Always saying sorry for everything
Some hold on to everything
Could never let it go
Never forgetting the past
Holding you at arms length
For telling the truth, being honest
Having your own ideas opinions
Someone is always mad
Telling others to change bad habits
Never want to change remain the same
Stuck in their ways addicted to old feelings
Trying to relive old emotions
Moments that passed were not there anymore
Growing for new moments
Scared to start a new beginning
No going back to relive the past
Everyone is going through something
Some in the wrong justifying it as right
The silent treatment has loud mental consequences
Wanting to speak out holding it all in

Fired from the first job what made it worse was he let his cousin down.
Getting beat up at work to lose the second job by an older lazy coworker
Ever job and life lesson learned changing not meant to be the same
Tired of holding onto bad it never gets good or better
Just positive thought and optimistic thinking is close as it gets
Moving forward years being stuck stuck in the rut

Easy to dominate work
Learn to take a time out
Analyze the situation
Read others so many factors
Different angles and perspectives
Learning to be family not let them down
They don't need to be mad at me
I'm already ******* myself
Use to being judged by others
People think less for being different
Now you give them a reason to do so

Why don't you talk to (insert name)
Lost friends over girl
Someone made up lies that got believed
Jealous because one's on the rise
The other made no effort and stuck
All the talk behind your back
Would respect a face to face more
A friend speaks up tells the truth
Even if your voice shakes
The fear of losing a friend hurts
The loss of a friend should never happen
An apology that's not forgiven
A grudge that's held as a divider
This awkward silence not helping
A cold stare: why worry? why care?
Told the truth out of respect
It was out of love even if it went wrong
Miss your friendship not toxic behavior
Enjoyed your company learned it was all fake
Seen as family once a mistake is made
Do you treat family with hate
Not going to argue or debate
Minds made up written off
The hearts gone dark no more love
No point in trying to change it

He wrote about it then it played out one of the weirdest feelings that made sense for once. Usually facing obstacles taking and L even will all the effort invested.
Learning to keep going strong since no one else seems to want it been getting love and less hate. All the trust and confidence instead of being set up to fail. Told NO getting ******* over not backing down or afraid been doing this for years no more fear the tears just hard work plowing through
Trying to make it to the next level pursue a dream with extra activities finding balance trying to have it all without sacrifice years of compromise trying to get back on track things on pause on the back of the mind

Tired of arguing with family
Why can't we get along
Stop holding grudges
Why is it hard to say sorry
Why can't it be easy to forgive
Holding a grudge is easier
An excuse to be bias made a target
Justify the bad behavior doing wrong
All the misconduct needs to stop
Alienated for being different
One opinion doesn't matter
Trying to influence others perspective
Making allies against a common enemy
Taking a breath composing yourself older
Some never change remaining the same
Forgiving is easier than holding a grudging
Letting go instead of holding onto the bad
An open mind in a world of negativity
Staying loyal and true to family even through the dark times

After a fee set back you shake it off and stay focused. Everything you wanted is not meant to be yet. Everyday is a fight sometimes you let God take on battle because it can't be won.
Trying to stay on course but side tracks and detours are part of life. In and out of the hospital learning to take better care of yourself. The self destruction no one care only you could fix yourself. The past can't be changed and the people who hurt you won't fix what they broke.
They used you then dropped you like a bad habit. Once you loved your heart doesn't want to hurt them while the mind wants to plot revenge. It doesn't make it right or any better everything becomes worse than before.

Looking for inspiration to inspire
Music setting a tone to write
Enjoying the creative process
Trying to get that writers high
It's never enough striving for more
Find that connection for that fix
Building it like legos it comes together
Seeing it in the mind trying to share
Bring the vision to life on the page
Every detail from memory explained
The eyes took in so many moments
Felt so many emotions during it
The tones adding the shades
Many shapes size colors

Just because we are family
You can't tell me
How to live my life
I've grown taken risks
You did things played it safe
I'm working for mine
I respect you had a family
Respect my decisions to pursue a career
I respect who you chose to be
Stay home be a mom that works for you
I might've detoured doing what I love
I'm pursuing my passions
Always writing telling my stories
My side of the story the truth
We are different people different lives
You can't pick or chose to be in my life
Commit fully or don't waste my time
That's all I ask always outta place
Trying to fit in when I should belong
Not just be in the background ignored

He finally got hired years of filling the void. A life time of lies hated for being honest and honorable. Taking pride in his work while others get made. Claiming he "made them look bad" when they shouldn't complain step it up. Smiled during the dark times. Laughing through the good times
Watched it go down wasn't his business now they are trying to impose no longer interested in opinions no one asked.

