Looking for peace
Trying to find purpose
Work use to be fun
Everything has hit rock bottom
The new leadership doesn't care
There was community
Now it's lacking tired of lies
Spoke up nothing was done
Not feeding into it turned away
Focused on life not going to settle
No longer asking just doing
Divided workers who care get it done
Lazy that have no right to complain
Go burned never again
Hard to trust due to betrayal
Keep going forward is a must

The music flowing through the mind
Things that need to be said talked about
Feeling the energy and vibe the technique
Drilling hard treat it like the real thing
Wanting to move up committed
Keep working building up from practice
Pain cause by family calling you sensitive
Insulting your intelligence not being accountable
Trying to break your spirit not giving a chance to do so
Don't expect them to fix just destroy
Acting like the criticism did you a favor
Providing a strong argument with reason
Talking loud not listening being one sided
Shouting false narrative mostly lies
Doesn't make your opinion right

A hopeless romantic couldn't wrap his mind around why it failed. She said NO but ended up with someone else. He said too much but never made broken promises. Or said nothing all that energy from the emotions imploded from within.
All the things he could've said but couldn't get the words out. His mind seen so many ways that played out. His imagination made him happy but did cause conflict when he came back to reality.

The moment had come, he looked in her eyes and told her; how he felt about her. The look in her eyes went cold and a blank stare. From good friends to complete strangers. He wanted to take it back make it right but that's how he felt. The cold silent response made him feel ***** for expressing his emotions. She cared for him but didn't not see him like that. She would confind in him the bond was broken. He thought highly of her and she didn't think anything of him. She had placed him in the friend zone and it could be nothing more.
The connection was lost from talking everyday they could barely speak and make eye contact. He was hurt but would get over it. Later she would get with his so-called best friend. It was a secret that would later be exposed to him. How can he trust anyone when these people, he thought highly of partnered up against him. Eventually he told himself be better and not settle for less.
Life would fast forward they both had kids with someone new one married and the other bonded by children.

He knew the truth honored it
Never given a chance took many risks
Going against the odds no one listened
No one believed in his skills
Thought he could do it
Got tired working the hardest
Giving his all seen as a rebel
Speaking up when no one else did
Stood alone while everyone followed
Asking questions not getting answers
Called a tyrant seen as delusional

You cant day anything they try to twist your words. Make you out to be the bad guy when they are doing, or have done worse. Trying to cancel you out change erase history to justify these new made morals and standards. Raised differently compared to today sensitive society. Trying to tell people how to act when they dk how to act right themselves.   Never been one to hide behind a computer screen spoke up said something. If nothing got done just focus on getting your stuff done.  That hard work over political debates because so many can BS their way through trying to dump in on someone else.

Too many complain campaign about everything
Rather than be the one who made a difference
Stands tall the resistances turn the page
Causing rage so many chose to settle
Than step it up be better make it happen
Not gonna run not gonna hide
Almost died revived made to survive
Another protest just to be heard
Not doing enough life is tough
Do something can't wait around
Doing nothing meant to be doing something much more

His dream was a nightmare to others
Working harder than most barely getting by
Never too late make time for it
Write your story no one can do that for you
Dealt with those who accept things
Quick to ask a question
If it sounds weird clarification
Had an opinion got blocked
Didn't mean to trigger a guilty conscience
Put out the truth it got real
Defensive liars ready to strike
Opposed for being different
Observing the situation
Analyzing the vibes

Writing has been therapy clearing the mind of extra stress being able to vent without others twisting your words. Always taking in the bad while focusing on the good. Its therapeutic while listening to metal music the drums and fast pace tempo is so comforting.
Using colored pens to fill each page writing for closure to let go of the things that don't matter trying to stay sharp more focused composed on things that will help better the situation. Fell off trying to get back on track.

In my mind I find peace make sense of everything
I hate to fail but come up short
Try to stay on time and consistent with all the resistance
I'm getting older everyone feels more distant
All I do is listen to people who set me up to fail
All I want to do is make it and prevail
One to fight and Bite now all I do is tuck my tail
Not arguing with useless people who take me for granted
So numb I feel life less feel my soul leave my body
Mistake for dead emotionless in my head
Stare off into the distance block it out
The sounds around me becomes white noise
Feeling trapped can't escape over all the hate
Faced my fears no one knows wipe the tears
Smile like the hurt isn't there
Hide it all be strong for others
In the end it catches up you want to leave it behind
comes back not ready for the attack
Hard to breathe what's next
can't keep living of the same good deeds

Finding another way doesn't make it wrong some have to do side stuff to help you get to the next level. Meeting people you wouldn't normally friend but you learn so much from others than your actual peers sometimes. Should've focused on this career more than partying and saving friendships that aren't meant to be.
Staying strong through those tough times. Feeling like you are built up so someone could come take shots at you. A cheap shot to try to keep you level and humble; who are they to do so. You respect them they clearly have no respect for you. Getting older makes you not want to pry or get involved since everyone makes a fuss but does nothing about it.

