything but weak. Feelings can be deep mostly strong truth only if they know what he has been through. Should be a sleep but writing has been a safety net a way to process all this frustration causing confusion.

Always straight to the point not holding back been writing for years too much insanity. A clear mind dealing with others not causing ruckus confronting others on their bad intentions. He minded his business usually kept out. Mostly ignored for question the logic that doesn't sound right or seems inappropriate. He spoke when spoken to or gave an opinion when asked. Most would impose when he didnt ask their opinion or care what they though.

The voice in his head said you cant keep up this attitude or live this way anymore. Trying to hold on for dear life when the death grip should be release. Caring that load relieved from the tension. The transition should be embracing new let go of those old burdens. Can't change those outcomes but better for the next time around.

Writing has been a comforting companion and music has been an outlet to escape reality. Enjoying the person interviewed or topic on the latest podcast. Remembering all the joy things I use to be passionate about. Haven't had that joy for a while now. Being able to get lost in it not feel like its a chore or forcing things to get done. Feeling bad for people that don't care but talented. Always working harder than most to prove you want it and belong.

New year focused on being better
Got close but never broke through
Pushed back made waves
Dealt with the backlash
Usually sit in silence and mindful
Doing things that need to be done
Most try to guilt or tell you your wrong
They'd rather watch you help than succeed
Willing to help but they'll bail on you
Got use to being alone
Enjoying ones company

The couple had just broken up she invited him over. He knew it would get ugly and confusing. She wanted to make it work. While he struggled with the idea it didn't make sense. They were in a bad relationships unhealthy for one another. She wanted it to be only them no one else. He was social had friends enjoyed people. At that time he didn't know get it or grasp the concept.

Not labels less pressure, they got along. He was free not going back to bad habits. He loved her but she was toxic. Gave up his friends so he could get sober. She would ruin the day if she didn't get her way. He didn't take the nonsense it made things worse. He always felt like a failure, if he didn't get it right for her. Other than it being physical ****** they didn't get along of have any common interest.

Writing everyday like its a matter of life and death. Sometimes it comes easy feels natural. Other times seek deep inside asking why? Trying to relate usually misunderstood another side nothing to hide. Taking things apart reconstructing them trying to make sense of it each piece plays a role. Rewired trying to make it work when others are quick to replace. Wide awake not able to sleep nerves are calm before needed a drink to unwind easier to open up closed up and closed off holding onto too much.

Found peace talking about it able to concentrate. Focus on living things that matter. The past is history you cant change it thinking about it becomes a roadblock detours to get blessings. Its not meant to be a hard connect to grasp process so many obsessions causing confusion. So many distractions others imposing and projecting these bad ideas concepts that you don't agree with. Things that have nothing to do with yo I labels so others will think less of you. All these voices don't matter the only one voice in your head.

Always loved family don't care to be boxed in or labeled be my own person. Not materialistic or quick to judge anyone. So many made up false standards. people expect you to live upto but aren't even following those made up rules. Always trying to live life don't need much to be happy. Don't need to knock others to feel secure. Dealing with insecurity asking how to improve be better focused on what I'm passion about. Writing always helps clear the mind, and music feeling the groove room to grow improve.

Wearing a mask
Staying away from all
Alone writing feeling safe
More risks insanity in public

Never too late still doing it, always improving not the favorite or going to get recognition. Willing to work for it use to get depressed missed the moment glad to be around it. It's about trusting the processes building up. As a coach, being able to see strengths improve the weaknesses. change it up working on offense hoping to build up speed. Working on a defensive plan with reactions.

Not always liked or a favorite had an opinion why does it need to be explained while some spew out none sense that doesn't make sense. Stopped talking jokes turn into criticism everything becomes to real and personal. Can't joke or play all the double standards get it worse than the rest. Ready for the consequences thought about it not giving them a reason to speak. Had to cut the cord stopped empowering the wickedness. Everyone is ******* you getting punked by someone worse.

Growing letting go its starting to show. White hairs wisdom high lights worry lines lived life not focused on the fight grew up in the struggle; don't need outside factors as a distraction. Dk how I'm going to get to the next level been doing it for sometime now. Part of the everyday routine, makes it easier to get things off the chest not settle for less.

Being himself is all he needed. They expected him to change. He knew who he was and what he wanted. She had these wild ideas and assumptions about him. He knew she would never be happy by denying himself pretend to be someone he's not. All he wanted was for her to like him it was too much and overwhelmed.

All the wild crazy adventures the journey. I like the chemistry, being able to connect with the right person. Rush fades away same routine in pursue of the real thing. Flings come to an end. The struggle to make a relationship work, now a days most want the perks, but no commitment. The one's who matter stay, and don't try to change you. So many pretend to be someone they are not.

Dating was not the same, some want the perks. while back in the days, you had to earned the nookie. Not trying to rush, but can't be waiting around. Thought it was real turned out to be an act. The mask came off the person I loved doesn't exist. A sick of twisted game, so much hurt with the pain is real.
Talked about kids had a scare you talked about an abortion denied the right to be a father. Talked about marriage a failed attempt to save a lifeless relationship that was at the end. Trying to make it work when it was clearly over.
Long distance wouldn't work could barely function in the same room. Life can be cruel one was loyal and true while the other was sabotaging a good thing that became

Writing has been therapy, able to share emotions, and feel. so many try to label you for being different. Hatred for the truth, while others project assumptions full of lies. Don't have many true friends everyone wants different things.
Very rare to meet up with a person, pick up where you left off. Friends come and go like the seasons stick around treat you like family.  Music gives life a positive vibe stories to tell a life lived so many memories.

Losing a loved one
Makes you want to be better
Honor them by stepping it up
Seen so much been around the block
Keep working hard find purpose
Make it meaningful still at it
Live life to the fullest be more
Overcome setback rise above the hurt
That degree so close yet so far
One class at a time one loan at a time
Missing the mats a white belt
Working towards blue
Missing being on the field coaching
Working with the youth develop
Being a mentor to those who need guidance

Able to let it out able to share so many not talking about it. Pretending to be normal been a while no one communicates stuck in their own insanity. Show some feeling emotion all it does is fester up. Ready to explode can't take it or hold on anymore ready to fall leap of faith. Always making the most of things working with what's given. Life's never going to play out as planned make it work keep trying when its not your favor. Moments come and go make them count by making the most of things. Living it while others are giving up.

The problem with being up beat and positive so many negative people try to make you a target so they feel better about themselves. You can't have an off day because they assume something is wrong.
Some days its better to be alone and compose your thoughts. Easier to be alone but do like when people aren't being consumed by their frustration and acting weird over a problem they have no way or control over.
It's easy to be yourself when you don't have others assuming, making you out to be someone you're not.

Wondering why and how could this be? So many lost over these last couple of months. Seen some stuff grew up rough it made this heart tough. Watching a loved one be buried is the worse feeling ever. Always strong for the family broke down crying wiping tears till the day we meet again. Seeing people hurting only if I could take their pain away. Praying for their health so much hurt please let the world heal. Families divided not about being right or wrong but being a better person.

Some is always mad because you're living. Most of all offended for having an opinion. Hater upset because are breathing prefer to be alone than caught up in the hype. Not phased by the drama don't care to be involved. Doing your own thing instead of listening to all the gossip. Won't be influenced by the passive aggressive that choose to be selective about showing interest in you and your life.