It wasn't his dream or his vision. He felt forced out. He minded his business because he knew how everyone was, and didn't want to go backwards. He loved them, but didn't want to deny, who he was to be liked to be accepted.
They told him he couldn't do it, but he has been doing it. Made he feel bad for having a dream while they made no effort to pursue theirs. He respected their decisions while they'd bad mouth him for trying. Now they are making moves nothing but respect that's their thing.

Stop enabling feeding their bad habits
It's hard to quit addiction with others
Avoiding people who drink
Can't be around it anymore
Not into drugs seen peers consumed
Some can't live without it
Unable to function without the fix
Bad habits uniting a friendship
Without toxic traits where's the bond
Could they coexist get along sober

The argument played out in his head the anger. He was use to everyone being a jerkface what's different what changed. After his grandfather died the world seem more miserable than ever he lost his joy. Things didn't make sense so much change trying to stay away. They thought he was gay for having style criticized him for being educated. He was doing what he loved they told him he wasn't good enough. All it did was **** him off and inconvenience him.
He respected their time as they wasted his. He had to walk egg shells while he tolerated their nonsense. He wanted his life back he squatted to compose himself and took too long to get back up.

He took it all in things hard to forget
Now he's older and can't remember
Wanted to reach out make it right
Losing his best friend was hard
Passing of a friend without closure
Wanted to talk it out make peace
The resentment grew worse together
This nightmare feeling cursed
Given space far a part companionship
Denying one another's friendship
Never talked or bonded again
A thing of the past but never forgotten

Defused the bomb within ready to explode
No one gets hurt just self destruction
Malfunctions the right was wrong the wrong was right no justification
Putting it to rest letting it blow away in the wind fade in the sunlight
Not going back to the darkness empowering those causing pain
Out work the lazy gain extra integrity
The voice in the mind goes silent
Feeling revived onto to a new chapter of life
Cant keep doing the same thing anymore
All the insanity not letting it **** the soul
Triggered minds ready to attach a clear heart
Protect the heart that beats in the cage
Not into the fit of rage turning the page
The extra defense a guilty conscience
Not a favorite or liked e
Everything works out will be alright
Dealing with others emotions struggling with his own
Not sure how to act not going back
The resistance causing friction

Finally transferred from the job I disliked because of the horrible lead but feel bad for leaving great people behind me.
Trying to grow and rise to the top; while feeling held back, and shine not treated right, or fair so much expectation.
Eventually speaking up seen as the worse on the outside looking in. At one point was in the inside still seen as the work horse. Pleading for communication and courtesy. Over last minute notice not having enough time trying to do 8 hours of work in 5 hours.
Feeling exhausted used and abused. Your last day no respect just walked out it was over. Being the better man finished strong not changing for anyone. Already been through so much a story that lead to change in a better place than before.

Work piling up not sure
What to do with it thoughts on a page
Pushing all out cant hold it in anymore
What to do with these words
Wanting to help others through the struggle
Writing and outlet for the pain
Express your emotions without others twisting them
The bad guy in their story it's okay to have an opinion
Controlling the narrative to justify the cruel treatment
Choosing peace and silence made room for false narrative
Walked away on the outside looking
Its the same on both sides unwelcoming

Part of him felt dead and showed because he valued and respected them while they told him he wasn't worth it laughed at him treated him like a child belittled his feelings and emotions. He loved them so he took it called him ignorant because he had an opinion. He cut the cord and stayed away because that's, how they felt he respected it and moved onto.
He took the blame he lived with the labels other placed on him as he focused else where. He couldn't voice his opinion so he wrote. He couldn't be that person anymore stop projecting All this nonsense he chose not to give in. They played their mind games.

There till something better comes along then they forget about. Acting like they had it together destroying you so they could feel like a whole. ******* your soul giving them life.
Giving so much still ungrateful not sure how to act or behave since someone is always offended or mad at you for their insecurities. Bring them up with as they bring you down with them.
Wouldn't give up on you, like they gave up on him. Learned to stay away less stress. Trying to be myself do my thing. With out toxic attitudes or bad vibes.

Before the bad relationship
So many curve ***** and changes
A brother murdered so much injustice
Failed love that couldn't be redeemed
So much betrayal broken trust
False promise and disrespect
Broken words with no honor
So many telling you how to act
Who to be what to do
A life that's not meant to be lived
The voices making you doubt yourself

Stand alone writing it down
Use to take on the world
Pick and choose those battles
Not always going to win the struggle
Learn more from losing life lessons
Not always defeat but personal growth
Respect goes both ways not one
Love yourself don't deny it
The right people will accept you
All the wrong hate on you
Try to change everything
Never satisfied with themselves
After destroying your being
Instead of taking time to understand

He spoke his mind they called him crazy. He had an opinion since he didn't always agree. They made him out to be the black sheep for not going along.
They tried to slander him beat him in numbers. Turns out they'd turn on everyone because they couldn't control or get their way. Telling people how to live their life; how to act, who to be. Couldn't they just be happy for people.
Rather than vilify everyone for being different for their efforts belittling everyone because they think their way of life is righteous. Looking down on family like if they did favors but quick to impose an opinion no one asked for.

