Woke up early should be sleeping
Decided to write clear the mind
Up for no reason should be up in a few
Thought about doing it, done this done that
Wondering where thing will end up
Don't always have help or support
Lots of learning alone on the go
A sports fanatic who feels like the jinx
Reads up on the team doing well this season
Watches a game the team chokes
Gaining anxiety so much intensity
Team spirit from a distance
Its all in the mind psychologically

Proving yourself making mistakes
Taking the heat not accepting defeat
Struggling can't stay down forever
All the hurt let it go to heal
Memories fade less impact
Feeling saved for the moment
Emotions are stable composed

Owe it to them to be better
Don't want to leave them
Want to give them more
Take risks to better the situation
Grasp opportunity to help them
They always helped when needed
Time to return the favor
Miss the mat room
A place away from home
Coaching softball dealing with talent
Working has lost the spark
Time for change instead of missing
Should be doing living to the fullest
An oath made to lost loved one
Doing things to the full potential

They did what they did
Not returning the favor
From a friend to another hater
They'd rather see you fail
Than be happy for you
Showed them proved them wrong
Never going to give you your props
They don't have any respect
Expect you to live up to their hype
Trying to shadow you
But on your own path
Don't need or want from then
They dk what's best for themselves
How do they know what's right for you

Powering through the week
From feeling like one of the crew
Use to rolling solo learned to be alone
Made many mistakes still learning
Took multiple risks focused on a dream
Missed out trying to rush slowing down
Set goals came up short still pursuing life
Made a plan never turns out accordingly
An opinion that got twisted than understood
Feelings that aren't respected lost value
Emotions strong get the best of everything

Able to write it down
Silencing the voices echoing
Tried to program doubt within
Attack insecurities to feel secure
Manipulate the mindset more regret
Meaningless vibes not giving in
Family is the world feeling like an alien
An outsider looking in not understood
Don't always fit in or belong anywhere
Speaking when spoken to treated like a child

Growing up with tough love. People being nice is genuine. some do it without terms or conditions. A whole new vibe and experience from the people who care. It feels right without it being thrown in your face or held over your head. Things are not always what they appear to be. Learned to not expect much or ask but to do it yourself if you'd truly like to make it happen.

Sadden that a childhood friendship ended over a girl. One had a casual encounter while the other was in a relationship. This girl came between them. One developed a habit while the other was lost in transition. The struggle within not easy to adapt. Hard to adjust when things are constantly changing. A friend who was a life time friend became a complete stranger. Trying to find balance through all the transition.

Thinking about running
An older body competing
Comparing youth to now
Before was easier
Recovery came quicker
Now a days sleeping wrong
Can lead to great soreness
Can't say anymore better at doing
Didn't like limits pushed through
An internal struggle knowing
Being able to do so without limits
Waking the inner athlete
Pushing through an older mindset
Able to work with around limitations

How did she cheat and accuse her partner. She moved on he was happy for her. Once he decided to the same she was angry and mad at him for his actions. Their relationship was over why did old feelings return. He knew he couldn't go back she tried to make it right both of them wrong for one another.

He was ******* himself when things didn't go right. Wondering where it went wrong life doesn't always make sense. He could figure it out get it right now things are sick twisted than ever. Doing what's best for himself without being seen as selfish. He was selfless putting others first before his own needs. Gave up things, so he be there he feared missing out.

The romance was over they couldn't stand one another. Couldn't be in the same room from smiles to looks of disgust for one another. Both full of anger betrayal among them that kept them from getting along. Things got rushed both had expectations that let one another down. Not able to redeem the love, and the respect was gone. Trust was broken forever trust friendship was totaled. The relationship was tarnished beyond repair.

He couldn't rely or depend on her; after she got her way, or what she wanted, she'd disappear. Calling when things went bad, but once things went well never heard from. How does a married person talk about an old fling; acting like she's single. trying to justify her actions like she's the exception and rules don't apply to her. He was the scapegoat and enabler. He learned the hard way staying away

Woke up early listening to music trying not to think too hard about life. Things are done not able to change the outcome. Still seeking the results another plan changing it up. Things don't come natural lots of practice behind the scenes. Played many roles open to learn and grow over time. Not always heard talking to another plain faces staring in the distance. Words get twisted apparently listing or paying attention to what's being said.