He vented about things to clear his mind. All he wanted to say was **** and mind your business. Tired of everyone talking about each other instead of to one another.
Walking eggs shells as everyone did way worse pretending to be better than you. That's on them no one bothers to make it right. They'd rather hold a grudge than make things better.
Everyone talks loud when you aren't around but when you walk up they stare with an awkward silence. He smiled and said hi even when he got the cold shoulder.

He loved her she didn't feel the same way back. When he seen her with another guy is destroyed him he felt unworthy. The betrayal was on a whole other level. He didn't fight because she never belong to him when he moved on she'd come back. It really messed with his mind. She told him he was a good friend then got into a relationship. She claimed to love him now that she's married he wanted to be friends now he gets why he can't be connected to couples. The frustration and complication.

Putting forth effort so much energy that needs to be matched. After a failed relationship or two learning to say what you want what you're looking for. It's not a one sided venue anymore. Lots of trial and errors in the process.
Learned so much from failed friendships that made one doubt his judgement because he seen greatness within them but got their worse. Why did they think it was okay to try and BS everyone because they aren't getting their way or what they want taking down others because they are not happy.
Get back in the grind years of being told NO being told it didn't matter. Did way more than most staying strong through those tough hurtful moments. You shared your passion pursued it while others sat back waiting for you to fail or step aside riding others tails to step out steal the spotlight.
Bouncing back from all the crazy always trying to be better make this situation better than before. Love family but they aren't supportive or believe in you. You believe in yourself stay motivated stay stronger than the rest. You hurt the most but hide it. The pain can be intense masked becoming immune to everyone and everything. You lead while everyone is giving up quitting ready to walk away. Digging down deep stepping it up be the guy not leave it for the next.

Trying to do right everything went wrong
It went from a crush to a fling
Not knowing where things would end up
It was over before things got started
A ***** secret hidden from the world
Why can't it be in the open
The love felt had so much pride
On the outside looking in what if
Why can't we be friends anymore
How did this start where did it go wrong
Scenes in the mind stuck on a loop
Trying to remember for understanding
So many x factors not there anymore
Not in that place there's no going back

The podcast was fun but want his vision anymore high jacked by a guy who saw a business. He wanted to record with friends and talk about things that grab their interest. Soon it had a video feed that was not fun a camera in your face. Getting BS no say or control once it got overwhelming he dropped out. It went on without him soon it went cold turkey.
He waited a year to started a podcast. Thinking what he wanted to do; how he wanted to say it like when he would write. Couldn't sleep thinking, what's the missing link? His vision wasn't hard, but others didn't understand get him.

Why can't we get along? Someone is always mad or offended. Jokes turn to insults not able to communicate with one another. Families divided not trying to argue or fight to be heard. Excluded trying to fit in but once you do your own thing all of a sudden considered. they decide you are liked because you found a way without them.
Not seeking approval anymore being your own person. Feeling against the world onto of internal struggle

He lived on the ghetto side of town; working hard to barely get by. While she was born privileged without a worry. She always had her way, and never heard "no". She was always given opportunity; while he was fighting to fit in; survive in a tough cruel world.
Her family said, "she could be, and do anything." While his parents told him he was a no body and would not amount to anything. Who knew two people from different worlds would cross paths. He dreamed of being more, and wanted to do great things.
Their first encounter was at a college party, she didn't find him attractive but she did admire his honesty. No one ever called her on her crap, she was wrong but always justified it. He would not let her pull the wool over his eyes.
He was not one to fall in love when he loved and it failed he hit rock bottom hard. She would try to restore his faith in love but he was too stubborn in love with someone else. She wanted to help not quick to give up on people. Her fight for him to love her was a tough conquest since she made up her mind and knew what she wanted.