He didn't say or do anything but still ******* people off. They had more going on and came at him wrong. He didn't have much but thankful for what he had. Made the most of things he never made anyone a target he minded his mouth and business.
They came at him sour he just looked the other way when he checked them they would play the victim. Called them on their BS now they are mad sending more shady his way. He did his own thing not worried about anyone else that tried to make him doubt himself.
Wanting in his head and all they do is twist his words not listening or caring what he said it was insulting to try to tell him how to act and feel rather than understand what was going on.

When they need a favor they are nice sad how they don't bother with you. These people are the worse talking about you and you never said nothing about them because they don't have anything going on for them but you still accept them.
One minute your on the inside wanting out when you are use to being on the outside looking in. Hard to express yourself because everything gets mad personal.
They talk about what you do but never what they do it's the worse feeling ever. Its not worth it if you have to fight for your spot you don't need it. If you worry they slander your name you don't need to be there.

Finding peace and comfort
Reading his bible helped
Through tough times
Praying for strength
Praying for everyone's safety
For everyone's health
This year has been tough for all
Hard to sleep at night
Exhausted all day
Slowing down inhale
Exhale calming all that's within
Usually going strong

Wanted to keep them whole
But things crumbled on your end
No one to blame hard to explain
Change is always occurring
All the pain and memories remain
With time and space it fades away
Stayed strong for them rare they do the same
Bouncing back not staying down
Leaving town one had your heart
The other will always be apart of life
Memories the mind treasures hard to forget
Grew up became an adult all on big jolt

Now that I'm older, so much time has passed
I think of Things to tell, my younger self
Know way more than before, so much growth
Looking older for work has taken it's toll
Made so many friends, all alone in the end
Keep working feels like no one care
Means nothing to others, everything to the heart
Do not be discouraged, did more than most
Many will bad mouth your character
Slander your name, stay positive, push forward
Doing what's right against negative vibes
Being blamed, treated unfairly will make you rise

Rather then get mad he worked harder
His heart meant well giving his all
Even though everything went wrong
Took risks came up short again
Planning to be better go harder
Plotting back at it stronger than ever
Called crazy for pursuing a dream
Did the work still getting written off
Find balance in the struggle
Composure facing chaos looking for closure

Silence in the million of no where
Thinking how to go back
Would rather be lost in the moment
So far from home it's not the same
Kept promises don't want to do it anymore
Stayed quiet to keep the peace
Getting provoked never good enough
Tried to fit in not happy with the outcome
It's not fun anymore can't pretend anymore
From love to hurt not making it easy
Always hard for them to be happy
For anyone they have more than most
Never been materialistic it's how you treat others

She got a bf the guy; who liked her missed his chance. Never took the risk thought there was time. Things change so quickly from flirting to seeing and hearing she's with someone else. A hard pill to swallow take in without any regrets.
From good friends to complete strangers. Those feelings lead to num emotions. Hard to breathe take it in. Being a man not showing things got to him. Deep down it was taking its toll on his heart.

Change is amazing over time
Ran into the alcoholic that's now sober
The player that settled down
That's married originally against it
All of a sudden believes in love
Clean living clarity of mind
A wild ex now a mother
Took the leap of faith
Seen wedding pictures posted
Change of faces new crowds
Don't last forever take it in
Short lived moments lasting forever
Life long memories taken to the heart

Sam was trying to calm his nerves. His heart raced so much frustration Sam could feel the depression moving. He was usually upbeat and collected. He felt like he lost it and losing it. Being called ignorant for having an opinion called sensitive for showing emotions. Sam went in his room opened his notebook and let it all out. They expected him to explain when everything was already said.
He wasn't the same anymore over time he made changes took steps back and sacrifice they dk or care unless he lived up to these made up rules over the double standards lots of lies and false promise sent in his direction.

He wondered why were they talking about him. He analyzed the situation not the person. He respected what they felt and thought because he had his own things going on to be worried what others were saying about him.
He thought highly of them while they made him out to be crazy for speaking up.
He loved to be involved but since it required him to give up who he was deny himself he couldn't do it. He was making moves in silences behind the scenes. He couldn't be the lead because everything became his fault. He couldn't handle the pressure all he wanted was to work hard get his part done.
The mind is everywhere can't please or make everyone happy. He didn't put his happiness in the hands of others. He down played his ego moving forward was hard since it kept pulling him back. He knew he had to grow and change with the seasons change life was ambiguous. Everything happened late for him it was inevitable

A confession to cleanse the soul
Protecting others taking the bullets
Helping family made out to be the villain
Taking one for the team working hardest
Soon to be a future lead tired of settling
Hated for being a shooting star
Working hard striving in life
His name slandered by friends
Other quick to believe the lies
Staying loyal seen as a threat
Standing tall with moral standards
The social rep ruined by people
Who don't try but expect everything
Spoke the truth it's the right thing to do
Called people on the nonsense

Being pulled in different directions. Staying loyal and true find balance
About to go over the edge
Had to cut toxic family
Love them keeping a distance
Falling into bad habits trying to chill
Trying to chill therapy sessions
Always the scapegoat getting the hate
Working at two locations
Not enough time barely getting by
Backed into a corner everyone happy
Building up foundation in the struggle
Trying to communicate be fair
Winning on one end giving it all
Losing on the other neglecting
****** expression showing frustration

He walked on the pier thinking about his life. Staring at the sunset so he can forget his worries and be free for the moment. Life wasn't bad but he wanted to be better. He missed and thought about his grandpa. Trying to live life for both be better something was missing on the outside looking in.