The obsession to go back and fix the past, things ended accordingly; the way they were suppose to. Most didn't end on your terms but fought for a lost cause. At the time everything served meaning and purpose. Haven't been wanting but have been looking. Things use to be new filled with excitement  now things are dull. Expect too much end up with disappointment but expect nothing things seem to have some interesting outcomes.

I pray things go back to normal
No more masks able to go out without fear
Of getting infected
Infecting others so much toxic in the world
Other than the virus
Seen more bad than good
Focus on being a better
While there is so much struggle
Families collide over political views
Children at home not able to interact
This country great and free
The people argue for power
Trying to erase and rewrite history
Lost identities struggle to be a whole

Get tired of listening to all the talk been doing for some time now. Questioning all the nonsense all the wild and crazy nonsense. Seen as stubborn while being judged by people, who dk the life that's been lived. What this journey has taken the person through. Eyes that have seen some stuff ears that have heard bad trying to be justified. Felt betrayed thinking people would do the right thing. Expectations too high from their word while their actions are for their own selfish gain.

Please and thank you can go a long way while so many entitled try to take what does not belong to them. Some work hard put in time, so many try to walk all over everyone. Learning the value of a dollar, every cent earned worth all the physical labor that went into it. Giving everything because things need to be done tired of all the complaining by the lazy workers that still manage to be bitter.

They sat across from one another after years of avoiding one another. Things were said out of anger and frustration now living different lives from how they originally knew one another. So much had changed over time. Moving on was hard but had to be done.
Saving the moments even though they are expired. Wanting to fix the problem try to make it right. Learning to forgive oneself instead of carrying the guilty burdens. That chapter is over a forever friend even if we don't talk anymore.

Start to feel confident while those around setting a bad tone. Those bad vibes killing the good emotions draining everything. Working hard lost meaning watching the person be self destructive. Spoke up again not trying to fail, focused on going up been down for too long. Already messed up, made those mistakes; trying to bounce back finish those loose ends.

Hard to forgive yourself, one of your worse critics. Willing to help others not able to put yourself first, being selfless. Hungered to get ahead tried to make it called selfish. Breaking down the walls that hide the emotions caged in wanting to get out.
Trying to show emotions without them being used as a weapon. Share feelings without them being ignored feeling disrespected. Trying to smile not be consumed by madness caused by others.

Family becomes annoyed when you don't show any emotions. Pretending to show interest in your life. No respect for your feelings ignored trying to share. Excluded for not living up to this imaginary hype. All these thoughts circling round. It's a never ending cycle you forgive them but they still hold a grudge waiting for a mistake to feel empowered. Think they are superior while showing vulnerability.

Use to have tons of friends now sitting alone. Dated many women still single. Hardest work in the room still not full time. Had an opinion got seen as the enemy. Shared feelings seen as weak. Showing emotions to have them be ignored. These are the worse feelings dealing with being alone makes sense but feeling denied seen as a reject. Those labelers are wrong dk the truth with their made up stories to feel superior.

I set out to find love with the right person
I  stayed single because I didn't want to get hurt
Been down found self respect not giving it up
Standing tall hoping the right people come around and stay
Never wanted to get my hopes up so I stopped caring
The reality is it meant everything
For years I was bullied and looked down on for not having a job
Found I can't rely on anyone if I wanted or needed I go do it myself
I got back into the dating world my heart took a beating
Gave her me that's all I can be
Went all in with no regrets or escape route
I give it to god believe something better will come out of the struggle
If not I'm meant for better not settling for less

Inner peace within overcoming many obstacles
Happy able to laugh and smile
Live life guilt free best way to be
Noticed by the world that kept you out
Comeback stronger better
Never quit live be legit
No more giving into guilt trips
Mind your mouth ignore flapping lips
Listen to your heart do what right
Sleep well peace within
Happiness grows and starts to show