He would hide in his room and write to help him figure it out put things into perspective. He knew he made mistakes and tried to learn from them.
He forgave himself since he usually blamed himself for being over trusting to all the wrong people. Always opened to grow and learn something new. If he couldn't find it there he had to go else where so he can gain from his experiences.
Encounter new people and places he found closure so he was able to move on. He waited by saving their place but realized; they were gone not coming back.
It was time for him to do the same by moving on with his life. The hurt was real eventually immune to it all.

You want to leave but no where to go
All your friends have grown
Some married no time for the single life
Others have kids with more responsibility
Reaching out to old faces that are now older
Unted at youth divided with time
Remember those days and wild moments
Before life took off everyone focused on their situation
Some have more others barely getting by
The struggle some love more than one
While others are learning to love and alone
Use to go out now not bothering anymore
Life changed sober but not over just begun

Dealing with a new lead was refreshing he preferred to focus on the work and be left alone. He open to change but feels insulted when people only contact him when he needs something. Trying to be noble and fair with his peeps. Reaching out being ignored was frustrating now that he's doing his own thing. Formal peeps show up with bad news ruining his day. Trying to stay connected with peeps who mattered while avoid those that made him feel worthless.
Nervous for the change rising taking on more responsibility because it was a younger crew while the old retired. He was use to them making the calls as he followed. He was in the hot seat taking charge taking control of the out of the awkward situations.

Keep creating let it flow
Make your imagination come to life
Dreams make sense in the mind
Desired more mentally experienced
Physical demands become obsessive
Love the process to create not holding back
Things come together don't want it to end
Starting turns into more playing with ideas
Feed back the development is appreciated
Looking back close to the end
Asking what was going on where did it come from

He felt misplaced working to fit in and belong to be kept out. Tired of being ignored denied he stood tall walking alone. He was called a rebel focused on his work his life time projects. He wanted to help but couldn't get involve but did listen to understand. Learned listen but most observant. A mouth full of tangents tell one story while deceitful actions with alternative motive.
He crossed paths hoping not to bump heads due to conflict of interest. His opinion always became a problem questioning failing authority figures

He didn't have it in him to argue anymore
Tired of the path of destruction
Opening his mouth caused
But didn't want others to punk him out
He decided to do his own thing
Stuff that made him laugh and smile
Didn't need much to be happy
Accepted being alone use to his company
Tried to make it right now its worse
Left it alone in the end it was thrown on him
Thought about the consequences
Those actions he apologized but it kept happening
Wanted to be forgiven but treated different
Decided to find a new crowd where he was accepted

Woke up to cold weather this made his day better
Over the scolding heat hoping it would rain
The clouds fluffy and full gave him hope
Wet days are better filled with joy
The rain would wash the bad vibes
Feeling cleansed after the season passed
The smell of wet dirt this would be alright
Growing grass full of life after being dried out
With all this year around summer
Another season needed a turn over the burning heat
Moist and refreshing giving inner peace
Stay calm and enjoy the weather change
Like a good book just turn the page

He was tired of taking on the world
Standing his ground refusing to budge
Then got a text from an old friend
She wanted to catch up like the old times
He was not good at social cues especially when it come to women
He didn't want to give too much
But didn't want to mess up and lose her
He was always a better friend than a BF
Trying not to complicate things made it worse
He was not good at expressing his feeling
Showing emotions was hard because he didn't want to get hurt
She thought highly of him
But never though anything bad
He didn't force people to stay
But he didn't want them to go either
After a while you grow up and stop getting attached

He was old school this new way of life didn't make sense or sound right hard to trust others moral compass. He was blamed for her lies and deceit while he remained loyal to the wrong person.
Once he moved on; she came back place a mind bomb. He started over and date someone else, she got territorial. She didn't want him but didn't want anyone else to have him.