Watched highlights and missed it
Went to see his nephew play
The mindset came back he missed coaching
On the field thinking about things
Resting his body ready to explode
On the mats was his escape
Cautious because of his strength
Trying not to hurt others
Forgetting his troubles unwinding
Focused on technique coordination
Rumors spread he was hurt
The gym owner asked he was insulted
Annoyed how work conflicted with training
Had to work he was born poor
Taking on struggle trying to grow
Everything he had was earned not given

Wondering why and how could this be? So many lost over these last couple of months. Seen some stuff grew up rough it made this heart tough. Watching a loved one be buried is the worse feeling ever. Always strong for the family broke down crying wiping tears till the day we meet again. Seeing people hurting only if I could take their pain away. Praying for their health so much hurt please let the world heal. Families divided not about being right or wrong but being a better person.

Frustrated explained the problem. The situation everyone with a blank stare. Feeling like the person is useless and doesn't care. Unable to explain so they'll understand.
Once though highly of them now they are nothing, but a waste of your time. They aren't going to help just being nosey in your business.
Feeling trapped not able to breathe. Stuck trying to find an escape. Need to break away these ******* trying to dictate your  future. They know what you wanted and denied it. Now the need to prove them wrong flip them off. Prove them up for being condescending *******.

All the tears all the pain
Trying to live be normal
Working with complications
Trying to balance out the sanity
Striving through only if others knew
Some so cruel making it hard
Others evil that's their truth
Trying not to fail your supporters
Not fail yourself dealing with intensity
Writing to feel praying it gets better
Express these hard words to speak
Staying positive about the situation
While things are at their worse
Being the love that was neglected
Supporting those who feel alone
Praying for those dealing with mental torment

Writing with colored pens, makes writing seem more creative. Really enjoying the new process. Changing things up coaching is pushing the person you work with making them better its easier when they want it.
Now being coached is easy but when you are older with limited range of motion pushing yourself to be and do more. Waking up that muscle memory is intense when its been a while. Soreness is a great feeling after because you worked hard pushed through. Got to be able to work both sides of the pads open to learn the variations of combos and drill room for improvement and growth.

He couldn't grasp it and it didn't make sense he was working hard getting by while others are given everything and ungrateful. It was eating at him all the hatred and disrespect that came his way. He minded his mouth most of all his business.

Open to change willing to grow
Do the work not the drama
Stop comparing or blaming
Ask what you want and apply
Writing it out with feelings
Cope with those emotions
Let it free from within
Free from the past life lessons
Live in the present
Analyze and revise the plan

No one takes pride in your work they are quick to snitch you out throw you under. Not falling for the bait or putting up with the hate. Team work to get it done usually one sided the truth is everyone bitter divided going to write about it.
Hard to remember so much that needs to be done have some fun and write it all down a check list racing time feeling calm after making it half way through.

Things would never be the same not pretending to be okay. It was wrong for anyone to say anything, He minded his mouth and business. Faded away not bothering just staying out of the drama. Looking at art questioning the artist respectfully.
As a creative person I wonder about the process because I could write for hours but drawing is an obsession of the details show without explaining.
Putting your heart soul and being into the art piece writing for me is like putting together a puzzle putting feelings and emotions together. Sometimes they connect other times it takes a while for things to link up.

Feeling regret made a stand
Taking the insults had enough
Hoping to transfer soon start over
Looked out now filled in willingly
Now feeling left out being rebellious
Called them out proved a point
Wasn't the one got hired
Told there was better candidates
Got insulted gained thick skin
Told the job was a stepping stone
Working harder than everyone
Trying to make it through probation

Holding pads something didn't feel right. It wasn't wrong but felt off. He asked a question but was told do the work. He retorted with I'm doing the work, "I want to do it right" being able to adapt and adjust making sense of the confusion.
Practice sets the tone for the fight. All the sacrifice rebuilding yourself starting over means you have experience time to change it up. Back to basics focus on form and technique. A few losses can humble your ego leading to a better product.