Sometimes you find it in others
Other times you need to find it within
Other times you take time for yourself
Taking risks doing what you love
What makes you happy it feels right
You laughed and smiled it felt right
Feeling accomplished achieved glad to be doing it for myself
Over being lost with ways that don't make sense
It's always what others want others structure
I've followed the rules and broke them it's never in my favor
The day you said I couldn't I did
The day I failed it ate me up but still alive
Determined to make it feeling like myself again

My 1st date and kissing that one special girl
Moments thy live on in my head
My 1st present from a close friend and party
Never got gifts growing up got a party on my birthday
The thank you card from the girls I use to coach
The season ended we all departed to better
Lunch with my friends nights out together
Hangovers and memories that made it worth while
My dad coming to my games he'd rather work than be around
Buying comic books to make my collection grow
The day I went off to college my life and future was jus beginning
I'm grateful I could still find happiness even though others don't believe in it

The day we met hard to forget
Asked you out with no regrets
Loving you holding you close
Hard to let go one day my heart will show
Something real starts to grow
If it's fake it will die and fade away
Can't hide it anymore it's killing me
Open heart it glows feeling alive again
I can can't remember certain moments
But will always remember you it feels right

I have a hat
Ugly but I treasure it
Given to me by an old friend
It wear it almost everywhere
It means something I truely care
I've been told throw it out
Makes me love it more
It's my hat I wear when I coach
Been through so much together
We grow old together
Like a hermit crab shell
Its a perfect fit
I might wear a new hat
But the old feels like home

My personal life is not that interesting that's why I participate or watch sports. I use to coach I can't always be at my best but I like to help others strive for it. I don't like to argue I like to get things done.
As a trainer I don't care as long as you try it takes repetition to get better and building on top of what your doing.
I've showed ppl how to do so but they have to want to do so. Diets important but it is killer because learning discipline is hard watching what you put in your body!
Cutting back on sweets and ratting more greens makes a difference and could produce rapid results.

Waiting for a forbidden love that's not meant to be
All the love ****** from the soul and give to another
She took the pure heart and prisoned it in a jar because she had no heart
The heart she had was broken and she unleashed her hate
Someone else broke her tender heart and she took her vengence out on anyone who tried to love her
Her collection would never end hurting and destroying men with her phone act
Men blinded by her charming beauty without knowing they surrender their heart and she would leave them numb and lifeless
Every victim got the same treatment but only one survivor would escape because he believed in love over her lustful ways
Not quick to give into temptation her evil would be unmasked the external beauty wasn't enough he saw her internal beauty what little heart he felt from her she would never be true or the one

I try to be nice and it's mistaken for weakness
Just because your shady that doesnt roll
You talk but I'll check you mouth
Act hard but truth is your weak
You can't will alone come back in numbers
I'll take you all on pick you off one at a time
Your mad but your rude I have no time for attitude
You make my blood boil burn out of my skin
My patience runs thin term oil blows out
Hate the way you act now you don't have a comeback

Doing what I love even if they think I'm not good at what I do. Writing is my voice doing my best to express myself without being judged be my best I'm not always going to be liked or wanted around but found my way with out your approval. I'd ask for forgiveness but the only person I forgive is myself for listening to people are not even trying.

Getting through the choas surviving all these unsettle emotion
The rage from the past comes into the light
Did everything ends up being wrong
I pray to come out strong and whatever
Better off without over feeling shut out
Try to keep it simple road blocks full of complication
Venting out frustration much needed closure
Thought long term everything was short term
Thought how can I change when I've progressed
All I wanted to do is get past being broke
Not a joke others can keep down for long
Its ***** she's gone like must be hatd as a single mom
The way it ended ticking time bomb
Not ready but willing to try
The hurt inside stay strong don't give up and die

He sat in his room looked out the window for inspiration to write. He felt like he didn't belong rejected and denied by those he loved. He thought about his family. He felt he was adopted not like the rest. He grew up with tough love meaning he would have deny himself or be someone he wasn't to be accepted. He meant to be a leader not a follower. His sibling joked being rude mistaken for humor, but he was responsible and respectful. He would remain calm because they wanted to get a rise out of him. He know if he spoke returned a gesture he would be heckled. He would walk away focused on his life not bothering with anyone unless they were supportive and encouraged him that was hard to find. He stayed motivated and working hard even if his efforts did go unnoticed.