Been doing good, tired of feeling like I don't match up.
Been giving my all, sometimes I burn out no time for myself
Keep coming back for more
Struggling to survive
Struggling to get by without my thoughts consuming me
Trying to not let my emotions get the best of me
The problem is I care too much and will give my all and much more
Find away nothing can keep me down or turn me away
Might cut some slack but not turning my back
Hanging in my room trying to figure it out
Writing is the only way to get it out
Held back but not one to knock others
Pick them out help them be better

The day we met hard to forget
Asked you out with no regrets
Loving you holding you close
Hard to let go one day my heart will show
Something real starts to grow
If it's fake it will die and fade away
Can't hide it anymore it's killing me
Open heart it glows feeling alive again
I can can't remember certain moments
But will always remember you it feels right

Hard to sleep, deep in thought
coped with things never the same
My mind a place that is home
Inner peace within not interrupted
Writing late feels right, a cold peaceful night
The fan blows the cold breeze
The moonlight sets the tone
Not one to argue, writing has become my voice
Not always the hero in others story
Mind my mouth getting heat from others
Spoke my mind now it's time for the third degree
Worked hard made it fun time to let go
Over stayed the welcome can't do anything
Let go find something new full of promise
Hopefully it is true worthy of staying
Over bouncing around being a drifter
Different places that are not a fit another change
Random faces never the same bad with names
On the open road driving takes away the pain

In the dark the music blasting loud
The beat fills my heart
The lyrics touch my soul
Starting to glow from within good vibes seep out
Music gives me strength to survive
Music helps me grow feel alive
Let's me know I'm not alone with my thoughts
Or the only one who feels this way
The struggle is real music gets me through the day
Says all the things I have trouble saying
I'd speak my mind, my mouth gets me in trouble
Been hurt and hurt others not my intention
Seen some stuff too crazy for me I had enough
Letting go is the hard part but you won't regret it
once you do you're free from the burden
Once you start, keep progressing, stop obsessing

Not always feeling this way analyzing compacted emotions late reactions. Not a **** up or brown noses working harder to shine from the bottom. Looking at the top can't stay down forever. A contender determined to be a champ, doing his best not settling for less.
Blinded sided side tracked working to get it all back. From down not out crazy enough to come back for more. All heart and reps drilling for killing the motions, emotions going strong on the go on the road never home.

Listening to hits the music lost in the vibe
Feeling the bass empowered by the lyrics
Taking you away from the complicated reality
Makes more sense than others drama
Causing a smile remember a better time
Certain people come to mind another time
Watching people change the music is forever vibing alive surviving

He woke up ready to take on the day
Dressed his best to do his best
Wrote down ideas focused on the work
Writing his book a life projects
Playing with some deep thoughts
Trying to make it working for
Nothing is given but earned
Lost in practicing bass guitar
Feeling it doing pad work
The concentration is sharp
Focused on being better

When you do what your suppose to do
Looking around worried hoping
Praying everyone is doing alright
Someone is always mad instead of thankful
Complaining instead of focusing on the blessings
Comparing life to another's just keep living
Everyone is struggling or going through something
You're not alone everyone is important
What you do to better the situation matters
Somethings you have no say or control over
Take on what you could handle one day at a time
Either you live in the moment or miss things
Trying to live up to others expectations
Everyone has a plan it might not happen right away
It might happen not accordingly keep doing the work
Keep growing and learning build a foundation
Appreciate supportive people let go of the toxic ones
Share memories and moments don't let anyone dull your shine

Some people make it but don't want you passing them up
You keep working and grinding in silence
Learning everything willing to grow
Helping others to keep things productive
While others neglect to keep job security
Some set the bar others break them
Some provide a print out others have to build off that
Sometimes it's easy others get close
Some stay stuck too prideful too ask
Success is measured differently
Others get by without doing the work
Some do the work making it easier

Owe it to them to be better
Don't want to leave them
Want to give them more
Take risks to better the situation
Grasp opportunity to help them
They always helped when needed
Time to return the favor
Miss the mat room
A place away from home
Coaching softball dealing with talent
Working has lost the spark
Time for change instead of missing
Should be doing living to the fullest
An oath made to lost loved one
Doing things to the full potential

Love family not having kids
I can't afford With baby mommas drama
Trying to stay sober not smoke ***
Numb like a robot no emotions
Did wrong not justify it as right
Trying to start another argument or fight
Chose bad habits over doing what's right
No money for the kids feeding addiction
Running away from the problem
Instead of being responsible
Manhood always challenged
Doing nothing getting disrespected
Mom materialistic feeling abandoned
Dad never showed up anxious to meet up
The pretend dad made a new family
Excluded left out on the outside looking in