Trying to find true love
Anxious for it been deceived before
Fell in love with her soul addicted
Her smile could make his day better
Not able to get enough once it ended
Couldn't get that fix
Expecting the person fix a tampered heart that's broken
Moving on was hard not using the new to get over the one
Once rushed trying to heal getting over one by getting under another
Took time alone got away reading and writing to get new perspective
Fell out of that world ventured in another

Writing everyday like its a matter of life and death. Sometimes it comes easy feels natural. Other times seek deep inside asking why? Trying to relate usually misunderstood another side nothing to hide. Taking things apart reconstructing them trying to make sense of it each piece plays a role. Rewired trying to make it work when others are quick to replace. Wide awake not able to sleep nerves are calm before needed a drink to unwind easier to open up closed up and closed off holding onto too much.

Grew up hood not acting ghetto
Some have it all still ungrateful
Working for it nothing is given
Pursuing a dream nothing else matters
She cheated trying to pass the blame
Homie talking bad not a friend anymore
Did wrong can't carry the burden
Forgave who did their ***** deeds
Never forgiven walked away intact
Loyal to the wrong people
Bunch of two faced jerks
Watched them go away
Not accepting defeat from traitors
Everyone fades away focused on goals
Focused on doing right rising up
Knife in the back take it back
Full force going strong all heart

Been writing over all the fighting
You don't understand me stop trying to change me
Been loyal and true while you are evil and cruel
Woke up to be great you always late don't need the nonsense or the hate
Over all the fakeness fake to my face
Think you are real I see through the front

Tool a while to talk about it always thinking about it. Thinking it could've been done differently while noticing he had no say, no control the first time around. When did it go wrong how did things end up so sour. He was too involved and got frustrated with the situation. Or he gave his trust not always assuming the worse.  Later to be told he didn't care called selfish for respecting boundaries.
He had their back even if he was on deck waiting around in the background. He always asked what the problem was trying to provide a solution and thinking things through first before over reacting. He didn't want to make a scene and wanted to know both sides of the story to make sense of it all.

Not going to overreact after being burned
Have nothing to say the truth is out
No longer listening to lies called to the conference room by the lead who claimed to be a friend. I feeling like a man who got set up to be wacked instead of being made.
Betrayal tastes like baja blast mountain dew. Overwhelmed with same false promise stuck facing the person who took the spot that was said to be mine.

He was trusting to the wrong person it all came out. She was triggered ready to make the **** shot. He surrendered just wanted peace it was never ending no pretending. He didn't care to prove himself even when provoked. Walking away from all the sadness not letting them knock you rebuilding yourself up. From a crowded path to being a trail blazer scared to drift but journeying onto new leaving the old.

Feels like something is wrong
Haven't done anything extreme
A pause for the cause diverse emotions
Trying to relax recover from the stress
Bring good vibes wrestling with bad thoughts
Did the work scared to come up short
Made the wrong right crippled feelings
Fearing a negative outcome
Taking on more overwhelming frustration
Riding out most of the struggle
Protecting others from crazy
Those blindsides are the worse
Unexpected feeling rejected
Remained loyal disrespect

No one bother with him so he decided to do whatever made him happy. They made him out to be the bad when did nothing wrong. He showed them love and respect while they made him feel like he didn't belong or matter. He didn't take it to heart because in the end he was alone with or without he would live his life to the fullest. Without others trying to influence him or talk to him like he was an idiot. He didn't always know but open to learn so he didn't have to rely or depend on anyone.

The date ended it go weird
From friend to strangers
Love blurred with lust
Forgiveness over broken trust
Made the most of the moment
Now it's over not meant to be
Desired more hard to see
True love hard to fine
Blinded by starved emotions
Feelings of confusion from the heart

Some still have it going strong
Others are fighting for it on the level
Getting older not the same
The mind adjusting to new ideals
Body going through change
Elders passing away with time
Loved ones no longer talking
Praying everyone would get along
All the pride doesn't make ot right
Saying sorry doing the same stuff
Instead of changed behavior
Holding a grudge isn't an apology
Not talking to keep the peace
Both to stubborn to compromise
One telling lies to justify things
The other not saying nothing getting heat
Everything could be made right with talking
Both offended making it personal and deep

Always writing, the thoughts flow
Not use to the words being spoken
Never bass in the voice, flat and soft
One to talk, no reason to yell to be heard
The words come out low, important to project
Always listening to others advice
Asked for guidance got no response
Found away, it's wrong decide to speak up
No one asked all of a sudden something to say
Consideration return the favor trying to help
Stubborn mindset blocks out other perspective
Writing is expression only way to be heard
Find feelings emotions in every word
Flying free wild bird, escape this cage
See the world meant to be heard